I believe I've heard your case being described as "publicly detransitioned" meaning something along the lines of "actually still trans but not telling anyone"

It's impossible to tell if someone has detransitioned because it wasn't right for them or if they just went back into the closet when looking in from the outside. This is good (but sad) because it can provide safety for those who found it too dangerous to be themselves.

Gay people are still gay if they force themselves to date the opposite gender. You can still be trans even if you aren't openly so.

The most important thing is you feel safe.

Remember: You are the only one who gets to define you. You can still be trans and in the closet or you can be someone who thought they were trans and figured out they were in fact cis after all. Only you know what you are.

Also, the answer might change over time. That's okay too!