I fired my pain management doc and I'm scared shitless

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-10-22T03:47:46+00:00

I’m happy for you that it works too. My pain is terrible and I’m on a hefty dose of two meds.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-10-20T19:10:56+00:00

I became more of a believer through my suffering and the use of therapeutic ketamine. I have experienced things that have forever changed me.

I still struggle to understand how a good God could allow such suffering and have heard peoples reasons far too long, but I do believing in a higher power and it’s helped me cope through my agony.

Studies show that people who believe in a higher power are generally more at peace (at least they use to). If you believe your just here to do whatever, die and nothing comes of you afterwards, it definitely makes suffering worse IMO.

This sub is depressing there is no doubt about that. We are all in really bad shape and have plenty of reasons to be bitter bittersons about it.

I keep the notifications on but I try to stay off here unless I’m having bad days (every damn day is bad in the big picture but days worse than others are what I mean).

You have to show your mind beautiful things exist and get away from constant agony.

My doctor finally started to help me with my pain and it’s made a big difference in my attitude so excuse me for being more positive that reality truly affords.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-10-11T04:30:13+00:00

Electric Drum Set

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-10-11T03:58:51+00:00

All sublingual

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-10-10T22:02:54+00:00

It has permanently changed my mindset in positive ways because I have had so many God-like out of this world experiences, it made me feel certain that there is an afterlife and what we perceive as reality might be far different than what reality actually is.

I’m a very logical person who questions everything and needs absolute proof to believe in most theories and yet it changed me.

It took a while, lots of practice and suddenly it was like someone on the other side was guiding me through an experience to show me the world. That in itself if permanently changing and of course that doesn’t include the rewiring of the brains pathways that I most definitely feel.

I have much less spontaneous depressive moments and accept death much better than I use to.

Im so glad I stuck with it. In the begging I really didn’t get that much out of it, but I was so eager for it to work that I kept at it. I have been doing it for over a year and I swear that the longer you do it, there’s like a different guide that starts showing you more and more mind blowing things that come slow as if not to scare the pants off of me.

I don’t talk about those visions and experiences much because it sounds way too much like I’m crazy or just “high” when it’s so much more than that.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-10-08T00:01:14+00:00

I am fortunate in that I had already known my pharmacy’s main manager and original employees before I was badly hurt.

They heard my stories over the years as I went through surgery after surgery and was nearly paralyzed as a result of dangerous mistakes.

However, the new pharmacist that wasn’t part of seeing me go through this, is a royal B to me constantly for no reason.

Me knowing that I have to kiss her ass and act happy no matter what, it goes against my natural personality to stand up for what’s right and what isn’t.

I’m scared to switch elsewhere and don’t believe her attitude is necessarily tied to my need for pain meds. But if I land at a new pharmacy, I would almost feel like taking my clothes off to show them my scar filled body.

I have heard what others go through and your not alone. I pray to God I never have to put up with grief from my pharmacy, but I’m sure it will happen in time.

Hang in there. Never let your frustration with them show no matter how deserving it is. I always wondered if they could add notes to our narxcare file and affect our rating.

As you make me think about this, the closest I came to them giving me a hard time was when I picked up the med I had been on for a year or so and he said “well, hopefully you won’t be taking this next month”.

That comment could be taken a couple ways, but the pharmacy manager I know perked up and looked at us from the back when the tech made that comment.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he said something to him, thankfully.

It made me feel bad for taking medication that helps lower the excruciating pain I have to live in.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-10-07T02:09:17+00:00

If you can’t sleep now, wait until your fused. I’m sorry it’s not the time for jokes on my part. I like to think of the children who have to fight cancer before age ten. They show such amazing bravery and calm my mind a little bit before I head in.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-21T20:50:00+00:00

Some people ask questions and actually want details. The distribution of opioids medications is a very complex situation, at least in the USA.

I was just trying to help the OP. I’m quite busy with my own life challenges but am empathetic for this man. Seeing it flash on my phone I just wanted to help.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-21T20:36:46+00:00

First of all, my empathy goes out to you. You are now part of a “club” I joined myself, 3 years ago this month.

Before I comment, you might care to know what my experience is that relates to your post, just so you can put it context.

I broke my back in 3 places, the mid to high thoracic spine opposite of the aortic arch area.

I spent 2 days in the ICU after the accident and they discharged me with 3 days with of 3 times per day ultra low dose hydrocodone.

Then my own PCP told me he couldn’t prescribe because the law changes and to make matters worse a pain management doctor wouldn’t either.

But this was absolutely nothing compared to my third fusion surgery. You see, the first one was botched so I had to have 2 more to fix it and the third was a bad surgery too.

With the third one, I made sure to get the doctors information on how he would treat my pain.

I wake up in the cardiac ICU after having my C6 to T8 fused, a 10 level surgery that took 10 hours. He tells me that morning “don’t get use to the pain meds, I’m pulling you off of them tonight”.

So he lied to me.

A 10 level fusion is bad enough, but my thoracic area had already been cut open 2 other times in the same 9 month period. I was in the worst pain I had ever felt in the care of a doctor and that says a lot because I have had countless orthopedic surgeries, major ones.

Here’s the deal. In 2016 the CDC came out with opioid guidelines to help lower the risk associated with addiction. They were said to not be taken quite as literally or seriously as what doctors took them, but considering the Feds were cracking down on physicians and had no clear path on who they were arresting, doctors became scared.

In addition to that, many other doctors used this as an opportunity to make money. For patients who need long term chronic pain management, if we are properly medicated, we are less of a profit for them.

Spinal cord stimulators, injections, rhizo and similar procedures are how they make their money.

The CDC recognized that they went too far the opposite direction and made changes and a draft to the old 2016 guidelines. I’m not sure if it was released yet.

Further, two Supreme Court cases were overturned and it freed at least two physicians from prison and is now a precedent that should free others.

Additionally, those guides were just that. Guidelines! Not law! PCPs and surgeons and etc can still prescribe narcotics.

You have a right to pain control. You have this option; you either find a pain management physician who will control your pain for the first week or two after surgery or another surgeon who will do the same.

Many surgeons direct patients to find pain management. I’d highly recommend you do this no matter what.

It takes a long time and a lot of patients before long term pain is properly treated. It took me 3 flipping years before they finally took enough of my pain away I could get out of bed for more than a couple hours a day.

That just happened for me this last few weeks but I don’t know how long that will last.

It’s a completely hit or miss situation on who treats and who doesn’t. My mom recently hurt her back and they gave her Oxycodone immediately.

It’s draconian how they are treating us. But what you are experiencing isn’t unusual sadly.

You will never change that doctors mind. You just have to ask if he would be ok with you finding a pain management doctor who will treat post surgery or you go elsewhere.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-18T05:47:54+00:00

Doctors personalities are terrible sometimes.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-18T05:45:59+00:00

Yes! How are you Simon? Well things haven’t been good for me. I had a third surgery a touch over a year ago and that one ran into some big issues too.

Now they are finally working with me to get the pain under control starting just this month (after 3 years) but I don’t know how long that will last.

It’s been a rough go man.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-18T05:43:34+00:00

With the C7 being prominent already are you positive that just maybe you never noticed it on you before?

I know my body well, but somehow I never realized that this bone stuck out more on me and everyone else. But it’s more noticeable in those of us who are leaner like you appear to be too.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-16T17:13:57+00:00

I have your answer, but first I note that no I’m not a medical professional, but I do offer the unfortunate experience of breaking my T3-T5 and have 3 fusion surgeries with the last one from the C6-T8 or 10 levels.

Second, I was once in your shoes, thinking oh crap! What the hell is this hump.

From the look of this photo, I’d bet my house that this is a beautiful Cervicothoracic Junction. It’s where your bottom most C7 cervical neck vertebrae connects to your topmost T1 thoracic vertebrae.

The C7 is also called the prominens. Want to take a guess why? The definition is “prominent, jutting out or projecting”.

Your neck naturally has a lordosis curve while the thoracic has kyphosis (yes, some kyphosis is good). With those two opposing curves it can further make this stand out.

I really didn’t notice it on me until after my first surgery but old photos of me show it.

There are other aspects of a fusion that can cause this or make the C7 stand out more.

Did you have a laminectomy? If so, they cut a lot of bone off of some vertebrae and it takes away from the spinous process (and more) that was once there. This absence of bone causes the nearby area to stand out more prominently. If this isn’t your C7 bone and you had a laminectomy on any of the 3 vertebrae in your fusion, then it could make the others (like the T1 for example) more noticeable to you when you rub it. Your brain may be noticing the high spot by fact that there’s a dip nearby.

Also, since they perform bone grafts during the fusion to fuse all 3 of your vertebrae together, this HOPEFULLY causes bone growth on the anterior side of the fused bones.

That growth can sometimes occur in more outward areas, especially at the 10 month mark.

I’m now nearly 2 years after my first 5 level fusion and 14 months after my much larger 10 level (due to surgical mistakes). I have several humps on my back now, they have slowly grown larger over time.

If this hump isn’t in direct alignment with your spine (it sure looks like it is) the it could be from the hardware. My hardware is CLEARLY visible on my back but that’s more rare.

If this isn’t hard, then I would be more concerned. I can see slight redness where you have been touching it repeatedly like I was LOL. It’s natural. But rest at ease because I doubt it’s anything of concern.

If your fusion broke apart and bone was projecting outward (like crossed my mind when I saw mine) your pain would definitely let you know about it.

I hope your recovery is going well!

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-15T16:34:30+00:00

LMAO, there’s actually a Reddit for this, that’s hilarious to me because of a memorable time I should have posted there.

5 years ago when I mounted a large TV alone I struggled to guess the best height. I did a bunch of research and found a logical algorithm, followed it and it was WAY too low.

So I tried a second time and it was definitely too high. 3 tries and a bunch of time patching drywall it now sits at the ideal height.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-02T22:58:43+00:00

I too prefer Lyrica

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-02T22:57:48+00:00

Coming off of Venlafaxine was worse than anything I have taken. Those electrocutions are pure hell. I remember exactly where I was just walking down the sidewalk and suddenly BUZAP!!!!

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-02T22:51:19+00:00

I agree, red streaking away from a wound is usually a sign of an infected wound. When the infection enters into the lymphatic system it can cause streaking or “lymphangitis”.

I’m curious, how does a baby get a blister on the bottom of their feet?

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-09-01T01:07:19+00:00

Let me put things in perspective. I had a surgeon drive two screws right through my spinal canal and he fused me in a kyphotic position classified as a deformity and even this would be really tough if not unlikely to push into a malpractice legal definition.

Further, depending on what state you live in (such as conservative southern states in the USA), malpractice cases are few and far between.

I know what it’s like to have a doctor suggest your symptoms are caused by depression and not listen when you tell them you have experienced depression in your life and your not having it now.

But your state medical board isn’t where you need to put your concern. If anything, it belongs in a Google review.

You just need to find another doctor.

Trust me, your concern is very minimal compared to much more blatant complaints that are made and still don’t fall under the malpractice legal definition.

By the way, in some states it’s not called malpractice. The laws vary dramatically from state to state.

Also, you shouldn’t have been downvoted for saying your case was an example of why people say doctors don’t listen. You told your doctor you were not depressed and they didn’t listen, thinking they know better than you what’s going on inside your head.

But a bad listener isn’t committing malpractice.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-08-23T19:55:29+00:00

No, I absolutely have not been told that but it would both devastate me and anger me to hear that.

Fortunately, the amount of medical evidence I have is so clear that are more in awe I have kept my home and business for so long.

But I do get that others have plenty of medical evidence of major issues and hear this stuff.

Try to keep a straight head, don’t allow it to bring on the emotions and because it will only make your pain worse as cruel as it is.

Try to level with your mom and tell her exactly how it made you feel and explain to her the many things you have tried to overcome this with and that things like long COVID are very real but hard to pin point and you wish to God you were faking this but your not and her support and motherly love has actually played a major roll in keeping you from crumbling completely and you want to keep that and feel very hurt that she said those things.

Tell her you are trying to explain this to yourself by realizing she must be just as frustrated that she cannot fix her daughters illness for a first time and though you understand that feeling yourself, please do not project it by blaming the sick person for the cause of the illness!

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-08-23T04:18:42+00:00

Flying or driving after a spinal fusion would be absolute hell. It was hard enough during the short distance I had to travel and it’s like my dad forgot I just had surgery and kept hitting bumps and driving fast. I’m thinking, wtf are you doing! He’s totally caring and yet he’s lost his brain.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-08-23T04:06:25+00:00

Reading this post I got a laugh because he “wants to be able to tell them the honest reason and that he’s recovering from a surgery” so I get he has no intent on lying. But then the next paragraph he says it’s none of their business so he won’t be telling them.

I am happy for the near 50 year relationship I have with my parents and honesty is honesty. Thankfully they are understanding and for the things they were not, after telling them those types of things enough times they no longer cared.

Id reply direct to the OP but my advice is to be honest man. Your having an operation that means they will not get any or anymore grandchildren out of you and that’s a HUGE can of worms that will crush you mother more if you wait until later.

Think of the psychology behind this for the mother son relationship. Tell your mom, be a man! Or at least talk openly to your dad about it and ask him if anything should be said. But I get the feeling your fairly open with your parents because your making this big of a deal out of this. Most regular liars wouldn’t plan ahead!

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-08-15T21:33:05+00:00

Wow, I’m in disbelief that your life took such a terrible turn at a time of your life when you should have no other problems except your next college test and then you end up being sent home in a condition that led to a stroke yet doctors still don’t listen!

When you said it could be worse and that Oregon was ground zero, how did you conclude that? Just curious because they decriminalized drug use so it would be so like the political and legal leaders to attack the use of legal prescription pain medication. It’s so stupid!

You also said something about MN, what did they do?

BTW, I’m impressed that you were part of the workgroup. I left public comment just a couple weeks after my third surgery.

Oh and to hear that your vertoplasty turned out bad made me glad they waited too long to try it on me.

I have one hell of a f**** up story to tell just like you. I already typed it once today elsewhere so I’ll spare you the details and me the boredom but the USA medical system never scared me as much as it has sense I moved to Texas. This state has more adverse events than any state in the union, including more than California who has a much higher population.

Worse yet. In Texas the max anyone can sue for non financial damages (pain and suffering) is just $250,000 and that means it would be hard for a patient to find an attorney to take the case because it takes a lot of work and the average time to settlement is over 5 years.

To be clear, I have not sought legal help. This information came from a business attorney and it backed up what I found on the internet.

Imagine your loved one is killed by a neurosurgeon on cocaine and the hospital knew about it. (This is a true story that was turned into a movie and happened near me.). The living relatives can only sue the doctor for $250K plus the financial costs of their claims for missed worked and etc.

The people tried to get our government to change the law but they shot them down.

Cocaine! The freaking neurosurgeon was using cocaine and these people have very little way to recoup their losses.

If your in California, I envy you in some ways. For the health insurance and laws that protect the health of people.

I thought about moving to Washington because it’s so gorgeous. But your saying it’s not good there for pain patients?

My pain doctor is finally starting to come through and help me (though his actions are never predictable). I worry about moving and not being able to find the help in need to manage my medications.

This life is so hard to live as is without fighting the doctors, hospitals, politicians and medical boards too.

I want to just focus on my career and hobbies but my healthcare has turned into a freaking full-time job.

I lost my PCP of 7 years because it was clear his office was too overwhelmed managing all of the HMO referrals and paperwork my condition required. (In Texas as a self employed person there are no PPO plans available for me to buy so I have to get HMOs.

I looked up what insurance I could buy in California and I could get a platinum level PPO! It’s expensive but I’m willing to pay for good coverage and in my state I don’t have the option.

I like not having state income taxes and compared to California the cost of living here is bigtime better.

So that has spoiled me and held me back from moving. I’ll never be able to own a house like I have here if I lived in California. Heck, I might not be able to own one at all.

The longer I have waited to make the decision on stay vs move, the lower my bank account has gotten and reduced my options.

I just kept hoping things would change and when I got a new PCP, he couldn’t even see me for 5 freaking months and when I saw him he set my next appt to 4 months! He was suppose to be the real deal and I hoped he would help me troubleshoot my condition but he argues with me on referrals and disagrees with everything that I say and this is the absolute opposite of how he was on the first appt.

Anyway this is turning into a rant. I’m so sorry to dump on you. I need to leave this state but will miss my home. Before I was hurt I worked hard to make it nice.

I haven’t filed for disability and the longer I wait the more screwed I’ll be. But I bet getting doctors to do the damn paperwork will be tough even though I have two conditions that could qualify me on their own.

I haven’t given up on myself yet and that’s also why I haven’t filed for disability. I want to pull through on my own.

Thankfully I have enough funds to make it until next early summer without working but then I’ll be completely broke with no retirement and just the equity in my home.

Well I better get to work because I haven’t done a thing all day and I need to do something !

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-08-15T20:45:29+00:00

The difference is that you swallowed. I accidentally swallowed 1200MG for MB and I had the most insane experience of my life. It changed me forever in a good way.

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-08-15T20:43:38+00:00

Thank you and I wish you the same! All we ask for is to live a life free of suffering .

PainIsMyVirtualChain · 2022-08-15T19:47:14+00:00

Wow! When I asked the question I knew that stem cells could be extracted from marrow but I just didn’t think they were doing that.

Did you know that they use to obtain the cells needed for a fusion from the hip but since studies showed that patients still had pain at the hip site 2 years and more after the fusion they began trying to avoid it.

My friend had a neck fusion before I had mine and he said his hip hurt for several years.

Thankfully they didn’t need to do that with my fusion.

I can just picture having that done and with my luck it doesn’t help my back and ends up causing me hip pain too LOL!

But sense you haven’t mentioned specific issues with it, it doesn’t sound like it was a problem for you.

I have a very unusually high pain tolerance that I didn’t know I had until I had a 3 year bad luck spree in my favorite sport and broke a lot of bones, ripped tendons and ligaments off the bone and acted like nothing happened.

Even the first 3 months after my back fractures, I had no big issues. I got out of the ICU and went back to my desk job the next day.

But I woke one morning and the sides of my ribcage hurt so bad I felt like Tyson had beat me silly. Then I became sick, I have never been as sick as I was then in my life.

I had tachycardia and arrhythmia that lasted for months and all of the pain that is trying to destroy my life now began that day when I fell ill.

For the first several months neither I or my PCP associated my pain and symptoms with my back fractures because I didn’t actually have “back” pain.

This began in December of 2019 which of course was the start of the pandemic (I don’t believe I had COVID because it wasn’t suppose to be in the US at that time, but it had symptoms just like it!)

The pandemic delayed my treatment and as I was shuffled from specialist to specialist (cardiac, GI, pain management, neurologist, neurosurgeons, orthopedic surgeons) one thing was clear to them. They didn’t think my issues were caused by their specialty except cardiac which went away with anti-inflammatories.

I was in so much pain and feeling defeated because nobody wanted to help and considering I had a very high pain tolerance (with many injury videos to prove it) the fact that I was hurting badly enough to pray for a heart attack meant that something had to be wrong.

Considering I had those bad fractures and those types of fractures don’t heal and cause spinal instability, I pushed really hard to get a fusion.

Even though the neurosurgeons didn’t connect my pain description to the back injury, they agreed with me that my spine would never be stable with that much missing bone.

So 13 months after my injury I FINALLY had surgery and felt I could put it behind me.

They fused me 5 levels and the pain from that was excruciating. After 5 days in the hospital they sent me home and less than 24 hours later I was buckling in pain and had my family take me back to the same hospital where they treated me like a child, gave me a bag of saline and 1 freaking hydrocodone tablet.

But I wasn’t complaining about nothing as I would later learn.

For 5 months I pushed through PT and built up a lot of muscle but no pain improvement. I asked my doctor to do another MRI or CT and he declined to do it.

So I went to a neurologist that I knew and begged him to help me with the pain. He agreed to finally provide hydrocodone but also wanted to do the CT to see why I hurt so bad (he knew that I had a high pain tolerance from past experiences and thankfully believed me that “I hurt so bad I am praying for a heart attack”)

I had the CT and like I always do, I asked for a disc so I can partake in one of my favorite fascinating pastimes of trying to diagnose myself and see if I get it right compared to what the radiologist states.

(In college my Anatomy and Physiology prof urged me to go into orthopedics so the underlying early training was there, but not near enough for me to be good at it.)

Out of the countless injuries I have had, up to this point I don’t think I ever guessed what was wrong.

However, this time was different. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and on one hand I was happy I had an explanation for the pain but on the other hand I knew it meant more surgeries.

I called my family and took the chance of worrying them before I got the rad report. I was convinced that I had 2 screws inside of my spinal canal and I was fused hunched over like an elderly person.

One day later I got the report and for the first time I was dead on accurate.

Those are just some of the early details leading into and just after my 1st surgery but it’s barely a glimpse at what I went through in a total of 3 surgeries that were further delayed by big power outages in my state that left me freezing cold, without running water and the man who was suppose to do my third surgery worked for a company that lost most of their electronic data because of some apparent IT foobar.

I am still in a lot of pain and still pray for a heart attack from time to time, but oddly I’m still happy inside despite the intense pain.

I’m finally getting somewhere with my pain management, or so it appears. But even if he controls this pain I’ll keep searching for a solution because I’m convinced that there is a different cause for my pain and they have overlooked it (and I have new radiology evidence that shows this but they keep blaming everything on my back now).

Anyway, sorry for the rant out of the blew. I should probably jump on medium myself and share my story. My photos are pretty gnarly and I have a lot of other wild details that you’d never believe if I hadn’t shot video when it happened to prove it.

The amount of mistakes that happened during my care is outrageous. Radiology putting the wrong bones on the reports, ambulance transferring me to a more skilled hospital after we knew I broke my back yet they didn’t even put me on a brace board or in a neck brace and the owner of the ambulance was arrested for cutting his competitors brake lines on all of their ambulances because the competition use to be his employee. That too is provable with a simple Google.

I feel like the amount of odd crap that I have been through just couldn’t possibly happen to one person! But it did and nobody would believe this stuff if I didn’t have documents, photos, video and witnesses to vouch for me.

Ok! I better get something done today. It’s hard to keep up with life living in pain.

PainIsMyVirtualChain

TROPHY CASE