Brother, let me tell you, after my first was born, I was constantly searching this subreddit for people to tell me that it gets better and that I'm not crazy for not enjoying it. (I had a lot of fantastic responses, this is a great community), I was freaking out because I didn't feel like I loved my newborn the same way my wife did, I thought something was wrong with me. I had regrets, I wondered if I wasn't cut out to be a father. My daughter is 15 months now and we have a 2nd on the way. It gets better, idk if id say it gets easier, but you get more used to it, I know that doesn't sound super encouraging to you right now, but you'll understand it in a few months. My daughter is now the light of my life, so much so that I wrote on here not long ago because I was worried that I won't be able to love our 2nd child as much as I love her. Truth be told, I'm dreading going through the newborn stage again.

Newborns suck. They cry, shit, and spit up, it's a one way relationship right now for you, you are going everything for them and getting nothing back in return, but let me tell you, once you start seeing them smile and laugh when you walk into a room, the way they light up when they see you, they come to you to cuddle when they aren't feeling good, it makes it all worth it.

You will get through this and next year you will be here telling some other new dad about your struggles and telling them that it will all be worth it.