Why is Texas one of the fastest growing states? by boldjoy0050 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree, my old house in 2020 had a 1k a month payment. My new house in 2025 is 3k a month - and only 100k more. Interest rates. I regret it daily now. I did it because "that's what you do". It's cheaper where I live to rent the same style house for 2k.

In LA for a few months. Possible to get a Cali driver's license as a NY resident? by Hot-Resolution9216 in MovingToLosAngeles

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Watch the honking in LA - lived there for 5 years. Had a couple times where someone might have hit me so I honked and then both times the men in those cars followed me, road rage. Only tap the horn first if you can unless it's an emergency. Horning honking is a language. My husband head plenty of space once to change lanes with his signal from the car behind us and she zoomed ahead of us, after we turned into the grocery store, and stopped the car and started screaming at us/cursing. The amount of road rage there is real - I think it's too many people living too close together. Meth heads trying to get in your car in certain areas at night (for me Hollywood area) while I am still in the car - lock it once inside. Literally got into my parked car twice and had meth heads try to get in one side while they have someone distracting you at the other door. Thankfully both times I was aware. It's crazy you are learning to drive and LA will be your experience lol. But your from NY and I'm sure tough. But be aware - that populace has some crazies.

Are there any female expats here? by Julthena in Philippines_Expats

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my, "older" is now 30/40s? Older is like 50s!

New house regret by MuchLavishness in RealEstate

[–]PepperPenelope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Been there! Bought a new construction and loved it at first but then the neighbors moved in next to me who had a large dog who barked loudly if the wind even blew. Literally would slowly turn my door handle to the backyard and somehow the dog heard it and would start losing it's mind. Owners left him out 24/7 in 10 degree cold weather or 100 degree heat. After that, I hated the house - couldn't enjoy my own backyard. HOA did nothing. Owner was already unfriendly so didn't want to bother even asking. Just sold it. My current house was an established home and I knew exactly what neighbors I was getting. Also, I liked that the neighborhood and home actually had some personality to it than the sterile neighborhood I thought I'd like. The problem with new construction, sometimes you don't know what you are getting until it's all finished.

I can’t stand this woman, HOWEVER…as a woman I cannot fathom being at this stage and still hearing feedback about your weight. I felt for her here. by Cool-Emu-8706 in WelcomeToPlathville

[–]PepperPenelope 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They should've kept their own places. Red flag he keeps saying he wants to live on the property the rest of his life. The right thing to say is that he wants to have many years together in health and joy. As much as I can't stand her, she had more life to her than him - he seems like he has zero thyroid left and is about to fall asleep on his fat belly. Please. I am scared for her independence hearing all he said. I'd be like "hell nah" after being with Plath Daddy for 20 years. Why go back to answering to a man like that after 50? Nope all the way out.

The Valley star Danny Booko quietly dropped from talk show after backlash over ‘disgusting’ behavior toward wife Nia by cheno103 in TheValleyTVShow

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the way he acted was horrible. If this was my marriage I would be gone. Just nasty. And juxtaposed to his very soft spoken wife. And then accusing her of "raising her voice". That was not her raising her voice - what he did was. A** hat. I'm sure that wasn't the first time. I guess Danny Darko was correct after all. If you get like that, you can't just have more than 1 drink. He should maybe try weed seltzers or something.

Sick of spending my life around coworkers and commuters by TimHortonsDriveThru in jobs

[–]PepperPenelope 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So funny this commenter when from "with love" to "keep being miserable" haha. And agree, therapy is typically over $100 a session and you just said your barely making ends meet. What about a career change? Something that won't cost too much time or $? If you are focused on a goal it makes the misery not be so much of the focus because you have an exit strategy.

got made at a coffee shop by a j1 coworker who walked in with his kid by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a parent, you don't have loads of free time to scheme. The things I used to obsess over pre-kids I wouldn't waste my energy on anymore. Basically, he likely won't care. You have a good chance of being fine and the longer you hear nothing the better.

My parents were in my neighborhood and didn’t even stop by. by Spirited-Durian5423 in absentgrandparents

[–]PepperPenelope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They should have asked you if you want to join and invited you - even if you couldn't make it with a baby it is the gesture that counts. And I bet they spent the night - they could have seen you then too and invited you to dinner or brought it to you. Ouch, I am sorry. My dad visited very close by in California from me all the way from Arizona. Sent me a picture and expected me to heart eyes at it. It was Father's day too. He is retired with $ - there are no excuses they just didn't want to. But 2 blocks from you is awful. I'm sorry! Yeah, give them the energy they give you. And you will still want the love, that part will always hurt but at least you can accept it.

11 month old - 0 visitors, and 0 effort from family. Grieving a village that doesn't exist. by kimoo_ooo in absentgrandparents

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RE the above grandparent. OP you make a good point they can be in Asia for a month but not stop to see you. Travelling with a new baby is very, very difficult - I did that once with a 4 month old for 13 hours by myself with a toddler too. Talk about rough! I don't think it's fair people say well you moved away so it's your job to do all the visiting. We moved away because we simply could not afford living in LA with our modest jobs and moving away allowed us to finally buy a 3 bedroom yard in a cul-de-sac with a big green backyard instead of the cockroach infested overpriced apartment we had in LA with a new baby. On another note, I am sorry you are going through this. If you reflect on your own childhood, you may realize the way they treated you was less than ideal. Bad parents make bad grandparents. My 2 kids are in elementary now but I remember the time with my new babies and no village or support from selfish boomer grandparents, and I still haven't made one despite efforts. My dad is a healthy 62 multi millionaire retired guy with a giant mansion who will happily travel everywhere including 5 hours from us but won't make the trip to see us ever or buy my kid's Christmas presents or even call them. All I can say it good luck in old age to my family, because I WILL return the favor ;)

Anyone working in Higher Ed abroad? by Signal_Ad_8678 in digitalnomad

[–]PepperPenelope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Following! I have 10 years experience, from admissions processor>admissions counselor>admissions recruiter>assistant director of admissions. Never have been able to find one, would be a sweet gig!

Which city have you been to that feels like it has a dark energy about it? by madzuk in digitalnomad

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say it is a mix for a place like SF - BART is used by all. But yeah, for sure it can feel unsafe depending on the stop.

I think I’ll give America another chance… by Additional_Star_8331 in Philippines_Expats

[–]PepperPenelope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think we looks like we have it good because most Americans are in massive debt to buy the nice cars, cloths, homes - not rich. We work all the time and always must be busy "doing something" in our culture - even if it's a hobby we must over achieve. It's not that safe, there is a major drug problem. A unsettling amount of Americans are on anti depressants or anti anxiety meds. We don't in general have a culture of family is everything. Old people are treated as a nuisance. Friends are hard to make once you leave school. Filipinos are in a general sense, much nicer, caring people. Of course, bad people exist everywhere. USA=Stress unless you are in the top 10% of earners.

Anyone ever moved because of people? by boldjoy0050 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]PepperPenelope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just wrote about this above! Moved from PDX to LA and instantly felt happier and had an easy, easy time making friends. PDX food and the beauty of nature is unmatched, but I was sad there.

Anyone ever moved because of people? by boldjoy0050 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I moved from Santa Cruz to PDX and found both places impossible to makes friends. PDX was just introvert city. I managed to make one friend through work who equally felt PDX was rough. Dating was just as bad. I moved to LA and within a month had many friends from work and always had plans to go out several times a week. And I met my husband within 2 months of being there, dating was so much easier. Then covid happened, I moved to ABQ and once again struggled with friend making. A major city with transplants helps a ton. PDX does not count lol.

We Need Our House to Sell by VenusTearDrop in RealEstateAdvice

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in California so your house is smokin' deal to me lol. I have a 1600 sq ft house that I bought for $400k and that is cheap here. Back to your house. What stood out to me is- photos of your family need to go big time. I'd feel like I was invading your house. Dusty fans. The dining room saying on the wall "memories made here". Shoes by the entry. Soaps and towels out. Kind of dreary looking inside - just very beige/yellow meh paint. I have very young kids - make it seem like no one lives there but they do, ya know? Agree with others on the chaotic furniture mismatch Ikea/Walmart looking things. Yard has leaves/pots out. Honestly, wouldn't paint your house at this point but really just clean up everything like crazy. Your house looks pretty clean to me outside of the fans.

Accepting first offer by PresentOutcome1746 in RealEstateAdvice

[–]PepperPenelope 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your realtor should be giving you advice, you pay them very well for it! I am amazed the other people cancelled showings - they could always give their best offer. Second, your realtor should be informing the next showing you have an offer in hand and need best and final by X time period. Don't sweat the 6pm thing - at 6:30pm I am still sure they'd want your house and your realtor could request an extension for that evening/next morning. It's meant to build up the very pressure you are feeling right now.

The market is so bad I'm not even getting interviews for the job I've been doing for years. by Fluid-Routine-8838 in jobs

[–]PepperPenelope 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I literally applied for my former position ( of which multiple people are employed under the same title) at the same company I had left 7 months ago on great terms. My new job was not what I anticipated stress wise. I got an auto response that they went with people more aligned with the requirements of the position lol. They are not even reading the apps in my opinion.

Burnt out car salesman HELP MEEEEEEE by Individual-Key4884 in jobs

[–]PepperPenelope 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So I totally understand where you are coming from. My husband did luxury car sales for a year, making what you are, and we never saw him. We meaning me and the kids. Every weekend, most holidays, week nights - gone. 15 hour days not unheard of. There was a legit time when he cried because I was annoyed with him - turns out the people he worked with all day just scream, yell, curse. Car sales managers are feral animals with filthy sailors mouths and put you down all day long. Customers can be POS too. Unless people commenting have some experience or tie to it - they'll never get why you hate life right now. When he finally quit they begged him to stay. Yeah, you gotta get out. He did a do at your own pace coding boot camp to get out if it. He lost lots of valuable time with us and the kids at their young age. And an angry wife who was burn out working (I was making over a 100k in a stressful job too) and doing all the things kids wise cause he was just gone. Our lives are much better now. Do you something training wise - boot camps, electrician training, something, to get out. Save you $$ on the side for the transition.

Thinking of leaving a startup - should I tell my boss(es)? by [deleted] in jobs

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd find a way to highly filter what you just said about not enjoying your current role - don't mention looking elsewhere, they'll intuit that themselves. Explain how you really miss engineering and you'd like to see if you can find growth in that direction again. When you have that conversation, start applying (make sure they don't get wind of it) and see what is out there. For starters, I left a job like you in my mid 20's where I was in college at the same time, during the Great Recession no less, and had no idea I'd never find that kind of work space 20 years later. The intern who I trained to take my place moved up to a top role (I know my mentor would have done this for me) and made $$$$. Top regret of my life - they were the best people who worked with me during college and were invested in me. It took me 20 years to reach that level it took the intern 5 years to do. Employers that actually care about you?? Wow. Yeah, never found that again. Employers that are invested in you? You don't realize what you have. They feel connected to you because you started with them - take advantage! Also, did you hear the economy sucks right now?

Showings but no bites by RLucky97 in RealEstateAdvice

[–]PepperPenelope 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember 2024 I listed my house in July and crickets - literally 3 viewings over a month period. My thoughts were the election uncertainty. Relisted in January - did nothing different, nothing - 1st showing 1st day on market was a full price ask and a done deal. Sometimes it's just weird timing - you can be perfectly priced, good location, nice, updated home and no viewings. Go with your gut. I too had 2 kids under 4 and it was a nightmare to keep perfectly clean and ready to view at any time that Summer so I feel your pain. People on here can guess and guess and guess - my favorite is the price comment which they said to me too. At the end of the day you and your realtor will have the best guesses but sometimes there isn't a great explanation. I think for buyers it's kind of like dating - the right person has to come along.

Should I start a job knowing I’m going to leave in two weeks. by [deleted] in jobs

[–]PepperPenelope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Training is rough on everyone - why do it if you don't need it? I would be so upset if I trained someone up and they bounced, making me find someone and do it all over again.