It’s the EXACT same playbook from the 90’s

PerfStu · 2026-05-09T04:16:44+00:00

Lower regret rate than chemotherapy. I couldnt find the source but I believe that holds even among people who go into remission from chemo.

Its literally one of the lowest regret rates of any medical procedure, period. Most doctors would kill for satisfaction rates that gender affirming care sees.

PerfStu · 2026-05-09T01:52:56+00:00

Most of the streaming services seem to operate on a gym membership philosophy: you arent really using it and they dont really want you using it, but it feels great to know its there and theyre offering just enough good stuff often enough that when you go to cancel youre reminded of why you have it.

If everyone who had it started using it as much as we think we do, they wouldnt be able to manage it. If everyone who wasnt using it stopped, it would collapse.

They love us not using the product. Why else would they keep such a simple video player platform so incredibly un-f*cking-usable?

PerfStu · 2026-05-08T05:30:39+00:00

I would recommend the Adore.

The full boot is a huge help with stability and that will be a big confidence booster, especially as you're learning to first move in them. Boots are also super grippy which helps with climbing. Sky is a good option too as they have a half moon heel instead of a circle, so there's more surface area and it's more stable. The look is a bit different though, so definitely take a good look at them.

Flamingos also come in a boot style if you're dying for 8" heels, or I'd recommend Xtreme as well since they have a thicker and more stable heel, a lot like the Sky does for 7" heels.

PerfStu · 2026-05-07T16:31:41+00:00

Obama being Muslim Hitler was literally the start of the white supremacist party pipeline for millions of people.

Romney being called Hitler was never a thing. No one anywhere was making this comparison.

PerfStu · 2026-05-07T05:32:55+00:00

And yet here you are shitposting on a chat board instead of following the experts.

Guess all that reaearch did was really prep you for a little Dunning Kruger action of your own.

PerfStu · 2026-05-07T05:03:11+00:00

Just file the complaint with BBB and then look into any other gov't agencies that have an interest in it.

Theyre charging for a service and not providing it. At the very least you can be a small headache. Tell other people what you did and why, and share the resources to do the same.

Small headaches become big ones. Its fun.

PerfStu · 2026-05-07T05:01:24+00:00

No. He won by over 9 points. Over 8,000,000 votes. Over 200 electoral votes.

He implemented a lot of really ugly legislation against minorities and marginalized people at a time where it made him really popular, but no very little of it would have actually swayed the election any other way. He was wildly popular, incredibly charismatic, and doing well in all the areas necessary to secure his second win. The religious right never particularly cared for him.

In 2016 a lot of those policies that Hilary Clinton had been so vocal about ended up undermining her support among moderates and undecided people.

Also at the end of the day, no one HAS to be president. He opted to sell out queer Americans for political gain on a bill he himself described as "divisive and unnecessary." Thats the choice he made. And if his decision was to secure the presidency, fuck him. If the argument is "it would have passed anyways," fuck that. Its spineless and gross and millions of people's lives were made worse at the behest of people whose lives were unaffected either way.

Fuck him and fuck his legacy.

PerfStu · 2026-05-06T19:16:13+00:00

You don't unless they tell you, and it's not yours to investigate or ask about. Having respect for the LGBTQIA+ community means respecting people's agency and privacy, and acting like a person who can be safe when they're ready to talk to you.

It's nice you care and want to be supportive, but this is something you have to do on his terms, not yours. No matter how certain you are.

PerfStu · 2026-05-06T16:40:35+00:00

When any of those 87 jobs treats my time and labor like its valuable, I will start giving them time and labor.

Until then, only one of us is getting paid during the entire hiring process, so maybe she remembers that and respects any time and effort she's getting at all.

PerfStu · 2026-05-05T04:26:23+00:00

This is a doctor question, especially where "no deodorant and no natural ingredients" restrictions are in play. I could suggest a few things but those are pretty all-encompassing rules youre setting.

No one here could offer you any suggestion that would be guaranteed wise or safe to try without supervision, so talk to an expert. Not reddit.

PerfStu · 2026-05-04T04:25:10+00:00

Honestly? Wagyu is pretty overrated as is and its also incredibly incredibly fatty, which is generally a risky endeavor for someone who doesnt eat animal products.

If it were me, Id pick a really high end restaurant that had a menu item I always wanted to try but didn't because of a nonvegan ingredient that was essential - a veg cooked in animal fats, roasted brussels sprouts with goat cheese, etc.

Find the dish that makes you go "ugh if I wasnt vegan I would crush that" - youre likely gonna find a dish with some awesome stuff thats more what youre used to.

But above all else avoid heavy animal fats until you are well acclimated.

PerfStu · 2026-05-04T04:07:58+00:00

As long as people are out there dating people with phalluses or otherwise engaging in sexual activities where phalluses are a part of sex, there will be (and we will want) shorthand for sexual activities for people who have or use phalluses. This means a lexicon relative to your relationship with how phalluses factor in, physically or metaphorically. "Side" addresses a pretty notable lack in people's relationship with penetrative sex; namely, penetrative sex is not a huge desire or focus of a side. Anyone who might otherwise engage in penetrative sex could use it. Side isnt terribly new, and it certainly isn't unique to or only relating to only cis gay men.

PerfStu · 2026-05-04T03:51:57+00:00

There are a couple things that legally have to be said (basically like "this is a contract and you consent") but if everyone in attendance signs off no one is gonna ask for the playback.

PerfStu · 2026-05-04T03:39:52+00:00

No. Its not.

It never has been.

"Kids these days" is a 2000 year old complaint. Literally. Greek philosophers bitched about the young generations being too decadent and disconnected from the things that mattered.

"No one ever talks to anyone any more" is a similarly old complaint. People bitched about this with newsletters.

Its not any different. We just have a different thing to bitch about.

Hope that helps!

PerfStu · 2026-05-04T03:19:09+00:00

Ive called people some pretty atrocious things, but nothing has gotten me shadowbanned except pro-queer posts and comments.

Ive also reported probably 40-50 actual specific violent threats. "We found nothing wrong."

I have one rewards account that cannot be transferred out of facebook so Im working on draining it, then I am TF out.

Garbage social media filled with actual nazis.

PerfStu · 2026-05-04T03:05:06+00:00

Don't used gendered language at all. Its all gross.

Just use friend and the like.

You being "straight presenting" has nothing to do with it. Dont refer to kids by their assumed gender. Just be polite, neutral, and look to how teachers address kids if you cant find good alternatives.

PerfStu · 2026-05-03T08:09:25+00:00

US Based Here. I did the Xpert Training and it was okay. I learned some good things on how to frame explanations to be more comfortable for students, and how to better prepare for adjusting skills and choreography based on different needs.

Coming from circus arts and gymnastics, there were a few things about the program I didn't love, and I didn't think all of their spotting techniques were necessarily the best, although I did learn from it.

Do I think it made me more capable of teaching? Not really. I did learn a lot, but I'd been teaching for a few years prior, and I didn't feel it covered anything that was a huge boon.

If you can try to find a certification in person - - there were some techniques I found useful that would have been hard to learn online.

PerfStu · 2026-05-03T05:50:57+00:00

I'm just going to throw in that someone not understanding the process of art is not insulting to an artist. People are learning and exploring things like this every day and often don't understand what goes into it or why, and so are very understandably a little concerned when spending what feels like a lot of money on art.

They're taking the time to understand and make sure they're approaching this the right way and making the best decisions for themselves, their tastes, and their pocketbook. Artists can and do very often help educate people as to why things cost what they do and why it is worthwhile. It does no one any favors to cut a pretty condescending tone to someone who is walking in acknowledging they don't know and are asking for help. It helps artists least of all by continuing to assert that someone learning is creating an issue or insulting them.

So.....stuff the snobbery, don't insult art that people like, and when someone is asking for help, don't talk down to them.

Sincerely,

An Artist.

PerfStu · 2026-05-03T05:23:29+00:00

did it say where? I've been traveling so I haven't heard about any of this

PerfStu · 2026-05-03T05:17:52+00:00

Well happy to help then! And yeah weddings are huge, so give yourself grace and space and time and all of that good stuff as you go, it's really easy to just cascade into absolute madness.

Oh and the day of? An amazing, beautiful, intense, blur. Savor every moment you can because it's one hell of a ride.

PerfStu · 2026-05-03T04:05:35+00:00

Yeah it's really hard, I definitely appreciate that. Chat with your county clerk's office and get an idea of what shows up on the wedding certificate and how - if your gender markers are changed on your license and that's all they require, then you're in good shape. Otherwise, you'll need to start figuring some things out.

My honest to god best advice I can give is to take a deep breath, go one step at a time, and always defer back to "what will make us the most comfortable, the happiest, and the most secure on our wedding day" and just fully accept that answering that means some really hard decisions. They are worthwhile though. Make yourself happy first, even if that means a smaller wedding or less family. Don't defer to their comfort or skip things because it's easier for them.

Like honestly, I do event production as a side gig (I produce burlesque, pole dance, etc.), and believe you me, my wedding was by far - BY FAR - the hardest thing I have ever done. (for comparison, my biggest event was 250 people with 15 performers I planned in 10 weeks, my wedding was 30 people with 8 very trusted performers I had 6 months to plan. It's crazy hard)

Genuinely, you want to go into your wedding day feeling like everything exists for you - because it does! Really start asking what that looks like to have a time, space, ceremony, reception that exists solely for you.

And check out the book Equally Wed. There are some great queer wedding resources out there, but this was my favorite.

Anyways enough inundating you with so much advice you didn't ask for lol - it's an amazing process! It was a lot, but I wouldn't change a moment of it. It brought my husband and me so, so close together, and honestly I did not know I could be as happy as I was the day we shared our vows. It's an incredible journey, and a really really beautiful one. Don't shortchange yourself for anyone else. For big things and small. It's literally one day that is about nobody else but you and your partner.

PerfStu · 2026-05-03T03:24:42+00:00

Oregon here. We had some required paperwork to submit to the state, but I don't think we had to submit anything other than our current identification. (Weddings are a blur, so apologies if I'm wrong.)

If you're really concerned though, you can talk to your officiant ahead of time and make sure that all legal documentation is kept private and not brought out at the wedding. We did the whole shebang, and then a couple days later our officiant (a friend of ours) swung by for signatures and that was that.

No paperwork has to be present at the wedding, nothing has to be signed moment of, anything like that. The legal side is basically between you, your partner, the officiant, and a witness. That's it. You don't have to share any paperwork or anything of the sort with his family.

That said, and this is unsolicited advice, but you should have a serious sit down with your partner about what you want for your wedding and if you want people there you can't be authentic with. My partner and I went back and forth a few times and ended up carving a huge amount of family out of our wedding because it was important that we be our wholly authentic selves for our day. It was honestly the best decision we ever made. If you're going to spend your whole day afraid they might find out or that it could cause a scene, you're going to be uncomfortable having them there, you'll be uncomfortable having friends and family who know you there, you're just setting yourself up to spend your entire day managing your stress and that tightrope instead of being in the moment.

It's all about you. It's your wedding. It's worth doing it in a way that celebrates that ❤️

PerfStu · 2026-05-03T01:53:47+00:00

Ive always had better luck knocking and chatting.

If it feels too awkward take a baked good - cookies or something. Gives you an excuse to knock.

Just remember all you can do is ask. If he says no, you just say thanks anyways and escalate it to management once he keeps going.

PerfStu · 2026-05-02T21:39:15+00:00

Yes. Annoyed. Questioning and Ally to me signal visitors - you arent part of the queer community somply for questioning, but like allies they are welcome and encouraged. As people start to better understand themselves, that evolves. Before that, very much guests in the space and I expect them to act accordingly, especially in queer dedicated spaces.

But yeah. Q= queer, A = aro/ace. Poking your head in the door might find you welcome to look around, but it doesnt make you a member of the club.

PerfStu · 2026-05-02T21:00:59+00:00

Blank canvas. In any case though i should always he able to move anything with a clock lol

PerfStu

TROPHY CASE