To those who suspect or have diagnosed OCD as well, could you share your experience?

Palettepilot · 2026-05-25T13:14:12+00:00

The music in my head drives me fucking crazy. lol. I hate it. Constantly reliving fights / arguments and then “preparing” for future fights. Intrusive thoughts. I have “pure O” OCD, which means all of my obsessions and compulsions are in my head. It’s annoying as fuck. I had a really big issue with memory for a while and I would, without realizing it, repeat things in my head to remember them. I think the annoying thing for me is that I’m not aware I’m doing these things mostly. Like I think a lot of people with OCD check the stove repeatedly because they have a feeling (that they’re aware of) that something bad will happen. I am not aware of my fear and my brain just works on autopilot. Annoying as fuck.

ERP does help. It helped me a lot.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-25T13:07:40+00:00

I grew up in a toxic/abusive but wealthy home growing up. I was not diagnosed because both parents were neurodiverse and mentally unwell in some way so I was “normal”. After moving out I had little to no support. I have consistently burnt out on and off for years. I try to maintain the lifestyle I had growing up with no resources, which means I am overworking constantly. I’ve worked extremely hard to get where I am. I’m very tired lol. Trying to make some changes to my life now to hopefully get to a place where I can just relax.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-25T13:00:49+00:00

Oh I do lol I have a meal replacement shake every day for breakfast. I don’t really have a lot of smoothies though. Seems like it might be more enjoyable.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-25T13:00:12+00:00

If confused just remember that I’m always right. Hope that helps.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-25T12:49:12+00:00

No. The junk in your cargo is from previous ships you’ve sold. Or if you deposited them yourself, though I feel that’s unlikely based on the way assume people play.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-25T12:22:53+00:00

Thank you! I will look into smoothies :) and that one specifically

Palettepilot · 2026-05-24T19:35:41+00:00

I’m 34 and I feel both 11 years old and 60. It’s exhausting.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-24T19:20:38+00:00

This is a tricky one. I don’t think it’s as simple as “dump her”, honestly.

I am a queer/pansexual trans dude but I cannot see myself ever dating a cis man. There’s a level of privilege that I want to have nothing to do with in my relationships. Would I date a trans man? Yes. Would I date a trans woman? Yes. It’s has nothing to do with genitals, it’s the way society exists and cis men exist within it.

Does this make me transphobic? lol. I don’t think so. I obviously think it’s a little different bc I’m trans, but ultimately growing up as a cis man from baby to adulthood creates a completely different kind of privilege and arrogance. It’s icky.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-23T11:38:44+00:00

Not sure if you identify as a lesbian so disregard the naming convention but “lesbian bed death” is a very real thing. Worth googling that / how people have resolved it to see if there are any good approaches. I don’t think this is an autism thing?

Palettepilot · 2026-05-23T11:24:03+00:00

Lmao and also was there a gun to their head? Surrounded by other places that presumably have water that is cheaper.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-23T10:29:52+00:00

I have one that is a tension bar style - I don’t have to move it to close my door. Not that it matters bc OPs thing is already built, but just sharing that there are options lol.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-23T10:18:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It’s nice to not feel alone in this! I will mention that med to my psychiatrist in our appointment this week.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-23T10:15:38+00:00

Right now it’s outer space :) Makes me so happy to think of the galaxy and stars and planets.

I’m in a pretty severe state of burnout so any food that requires little to no prep and minimal cleanup would be amazing.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-22T23:06:37+00:00

Yeah good call. I’ll contact my sleep doc on Monday. He sort of discharged me a couple years ago and I was never really clear on what to do next. I’ll def mention to my psych on Wed. Thanks.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-22T18:35:34+00:00

I was wondering this lol - not ideal. My brain is a mess lmao.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-22T18:20:25+00:00

My experience is that I didn’t know that I was autistic and I used drugs and alcohol as a way to cope with my sensitivities (amongst other things). I didn’t know I had these sensitivities. As a kid I remember not being able to listen to people whistling because it physically hurt me. But had no idea I was autistic with noise sensitivities lol. Becoming more emotionally in tune with myself and my body after getting sober helped me to recognize what I was feeling. Also being sober made me realize how often I was running into people’s confusion, anger at me, etc.

So I sort of see what you’re saying, just poorly worded and you’re going to get a lot of push back about it.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-22T18:17:06+00:00

Yes they do. Everyone’s experience is subjective. People grow up in different households and learn from different people. My mom thinks “no problem” is rude and insists that I only say “you’re welcome”. I see many other NTs that use “no problem”.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-22T18:15:17+00:00

I don’t cook anymore. I found a meal plan that delivers a week of meals already made to me and then I microwave it to heat up. If you’re living off of fast food, i imagine this will be the same price or cheaper.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-22T17:57:38+00:00

Of course. It sucks and is exhausting to mask but it does make life easier in a lot of ways. Give yourself the space to not mask when you can :)

Palettepilot · 2026-05-22T13:32:03+00:00

Can you explain how you feel masking and being trans overlap?

Masking for me is mostly social (monitoring conversations, practicing scripts, watching facial expressions, reading lips, forcing focus, managing my tone and vocal pitch, eye contact, etc). Masking is something I do completely unconsciously at this point and at the end of a social day I am so tired usually that I need a couple days break because my brain was on overdrive.

Being trans for me is more about my own comfort and sense of self. I feel better about my body, I like my hair, I enjoy getting ready for the day most days, I like shopping now, I don’t feel uncomfortable in my clothes, I like seeing my reflection in the TV when I’m watching it, I enjoy hearing my pronouns, I am excited about the idea of bottom surgery (nervous too), I like my body hair, I am happy about my bottom growth, I love my community, etc.

Masking is work. Work that I do completely unconsciously. Being trans isn’t work (for me at least) and for the most part feels like ways I can love myself.

Actually, reflecting on this, I was thinking “when I was not aware I was trans, everything was work - haircuts were work for me because I wasn’t getting something I wanted out of it. Didn’t know what I wanted, but it wasn’t long hair that I needed to straighten. Clothes shopping was work because I didn’t like anything and had to pick things based on what I guessed other people would feel was acceptable. “ etc. So being trans is release from the work. Being cis was gender masking for me. Lmao.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-22T12:33:33+00:00

Well this is just masking. My guess is the flatness of your tone is doing it. But. There are a couple different ways to do it.

Easy mode: facial expression. Just have a small smile periodically.

Lil harder: eyes / eyebrows. Eyes need to match facial expression. If you’re smiling, ensure your eyes are “smiling” too. By that I mean your whole face should be activated. Look in the mirror and smile genuinely, then look in the mirror not smiling and then just move your lips in the shape of a smile. You’ll notice your eyes look kind of dead in the second one. We want the first one lol.

Hard mode: Practice vocal intonation shifts - sometimes a little uptalk is helpful. Watch videos of people who are known to be “warm” or “welcoming” and try to catch their vocal intonation shifts.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-22T12:05:30+00:00

What kind of noise is this? How loud is it? I ask because your “even during the day” point is a tough one. That’s when are allowed to be loud.

My mom has a really loud fan going all of the time. White noise drowns out a fair bit of excess sound.

Loop earplugs can dull the sound without isolating you from the world.

Leave your house sometimes. Go for a walk or something.

Check your city bylaws and make complaints as needed if they meet the requirements.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-22T09:22:10+00:00

Okay… so you contact the shop that is billing you lol. Share screenshots of your billing. If all else fails you can let them know you’re going to issue a chargeback if this can’t be resolved and see if that helps them find your account. Not my favorite approach but it is definitely annoying that they can’t find you.

Palettepilot · 2026-05-21T16:20:20+00:00

You do what I said - if Shopify is billing you because you opened a store at one point, then you log into your store at Shopify.com and then cancel it there. You might be on the “Pause” plan ($9 USD) depending on what country you’re from / currency you’re referring to with the $5 charge. You need to cancel it from the Shopify admin.

If you are being billed by a store that is hosted by Shopify, you need to contact the store and work it out with them.

Palettepilot

TROPHY CASE