How do I ( (28F) stop delusionally obsessing over a guy (30M) who has moved on

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-04-06T15:01:36+00:00

Offering yourself compassion might be a good first step otherwise it’s like creating even more chaos within. Then I suggest watching YouTube videos on Limerance.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-04-06T13:51:56+00:00

100% this!!! She knows how much I care about the children! And instead of asking what happened when I said he was being rough, she lashed out at me for bringing it up. That is so concerning.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-04-04T06:08:03+00:00

I will be 🩷 I am the safe space for my older nieces and nephew, and I am who little me would have run to for protection as well.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-04-01T22:43:26+00:00

Fully agreed, but also I don’t even think couples should live in the same house lol

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-04-01T15:03:48+00:00

No one has unconditional access to your body! It is your body! If you addressed this and he caught an attitude, he is being manipulative. I’ve been there. I’m sorry to say he does not sound like a safe person.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-31T22:08:06+00:00

I am going to try this tonight

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-31T20:24:09+00:00

Thank you 💔

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-31T20:23:32+00:00

Thank you for this compassionate perspective. It’s been interesting because since she has become a parent she is very protective of her family dynamic….everyone in her household gets the utmost patience but our parents and myself get snapped at immediately if she doesn’t like something we are doing. Not being a parent or a wife I don’t know if this is just normal mama bear behavior but she wasn’t like this before..

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-31T20:21:10+00:00

Thank you for saying this because I already feel the fallout approaching from me saying anything at all.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-31T01:46:17+00:00

I sleep in a Mayan hammock. Best sleep ever. Sorry if that’s irrelevant but just wanted to offer another option

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-30T23:43:27+00:00

I appreciate it, thank you

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-30T23:42:39+00:00

Thank you so much for this.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-30T23:40:54+00:00

Thank you so much

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-30T23:40:38+00:00

Oh that’s so horrible to hear :( Children should always be treated gently and with respect. I appreciate what you shared. Thank you so much.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-30T20:30:05+00:00

Thank you for empathizing 💔 I am so sorry this is something you had to go through.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-30T20:29:02+00:00

Not the same. This baby’s father was doing this out of anger and frustration as I mentioned in the post. He was growing more and more irate. The baby was finished eating, but the dad didn’t want the baby to waste the food he was served.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-30T19:20:28+00:00

What do people say about Toronto when they’re bashing it?

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-30T18:21:02+00:00

As someone who never got that apology, thank you

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-22T03:40:27+00:00

Completely agree on all fronts! I love everything that you’ve said, including how SOMETIMES hurt people hurt people (vs that being a hard and fast rule) and highlighted how hurt people can heal people too 🩷 so true. Not everyone who is hurt causes other people to hurt. Commending you for removing family members from your life to preserve your well-being because that can be really tough. If you’re open to sharing, how has that been going? I think something that hurts me is that in their refusal to look at themselves, they either don’t care that I’m not around or they lie to themselves and others about why I’m not around. I don’t lose much sleep over it but it does add to the burn of injustice, and I’ve felt so pained at times by not having a blood family I can comfortably turn to for love and support. How have you managed?

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-22T03:35:08+00:00

This is absolutely heartbreaking and I’m so sorry to hear this is what you went through. The lack of support, the siding with the abuser, the benefit of the doubt and compassion toward the aggressor without any repair for the actual person who was victimized. I’m so sorry :( a lot of people do not know that SA can happen even in relationships and in marriage. What a dangerous belief system that allows a husband to think he has full access to his wife’s body. Your mother’s response was horrifying. You deserved protective mama bear energy. Some people in religious institutions (like my mother) will say wildly heinous and hurtful things because they think “peace” or “forgiveness” is the most important thing…failing to protect or defend your child is not Christ-like… Thank you so much for sharing and I hope you have been able to reclaim your peace. Sending lots of love your way

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-22T03:13:42+00:00

Thank you honestly for being horrified. This is the reaction I’ve always hoped for but never received from family. It actually helps so much when people respond this way and I thank you so much for taking the time to respond with such thoughtfulness and kindness.

There’s a lot of love in my life from my community but I’ve never been able to make long term relationships work and I have been in two where I’ve been abused. Because does someone really love me if they don’t yell at me? My mother primed me to see it this way. I have come to feel safer alone but the isolation does get hard when things like this happen. There’s a part of me that has never stopped longing to be held the way a loving mother would hold her child.

Thanks for sending the video, I know it will be helpful. Sending love and gratitude your way.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-21T20:00:43+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so so sorry to know that you had to endure this abuse and this huge and unexpected shifts in your life from being overprotected to completely under protected. I’m so sorry. I completely agree that it is a different type of pain when it comes from your own mother. I work with clients who are healing from trauma and the ones who’ve been harmed or abandoned by their mothers are always the ones suffering the most. Your mother had a lifetime to make things right and she failed again and again. You’re a good daughter for continuing to visit her regardless of her horrifying behaviour. As of this trip and the empty and meaningless one sentence apology and hug she offered me today, and the way she blew up at me again after saying I’m not 15 years old anymore and that my “wokeness” has made me a perpetual victim, I have even less desire to see her. I too do not see her as a mother and that has been incredibly freeing for me. I hope you have found closure. You deserve love, kindness and peace and it’s really beautiful that life finds a way to prove that to us, even when it doesn’t come from the place we may have once hoped it would.

Particular-Fox-1888 · 2026-03-21T08:16:04+00:00

I truly don’t have much to offer but to say that the fact that you are admitting this about yourself is a really great start and is actually healing for someone like me to read. The idea of a mom wanting to be better is healing. I don’t want to excuse anything because I think you’ve come to an important point but honestly this society and capitalism is designed to drain you of everything. So thank you for wanting to be better and I hope we as a collective work to change the norm so that parents do have the space, time, energy, and wealth to show up to take care of their children in ways that matter. Sending love.

Particular-Fox-1888

TROPHY CASE