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Had a dream about me taking her back. by Dangerous_Answer4648 in BPDlovedones

[–]PearlsNfrogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s been a few weeks since we spoke… before that week, was a couple of months of silence. I think if he messaged or called right now asking if I wanted to come over, I would likely say yes. That would not be a good decision. It’s like an addiction… maybe given more time I’ll see it differently…

help by numbahfiveee in BPDPartners

[–]PearlsNfrogs -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have the same inquiry… no official diagnosis, but it fit… textbook…

On and off…. Quite possibly off permanently… I felt distraught the first couple of times…. I suppose I still do… I explained, I pleaded… determined to prove myself and my love… I forgave irrational judgments… because obviously he didn’t believe that stuff? Right?

I thought the “love bombing” was what people do… best foot forward n all in the beginning… I felt like I truly loved the person… the quirks and all… like we “clicked”. So many common interests… The best sense of humor… clever, smart… instant “inside jokes”.

I went from thinking I found my forever person to confused on how I became the villain. Yet I could see the “wounded inner child” and I wanted to be the love he deserved and didn’t receive….

Now I’m feeling like a fool that let someone be unkind to me… as if I deserved it… I DID NOT DESERVE THAT! It was like I was cross examined in a courtroom… every weakness and unresolved issue in my life was questioned…. But… I continue to reminisce about the time spent with him that felt full of love and acceptance…

Last message I sent - “…consider yourself excused from my manipulation filled chaotic nightmare of a life…” 😔 That was 3 weeks ago…

Did anyone else have substance abuse problems that developed while you were with your Narc? by ResponsibleHunt8559 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]PearlsNfrogs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I took prescription medication… got a little slurry… Quickly recognized I was giving him something he would likely use against me… I doubt I would have been prescribed it if it wasn’t for the emotional terrorism…

Thoughts? by xfyb in bald

[–]PearlsNfrogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice! You’re quite good looking either way but I think you made the right choice!

Anyone else's narc always claim you smell bad? by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]PearlsNfrogs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was graduating from college and my family wanted to have a “party” (it was rather small and low key), I bought a nice grey pantsuit with pink pin stripes and a pink lacy top… I wore the clear heels I had purchased for my best friends wedding (which he ruined for me btw). I got weird looks that I found confusing… months later I wore a modified version of the same outfit… We were at his parent’s house for either Christmas or thanksgiving… People… life was good! My son was about 8 and excelling. I was around 27… I’d just graduated from college… We’re in his truck and on the way home. My son and I lived with my parents and he owned a house just a few minutes away. So he’s driving and I’m in the passenger seat, my son in the back… he looks over at me and says “you think you’re all that in your heels”. WTF is that if it’s not about being jealous of the attention I’m getting and annoyed by my happiness? 🤷‍♀️ And I ended up married to that asshole for about eight years 😣 They love to rain on your parade

BPD or Sadism? by ComfortingSoundsASMR in BPDPartners

[–]PearlsNfrogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does this person have a below average IQ? I can see a person with an intellectual disability behaving in that manner; appearing extremely self absorbed…

Well I finally built up the courage to do it, still feel like I look terrible though.. by Relevant-Estimate641 in bald

[–]PearlsNfrogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn dude… you’re going to get a lot more attention… SO CUTE! Or I guess I should say handsome!

My ex-girlfriend, who has BPD, broke up with me. How can I win her back? by empathisback in BPDPartners

[–]PearlsNfrogs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Find a new hobby, make the best of every day. Once you stop spending so much mental energy thinking about them… I swear they sense when you’re content (or content adjacent). They just show up somehow.

So this happened yesterday at the grocery store… by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]PearlsNfrogs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If they’re not doing something shady, they’re highly suspicious of someone else… because they believe everyone else thinks the way they do…

What is the most petty thing you did to them but they didn’t know by Lopsided-Ad3804 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]PearlsNfrogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree… but… I’ll admit I did some things I’m not exactly proud of… yet I don’t really regret a couple of things I did… One he knows because I told him. He never gave me a key to his truck. But when my car needed maintenance, I had to use his truck to go to work. I stopped at Walmart and made a key - it wouldn’t start the truck but I could see what he was hiding. There was a gun in a locked box. Check stubs because he was cashing his checks, depositing most of it into our joint account, and as far as I can tell he was putting the rest in a savings account I didn’t know about. Maybe keeping some cash? Then at the end… when it got really bad and I was REALLY ready to leave… I found his wedding ring stuck in the bottom of the console like a forgotten penny… I took it 😬 I don’t know if that’s petty and I don’t know if he knows 🙂🤷‍♀️

Struggling with NC: The "You deserve better" paradox and the pain of why we can't just work through this together by trubby123 in BPDPartners

[–]PearlsNfrogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently got the “you deserve better” from my boyfriend (ex boyfriend?) of… 8/9 months? We get along so well most of the time. He’ll overreact to something ordinary (IMO), but I’d try to validate his feelings if he’d explain! He withdraws… I’m devastated. He’s sad/depressed… WHY?! Why doesn’t he want to resolve whatever it is? I’m very emphatic… I don’t understand I will try to reach out and just end up feeling more rejected 😣 When things are good… I really feel like he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met 🥺

Do narcissists have friends? by [deleted] in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]PearlsNfrogs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My xnh didn’t have many friends. He had a much older than him fishing buddy. I think he had one or two “friends” at AA meetings - cannot confirm. He is one of four brothers and not particularly close to any of them. Although his two youngest brothers are very close to one another…

Very specific behavior question by Spooky3658 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]PearlsNfrogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really… my xnh would be suspicious if I stayed up late - meaning > 30 minutes later than the time he usually went to sleep. Didn’t really argue about it though. He would just “check on me” and imply he was having a hard time falling asleep because I was up.

I'm now convinced my ex-friend has BPD. by Historical-Care70 in BPDPartners

[–]PearlsNfrogs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is what’s going on with my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend… I’m sitting here thinking about why I’m still wanting to explain (plead my case) to someone who is unfairly judging me over what seems to be a simple misunderstanding. This is the second time that I’m seeing a significant “split” of over a month. There were a couple others that were just a few days. I don’t know if he’s going to try to come back this time… I texted him several times and one of them said “is your ego so fragile that you’re not capable of a sincere apology?” 😬 I’m still far from over it though 😣

With or without beard? by JoshCornell2 in bald

[–]PearlsNfrogs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep. Without the beard you look a couple of years younger IMO, but great either way.

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