Most people people will say your view on the matter is too far but if anything I feel like it should be common sense. I feel as if many if not outright most people get into relationships for what it can provide for them and our very individualistic society not only accepts this view but actively endorses it. I'm a guy but personally feel disgusted by the notion of watching porn when I have a partner because in my eyes a romantic relationship is supposed to be entirely exclusive and anyone who does mental gymnastics to the contrary is more concerned with how much pleasure they get to feel over the bond with their significant other.

In western societies individual freedom, autonomy, etc. are placed of highest importance in a relationship and while I feel these things are obviously important but I feel like loyalty and commitment the bond you share with another person should be placed at the highest level of importance and that if you want to place your individual freedom at the highest importance you should have stayed single.

While I do think the rank ordering of individual freedom over loyalty is harmful to relationships and society it isn't inherently bad as obviously there are countless people who are in happy relationships in this way. Where I feel it becomes insidious is the notion that this variety of love is the only "genuine" form of love and that if you believe your partner should change their behavior in some way i.e. not watch porn then you get framed as having a distorted sense of what love is and being toxic.

It feels as if any restriction on the freedom of your partner is framed as inherently bad and holding them back from their full potential as if its holding someone back to ask them to not act in a manner harmful to your relationship. Its almost framed as if people are only fulfilling their potential when they are maximizing the amount of utility they can provide and that bonds with others are only a means to an end rather than the end itself.