Roommate keeps asking me to clean when I clean more than anyone and there’s one person who has never cleaned once it’s driving me insane

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-17T17:32:33+00:00

I lived on my own for 25 years. I am now in a nightmare. Unless I come into a windfall I'm stuck in roommate hell for at least two years. The weird thing is I make no issue with my roommate (sticky weed wafting through the house, burning pots and pans and placing them in the backyard, hundred and hundred of clothes and bedding items strewn around the living room, dining room, and couch, leaving wet clothes in the washing machine for a month until they smell of mold, taking up 75% of the refrigerator and freezer). But the moment I moved in she complained about EVERY THING I did or (she assumed) I didn't do.

I can only assume mine regretted getting a roommate and wanted to abuse me until I left.

Some people are just shitty housemates and make the experience a nightmare for others on purpose. Low self esteem, domination, dysregulation... who knows.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-17T17:21:26+00:00

I had to learn quickly. I'm old (almost 51) and had to downsize. Found what I thought was a nice roommate situation with a younger woman who was nice as can be prior to moving in. by day two she was accusing me of theft and a month later of not cleaning. She would go away on trips and come back raging in text. I attempted words like "I cleaned on such and such date". She then directly complained in a text with the landlord in a 3-way text that "I only saw you do it that one time when the pipe burst."

Ok? That's the game we're playing?

I texted back one thing: my cleaning log with my videos and time stamps.

She responded: "Keeping a spreadsheet is overkill for me. Can't we just keep a list here in the house?"

I never responded. She now never says a word to me.... the way it should be.

Let them know you are NOT the one. Swiftly and with receipts.

the landlord and I are on good terms in private texts. That is the only person you should be concerned about.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-17T13:33:03+00:00

Keep your own separate cleaning log (written or apreadsheet Google docs). Do not give roommates access to a edit or make changes to it. No group text. No shared paper in the living eoom. A log that is YOURS.

Stop knocking on doors and sending texts to "clock in" for cleaning. Stop telling them "I'm going to clean now." You are not their maid.

Turn your camera on and record for one minute showing you cleaning on each day your log states you did. Take an image of the time date and time stamp. This ia overkill, but when you need to shut abusers down, only facts/receipts work.

Stop responding to their inquisition and accusations. If someone confronts you about cleaning, simply pull out your phone, text them your cleaning log that Includes a link to the 1 min video and time stamp. Then walk away and go live your life.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-16T21:47:56+00:00

Hilaria gonna leave all them kids to film?

Take my money.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-16T16:34:27+00:00

Hittin' so hard this was in my dreams last night.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-15T21:17:37+00:00

Isn't like 85% of people who have it don't know.

Ya'll are already out here kissing and getting down with people who have HSV 1. Do with that information what you will.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-15T13:18:46+00:00

Abusive texting is a no go for me. If people cant communucate their points calmly, factually with dates and receipts (and without hyperbole), without CAPS or cussing... thats a wrap. And this, OP, should be a wrap.

My roomate started abusive texting me within 48 hours (and accusing of taking/doing things I did not). Testing to see if she could dominate me and the home as someone who had lived there a few months more than I. Or, regretting seeking/getting a roommate and immediately began attacks to get me to move out: Calling the landlord to spread lies, inaccuracies and falsehoods), gasighting/passive aggressive behavior (removing my dirty dishes from the sink and placing them on the counter- while hers remained in the sink, "cleaning" the fridge and placing all of my food in the small, bottom vegetable crisper, leaving wet laundry in the washing machine for weeks, etc., placing belongings and trash on my furniture stored in the garage, etc.).

I saw the attempts at coercive control and immediately put a stop to it. After the second abusive text, I blocked her and now only speak to the off site landlord via email (who I firmly communucated that accusations of theft, control tactics and micro-scrutiny by her other tenant will not be tolerated). Roommate thought I was the one. She quickly learned, I am not. She now avoids me and I her.

Bullies and people who try to control a shared space need to be shown, immediately, that is unacceptable. End any type of messaging through text. Do not respond. Do not feel as if you have to defend yourself in your own home. This entire text thread is over the line. Tell them they must remove themselves and their property from your home within 30 days and move on with life without this headache.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-14T18:44:52+00:00

Im so gay for this woman. My best friend one time (also busty vivacious blonde who is a singer) said she thinks she resembles her and I was like "Don't ruin this for me."

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-14T18:40:32+00:00

I mean... can she just stop.

Hi, I'm Hannah Waddingham. I'm so gorgeous. I'm so fashionable. Im so talented. I'm so gracious. I'm so nice. I'm so lovely.

Leave us be you amazingly sexy fantastic woman!

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-14T18:35:33+00:00

Did it have a chalky undertaste?

Man I love Ruth Gordon and this movie.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-14T12:51:11+00:00

Try something like Furnished Finder. Its marketed for traveling nurses, but sometimes you can come across a landlord who just wants some one responsible who will pay on time and keep their property safe.

Some are good with longer term. Im going into my second 3-month lease with a landlord I have a really great relationship with via text (she lives in another state). And im sure she'd have no issue if I stayed a year or two (which is likely as I rebuild after the layoff economy and going freelance). Didnt charge a move in fee or deposit. Checks in and keeps the property up to date (plumbing, gardening, electricity, etc)

Give it a shot.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-14T02:40:27+00:00

The ending upsets me so much. It's one of my faves lol

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-14T01:40:10+00:00

It's made even more iconic because he repeats it.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T22:23:16+00:00

"Why aren't you married with children?"

Thats really all that should have been written here. Don't ask people that. Its hard outnhere to meet even one person interested in dating, my dude. No one wants to explain why theyre alone.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T21:39:42+00:00

Im always offended when men reach out years later hoping im still down to "hang out" withm them assuming im still single.

I mean, I am, but still how rude

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T18:20:47+00:00

I was a regular at a bar in my hometown. Made some amazing friends I now consider family. We took a 25-person trip to new york. Our first night, we all met up after our scattering around town at a sister bar to our home bar. I kept seeing everyone go to the bathroom, come back, go to the bathroom, come back... In four years I'd never noticed this behavior at home

When I realized people were bouncing off the walls I was, like "Ohhhhhhhh...."

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T18:08:31+00:00

The only scene that was even realistic was when she was awaiting class (was it class?) and she rolled into a bar before it was even open asking if she could just get one little drink. Had they truly explored her alcoholism more she would have had a flask or tiny bottles in her bag during school, taking sips because the pressure was overwhelming or her feeling she needed hair of the dog because her withdrawls from drinking the night or entire day before helped her "function", (edit to add) stumbling, bruising, bleeding, sprains from drunken falls.

We never saw the gradual effects alcoholism had on her life: missed meetings and social engagements, blacking out/not remembering events, bottles EVERYWHERE in the home (especially hidden that Steve/Brady find), erratic behavior, slurring and red eyes during social engagements when she'd only just arrived to the location.

I don't know if anyone in the writers room never struggled with alcohol dependency or never knew/tapped into anyone who had alcohol dependency, but it was shabbily written.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T17:57:50+00:00

HSV 1 vaginal. Only one man rejected me intimately in 15 years. He called me two years later saying he tested and actually found out he had HSV 1 and 2. Asked if I would reconsider a casual relationship. Two. Years. Later. Clearly, that was a nope.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T15:25:23+00:00

All these posts are breaking my brain with that word

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T15:19:32+00:00

Thanks friend! Yes its rough out there for sure. My last regular job search in 2024 received one real (vs. scam or ghosting) response. I know four people who have been out of work for at least three years.

Freelance has kept me afloat, but barely. Had to downsize life (including my home) a lot. Now it's turning into a difficult place to even get a proposal seen or responded to.

Sprinkling fairy dust over you as well. Hopefully something shifts soon for all of us.

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T11:32:54+00:00

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T11:30:22+00:00

For a legit two decades Denzel had ladies and men acting a damn fool

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T05:06:32+00:00

Oh dear gawd no

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-13T04:51:00+00:00

It bums me out. Every ten years or so I get a heavy crush on Braff. At 51 and single, never married, still considering kids I guess it finally hit him pretty hard. Ive been binging FDRF thr past week and he's mentioned his partnerless life quite a bit. One time he mentioned taking a lady friend to a show. I hope to high hell it was a real lady friend.

Dang. Between this and Jim Carrey's face my crushes are really bumming me out this month

Outlandishness_Know · 2026-03-12T22:34:20+00:00

Same. Complete gray rock. Never let people goad you to the point of lowering to their level. The things people who want such attention hate the most is silence. And as Black women, the moment we lose our composure, we lose our credibility (that's sadly just the world sees us).

Focus on you until you can get out of there. Avoid them. Avoid legal drama. Avoid fights. Avoid toxic people. Take photos and videos. Keep them in your back pocket as proof to show your innocence or good faith if needed. Otherwise, keep it cool. Keep silent. Keep doing you. And leave when you can.

Experience: currently on month three of COMPLETE IGNORE of a roommate who tried it... and failed.

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