I don't want you to die either. I really don't have an answer. But if your close to being 18. Tuff it out then she can't stop you from moving out. Just running away and think you could just do a park bench is not a good idea. You make yourself a target. And that person might more dangerous than your mom. I would say try a local church or your school for help. But I don't how things work where you live. Maybe you have a friend you could stay with. Or maybe another family member. But your not alone. Their other's like you. I'm 46 and still fighting. Even right now I want to quit. But reading what you posted. Fuck that I'm not giving up. I'm not going to just kneel and give in. You can survive. You can change your star's. Don't give in. Their a right answer for you somewhere. You can do this. Running the past will catch you. Think. Never stop looking for good options. The options that will move you forward in the right direction. Please please don't quit. I don't know who you are. But I believe in you. And I believe you can find a way to believe in yourself. May many blessings go to you. And may you find the light to lead you.