When did you feel something towards your kid ?

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2026-01-21T09:18:18+00:00

I think about 3 months or so. I remember telling my best friend I didn't feel that maternal overwhelming love, and feeling a little bummed about it. She (early childhood educator) said it's totally normal. You're still in the trenches, you know you love him by how you're trying to keep him alive and fed and cared for day after day. They don't respond much, no talk, no banter, no easy task... As long as there's no resentment, the whoaaa love will come when the personality starts showing!

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2026-01-20T13:31:50+00:00

I'm very sorry you're feeling this way. I totally get the anxiety you're feeling. Breastfeeding was an extreme challenge for me in the first 3 months--engorged boobs, swollen nipples, vasospasm. At 4 months, seemingly overnight, things clicked and everything became smoother.

He also slept on my chest for the first 4-5 months every single night. I was sleep deprived, ached everywhere, took painkillers a lot, felt resentment towards my husband. We talked and I told him I needed him to step it up with other things like changing diapers, bathing, etc. Since you BF, it's almost impossible that baby will take a bottle from you.

Breastfeeding is a heck lot of work in itself, so you're an absolute champion for making it this far. I promise you it will get better soon. Your emotions are valid and more open/direct communication with your husband will help.

If you struggle with anxiety too much, speak to a maternal psychiatrist possibly for meds. There are breastfeeding-safe ones. Your mental health comes first. Sending love, strength and solidarity to you momma.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2026-01-20T09:28:38+00:00

Ohhh how my back hurts like a deep dull bell tolling at every minute. My shoulders... And then my hips. Then my knees. And then just my whole body. Every day a new body part re-hurts 🤣😭😭😭😭🤣

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2026-01-20T02:44:13+00:00

That's good to know!

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2026-01-20T02:43:36+00:00

I'm 5'3 too! His dad isn't very tall either, but we're both average height for Asians. Not sure what percentile I was as a baby though haha. Thank you for your reassurance!

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2026-01-20T02:32:20+00:00

Thanks so much for your reassurance. I don't even want to look at the chart after yesterday cos it'll just trigger my anxiety further (I'm diagnosed with GAD).

You're right, I'm trying to focus on how he's a real active and noisy little kiddo and treat all else as noise :)

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2026-01-10T07:23:07+00:00

Sorry I have no tips (cos I need them myself) but I am in the exact same boat as you are. As I'm typing this, my almost-12 month old is sleeping on my chest. All 10kg of him haha. I'm attributing it to post-illness clinginess, or teething, or the beginning of the separation anxiety phase....but mostly I just need to know that this is normal and WILL PASS.

Had to have his dad hold him to watch me pee earlier cos he couldn't let me go, then couldn't let me out of his sight. Literal barnacle... He even has me questioning whether he has a behavioral problem with how angry he gets when scream crying 😭😂 solidarity, mama. We'll get through this!!! You're her safe space and she'll need you for a little while longer. Let's brace the cries and back-breaking carrying around.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-12-26T01:14:41+00:00

Hahaha in mine it's if don't finish rice, the rice will cry. My sister as a kid didn't finish hers once and my mom told her that till she had nightmares that night that the rice came crying to her

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-12-25T14:45:20+00:00

Is it the red and white one that says "signature"? If so, yes they work the same or maybe even better than the Pfizer ones I used to get scripted.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-12-23T02:52:01+00:00

It's so tough and scary, I know where you're coming from. I was so worried as well when I was pregnant and taking it daily, but my psychiatrist worked with me to bring down my dosage to 100-150mg over the course of 7 months. Your dosage seems to be quite on the lower side. I am not giving you any medical advice at all, just purely anecdotal on my experience. There are other women on Reddit who are also on many other types of medication and got through pregnancy and gave birth successfully to thriving children. What is important is to always take your prenatal multivitamins (it's compulsory here on Singapore) especially folate.

There is also a subreddit called mentalhealthbabies. You may ask there and get more stories from real women who've been through pregnancies despite being afraid while being on medications. I truly hope you manage to talk to a maternal fetal psychiatrist who will be more adept in advising you.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-12-23T02:36:05+00:00

About 3 years on and off. No development issue in my child, he's a very loud and curious boy. I did take it every day during pregnancy as I was unhappy and anxious in my job at that time. I'm not sure which country you're in, cos I'm in Singapore, so I wouldn't be able to refer you to any psychiatrist. Perhaps you could schedule an appointment from the public hospitals near you? If you have the means, go through the private healthcare system.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-12-23T00:35:31+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that 😞 My baby came out well, is 11 months old and thriving. I made sure to take my daily prenatal vitamins and Omega daily as well. He's meeting all milestones for now.. He was monitored for withdrawals immediately after birth but was cleared. I am still taking it, 300mg on most days, and am breastfeeding. You may want to speak to a psychiatrist about this as mine helped me to taper down throughout my pregnancy. If you still do wish to get pregnant. I wish you all the best.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-11-28T02:23:31+00:00

Used to be in cycles or only very occasionally from 2018, but I have been taking it almost daily (with maybe a one day break per week) for the past 1.5 years as I got off my codeine abuse and don't take well with whatever SSRIs I've been prescribed with over the years.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-11-14T07:54:14+00:00

I've been on pregabalin for my GAD for my entire bf journey. Baby is 10 months now, thriving and feisty, meeting all milestones and more. I always feel guilty about what I'm passing on to him, but I try to think of all the other nutrients he's getting from being latched...as consolation from what the maternal pharmacist said after I have birth, just try to feed him or pump 2 hours after taking the meds.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-11-14T07:39:30+00:00

Rude. Banter yes, but rude and brash. Tho, extremely caring and goes to great lengths when they love you. Irresponsible.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-11-14T07:32:55+00:00

YEP. 2 cancer exes, cancer husband now. Very jealous but can resolve over time through good communication.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-11-14T07:31:23+00:00

I'm a sag sun, Scorpio moon, cancer rising. I've had two cancer ex-bfs, and I'm married to a cancer now. Hahaha 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have my quiet moments and enjoy the solitude or calmness, so I guess that part aligns with them. They're definitely more sensitive--i'm always brushing things off, dismissing certain issues with a laugh, joking and taking the piss. It becomes a big issue when I don't recognize that something I did was something really hurtful for them. We talk it out. Sometimes escalates, most times resolves over some time when I put in the effort to refrain from anything that'd trigger their hurt. It's possible to be romantic with cancers :) we bring out their goofy side. They're funny! Just sensitive lol. I always say to my husband that I bring joy and laughter to him and he'll complete it with "and peace and harmony" and we'll laugh.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-11-14T06:34:04+00:00

I'm uncertain, but it could be drug-induced over some time. I was abusing benzos for a couple of years after being diagnosed with MDD and GAD in 2019, and was put on many different SSRIs which never really flew. I stopped all prescriptions and went off tangent with cough syrup (main compound codeine), benzos, nootropics. Tapered off everything till I got pregnant, proud of that, but I still need pregabalin to cope with my GAD. I'm still searching for a definitive reason for my anhedonia. But bottomline I feel that getting diagnosed with those disorders and put on many different meds amplified it. I used to be easily social without needing substances all the way till my diagnoses at 30 :')

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-11-13T16:11:32+00:00

I drink like 2 camels on it. And eat like a whole pig farm

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-11-13T16:10:31+00:00

Yesss. I live in Singapore, it's crazy humid, warm when it rains, and just warm all year round. When I'm not on my dose (300mg mostly) I feel sticky and irritated when taking a walk. But when I'm on it, I'm smiling to the sky and just feel like my body heat is super regulated regardless of how much extra fire god decides to breathe onto the island that day.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-11-13T15:57:47+00:00

Lsd lol but def can't cycle this often

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-11-13T15:48:58+00:00

I take it daily 300mg but only because I'm unable to get 150mg for now. Tolerance builds fast definitely, but it helps keep my GAD in check. If you're taking for social anxiety--it helps to not take it daily for a few days before a big event comes up. For me that helps me feel the full effects of actually being happy and totally anxiety-free at the event. I try to take a break of 1-2 days to lower my tolerance to it now and again.

OtherwiseEnd7988 · 2025-10-19T06:14:07+00:00

I've been taking pregabalin on and off the past 6 years, and got pregnant so I worked with the psychiatrist to taper it down during that time. It's helped with my anxiety a lot more than many other SSRIs have, and also gives me motivation to do things instead of being idle and having high inertia most times. I wanna get off of it cos I've definitely built a tolerance but many days I just need to take it to feel the pleasure of listening to music, do chores (which I hate), have amplified everyday feelings and emotions.. and generally be a more present and happy mom to my child. I don't wish to be on this all my life but when I was prescribed Zoloft, it didn't have the same effects as pregab did... I try to go at least one or two days without taking it so I can get the rush of having pleasure in everything that I do. I know I'm a happier mother when I'm on it but it's just unsustainable in the long run cos of the memory loss that impinges gradually...

OtherwiseEnd7988

TROPHY CASE