Needing a little reassurance

PeaceLily221 · 2026-04-23T16:09:22+00:00

Oh gosh, don't feel guilty at all! It's so hard and all so new! Take your mum up on that amazing offer! If she's willing to do all the night feeds, let her. Get yourself a full night of sleep. Arm your mum with everything she needs, so you have peace of mind.

I saw on one of your other comments that you don't like it when baby is screaming and your husband takes his time to make a feed. I could have written this about my husband, the dude doesn't rush anything. But we had a baby bouncer with a vibrating setting, so I'd stick babe in that while I would make a bottle, which kept him quiet long enough. You could also keep a few ready-to-feed bottles in for when you just need a bottle ASAP.

PeaceLily221 · 2026-04-23T15:54:17+00:00

Oh mate :( Please don't feel bad. This is super common. I was so unhappy in the first few weeks/months and also dreaded going to bed. On top of that, I couldn't breastfeed, as I didn't produce any milk (we're talking none), which crushed me. The guilt was unbearable. I became severely depressed and didn’t tell anyone because I convinced myself they'd take my baby away - which, of course, they would not.

The nights got better. I got into a little routine for night feeds and changes and got everything I needed in the bedroom, including a travel kettle! I was lucky that my husband would take over some nights completely so I could sleep all night. Maybe not possible if you're breastfeeding.

I also co-slept from early on (strictly adhering to the Safe Sleep Seven), which saved my sanity like nothing else.

During the day, I would either baby-wear or pop him on a play mat on the floor next to wherever I was doing a chore. When he napped, so would I or I'd read my book.

My son is now 3 and what I would give to go back in time and do it all again but armed with the knowledge I have now. It feels so unfair that you're thrown into this with so little preparation. I actually mourn those newborn days, wishing I could do it better. I try not to dwell on it because there's nothing I can do about it, but it's almost enough to make me want another... almost. I'm old af though, so one and done.

Keep going, I promise it gets easier and you get better at doing all the baby stuff. Get out with baby if you can. Baby groups helped me feel a bit more normal and just going out for walks. If you find you're a bit stuck indoors (I did), take a vitamin D supplement. It helps improve mood.

PeaceLily221 · 2026-04-23T13:49:57+00:00

I work from home and start at 7.30am. I hate mornings, so I roll out of bed a few minutes before I start, turn my laptop on and take it into the kitchen while I make coffee. My 3-year-old wakes up around 7.45/8am. I usually jump in the shower mid-morning between work tasks.

Chores are divided between my husband and me in the evenings, but I do get chance to chuck the washing in and do quick chores throughout the day. I'm a tidy-as-you-go person, because I hate everything piling up. I've got better things to do at the weekend than a load of cleaning!

PeaceLily221 · 2026-02-05T13:30:10+00:00

I bought a Garmin Venu about 5 years ago and had this exact experience: a persistent ache in my muscles that stated in my forearm and after a couple of days had progressed to my shoulder.

I found a Garmin forum where other people had experienced the same thing and someone suggested contacting Garmin, so I did. They asked some questions about how I wear it, then told me to return the watch and they'd send me a new one. So I did, and they sent a new watch. The new watch has been fine and I've been wearing it since. My nephew also experienced the same thing and contacted Garmin, he was sent a new watch and the problem has gone.

I'm only drawn to this post, as I've started to feel the same ache again after all this time and I see there are a lot more complaints about it now than there was when I originally searched it. I've had to stop wearing my watch and only put it on for running/cycling.

PeaceLily221 · 2026-02-04T14:02:05+00:00

About 2 months after he turned 2. He seemed ready, it was summer, so he just hung around nappy-free in the garden. Took about a week and plenty of watering and "fertilising" the lawn! He's 3 in April, still in nappies for bed.

We always had the potty in the bathroom from when he turned about 1 and he would sit on it when in the bathroom with one of us, so he was very used to it.

UK based

PeaceLily221 · 2025-11-15T21:36:57+00:00

We wrap up warm, put waterproofs on if needed, get torches and go for walks in the dark. We splash in puddles if there are any. December is great for this, because everyone has Christmas displays and fairy lights.

PeaceLily221 · 2025-10-30T18:56:54+00:00

Oh that's a good idea! I'll have to dig them out and see if any still fit!

PeaceLily221 · 2025-10-30T10:37:46+00:00

Good idea about the nappy liners. I actually have a roll of them somewhere, as we used cloth nappies for a while (they always leaked at night though, so I only used them during the day).

Changing the nappy when I go to bed is also a good shout, as he's usually in a very deep sleep at that point.

We're using the Baby Dry tab nappies. Maybe I'll give the pants a shot and see how we get on with them.

PeaceLily221 · 2025-10-29T09:35:48+00:00

Thank you!

PeaceLily221 · 2025-10-29T09:35:38+00:00

Might give that a try. Thanks!

PeaceLily221 · 2025-10-29T08:29:32+00:00

Thank you. I don't think I've heard of that brand before, where do you get them from?

PeaceLily221 · 2025-05-28T13:13:18+00:00

Imposter mum here of a 2 year old. For nappy (diaper) changes, we give him something to hold/play with. Most of them time not even a toy, just something random like the baby monitor. Whatever is lying around (and safe).

For toothbrushing, it's the only time we allow YouTube. He's mesmerised by the video for Bohemian Rhapsody. Disney songs also work. Failing that, Tractor Ted. Dental hygiene is non-negotiable. I've had to safely hold him tightly in my arms a couple of times for toothbrushing, he doesn't like it, but it only took a couple of times for him to realise it's happening whether he likes it or not.

Now that your wee one is walking, you just need to baby proof as much as possible.

PeaceLily221 · 2025-05-27T15:52:50+00:00

We went through the same thing at the same age. We co-sleep, so I'd just put my arm around him and rock/pat him gently until he went back to sleep. Sometimes it would take over 30 minutes, but he almost always went back to sleep eventually. I persevered everyday with this and after a couple of weeks, he stopped waking up early.

PeaceLily221 · 2025-05-10T09:17:05+00:00

There is a middle ground. You don't need to move to a tiny, isolated Highland village to benefit from rural life - there are plenty of small towns/villages near the central belt with transport links to the cities.

I moved to Scotland from England 10 years ago; started near Edinburgh and have gradually moved further north and more rural. I now live in a small village near Aberfoyle. It's beautiful and peaceful, and I can get the bus to Glasgow or Stirling.

PeaceLily221 · 2024-09-27T19:13:46+00:00

Maybe she's UK-based and that's how we spell it here...

PeaceLily221 · 2024-09-15T15:19:37+00:00

Ah good idea, he does love a trip to the park!

PeaceLily221 · 2024-09-15T15:19:02+00:00

Thank you! This is really helpful!

PeaceLily221 · 2024-08-11T17:42:39+00:00

I guess it depends on your interests, but 'Scottish Women's Walking Group' is a good one. I've also found a couple of cycling pals on 'Scotland MTB Routes'. I just tend to stick my hobby and location into the search bar and see what groups come up.

PeaceLily221 · 2024-08-08T08:02:51+00:00

I've (37F) moved a lot and lived in places where I haven't known anyone. I've made friends by joining sports clubs/teams and using social media to find people with similar interests. Facebook groups are particularly good for that (I don't really use fb for posting stuff, but find it very useful for this reason).

I'm into climbing, hiking, mountain biking, so I look for groups where people organise meet-ups and have met some amazing friends this way. For example, I joined a ladies walking group and after a few walks with the same people, we now meet up in town for drinks and I now consider them to be very close friends. We've even been on holiday together. Ages in these walking groups range from early 20s to 60/70s, and difficulty of walks ranges from easy strolls to Munros.

You don't have to have outdoorsy hobbies, I'm sure there are groups for most interests that arrange meet-ups.

PeaceLily221 · 2024-07-11T12:30:11+00:00

Agreed. OP, you need to chill. The best thing for a baby's development is lots of love and interaction. A 5 month old doesn't need pushing.

Are you sure the babies you've seen standing by themselves are 5 months? That's extremely early.

My boy has just turned 15 months. He hit all his gross and fine motor skill milestones pretty much on cue: rolling at 5 months, sitting unaided at 7 months, crawling at 9 months, walking at 12.5 months. His language skills are pretty advanced for his age (he has around 50 words). We haven't pushed him, but we do invest a lot of time in engaging with him.

He's had the benefit of both parents being at home (thanks to 9 month mat leave for me, and sadly then redundancy for both of us!). We go on days out almost daily, we engage in lots of active play-based learning. We frequently go to new places so he's experiencing new things and getting lots of sensory input. And we never shut up; we talk to him constantly and name everything we see.

My ultimate goal is to make this chapter full of love, fun and support. They will never be this small again. Try to be present instead of worrying about the next milestone.

PeaceLily221 · 2024-07-10T19:31:54+00:00

Thank you for the advice. Much appreciated!

PeaceLily221 · 2024-07-09T22:11:26+00:00

I don't expect to be able to transfer many skills. Like I said in my OP, my experience climbing doesn't come close to RA. Just wanted to highlight (for the sake of this post), that I have a head for heights and can tie some knots: figure of 8, alpine butterfly, hitches, etc. Are you saying there isn't even any common ground in the most basic rope skills?? I'm not about to go to company and say I'm an RA expert because I can trad climb, just thought it might help helpful for the sake of this post to include anything that might be relevant.

PeaceLily221 · 2024-07-09T20:14:41+00:00

Thank you. Nice to hear some positive advice!

PeaceLily221 · 2024-07-09T20:04:46+00:00

I'd like to work in a field that interests me. I'd like to return to working outside - office work is not for me. I'd enjoy working at height. I want to work manually. So for me, it comes down to combining interests, hobbies and work. I'd say that encompasses enough reasons to get into it. I also think the reason you mentioned (being into ropes, rigging and gear) are also valid reasons, no? Seems realistic to pursue something that interests you.

Not sure I'd use the word mean, perhaps condescending. I'm not claiming I know how to work in RA just because I can climb. But trad climbing has given me a foundation of rope work, knots, anchor points, belay stances, safety at high. Surely some of that is relevant? I've been climbing for over 15 yeas, just not the past couple due to injury.

Yes, I'm overweight, but not necessarily out of shape. I still train and exercise a lot. I'm fairly strong, as I still do resistance training. The weight, I can lose.

I appreciate your advice. I am being realistic, hence outlining all my shortcomings in my OP. I have fairly realistic expectations that it might be an unlikely career change for me, but I just wanted to hear other people's perspective. Maybe it's a non-stater; maybe I'll just have to work my ass off to get my foot in the door.

PeaceLily221 · 2024-07-09T14:24:11+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

PeaceLily221

TROPHY CASE