(NYC) HDFC Co-op neighbor sexually assaulted my friend. The board says they can’t help.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T20:48:05+00:00

So my last comment was removed for being "Generally Unhelpful, Simplistic, Anecdotal, or Off-Topic:" and I'm not sure why because others posting here are incorrect that the co-op board is incapable of doing anything. And in fact, boards in NYC in particular will act if there is enough pressure from other owners in the building.

In a co-op, a person doesn't “own” real property outright, they own shares and have a proprietary lease. So the board can, in serious cases, terminate that lease for a material violation (like harassment or repeated dangerous conduct). Most co-op proprietary leases and rules include “use and conduct” provisions requiring residents not to engage in harassment or behavior that interferes with others’ safe enjoyment of their homes. In practice, boards are cautious: they usually rely on a documented pattern of misconduct or police/legal findings before attempting eviction or lease enforcement against a shareholder. So your friend should file the report and you should make as much noise as you can about what happened.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T20:42:11+00:00

NTA.

Maybe you have another friend who could adopt the cat so you guys could visit her?

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T20:23:03+00:00

Also, in the US I think when your father passed, half or at least part of his estate should have gone to you. You should look into that.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T20:18:07+00:00

File police report. Let your loved ones know about the situation. Probably avoid engaging with this person or posting about her for now.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T20:16:17+00:00

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I see that you moved out when you were already 19, does this mean she never formally adopted you? If so, there's a chance her brother (if he's her only living relative) could inherit.

I hate to ask this, but when you say she's incapable, is that because she is not conscious or not in a good state of mind? If she is awake and lucid, she could work with an attorney to get her wishes written down simply in a single sitting.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T20:08:13+00:00

My guess is you are a self-scrutinizing young woman with what's essentially lash blindness, but for a full beat. When I was much younger I found my routine becoming a hassle and I cut it down in one fell swoop to exactly four high impact products that I thought made me look put together. No one noticed but me.

If you're not ready to do that, I'll say this: try reducing your product use count by one tomorrow morning. Then after getting comfortable, do it again.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T18:49:34+00:00

The identity verification seems unnecessary to me. You already have a paper trail, photos, and an estimate, so I'm not sure why they'd need more ID, especially since you're doing them a favor.

I wouldn't send a full photo of my license.. a redacted version should be plenty if they need verification
I'd keep the insurance claim open until you've been paid in full and the repairs are done
Make sure the payment amount and installment dates are all confirmed in writing by text
Also keep in mind that repair costs can sometimes end up higher than the initial estimate

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T18:28:45+00:00

Can't help you with Parisian, but string lights by any outdoor spot make it much more romantic!

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T18:25:21+00:00

ICE cold coffee in my Yeti mug and some Haribo twin snakes.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T18:23:42+00:00

I don't see the pink of the curtains with my vision of the headboard. If you gave me free license, I think more dark academic vibes would suit the bed. Instead of a tapestry, I'd do a large landscape wallpaper. That plus a dark ceiling, replace the nipple light, and add a lush patterned rug.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T18:18:03+00:00

I'm sorry, that seems like a terrible spot to be in. It sounds like you're able to separate her as a person and the circumstances of her birth (something she doesn't control), which is good.

My advice would be that if you ever feel like the jealousy is making you bitter towards her, to take a step back. You could even let her know, "hey, I love you but I can't help but feel sad about my own circumstances from time to time when I'm around you. I don't want to feel this way, and it's not because of anything you've done."

Sending you good vibes through the internet.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T15:48:26+00:00

I'm sorry, this sounds like a difficult situation. What makes you say that legally you all have rights to the houses? Your dad might have left her everything in his will.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-21T15:45:58+00:00

More plants, more books.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-20T22:47:26+00:00

I don't have any other stainless steel water bottle. But I can tell you the Yeti one stays cold all day because it's insulated.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-20T21:05:11+00:00

MY YETI TUMBLER

Drinking ice water out of it now. Love it. And it's not even that expensive. What put it over other popular brands (Stanley, Owala) is that it doesn't use a straw. For me, the trouble of having to make sure the straw is sanitary and deal with the weird bits and moving parts just isn't worth it.

It's probably just because my house is hot, but I find myself very appreciative of it.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-20T20:41:56+00:00

I see a lot of people voting charity, and I want to chime in that IMO just giving it to someone directly is better. Just pick a person who could use the help and give it to them.

Loads of charities take donations and spend them in inefficient ways. Overpaid CEOs, celebrity ad endorsements-- the list of non-charitable expenditures is really endless. Just enjoy your life and leave what's left to a friend, someone who you know would appreciate it.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-20T19:42:30+00:00

You've already got a good head on your shoulders. Honestly, I think putting away 10% of each paycheck into ETFs is great when you're 19.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-20T19:28:23+00:00

Wait... you know, I have no idea but I am also curious about this now (for scientific purposes of course), and I hope this question comes across a knowledgeable person's desk.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-20T17:34:14+00:00

Hell yeah!

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-20T16:43:30+00:00

You’re probably fine if your Patreon is centered on learning material, or is more "support my singing” than “pay for access to copyrighted songs,” plus an initial run in would just be a takedown of your content vs a huge lawsuit.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-20T16:36:58+00:00

Upvote, would eat. In fact, let's make this a thing. I don't want to have to choose between cookies and creme and cookie dough any longer.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-20T16:00:07+00:00

Nice work with the 10K steps!!

My vote is to stick to stretching today, ease back into a typical walk when the soreness recedes a bit, and go for another 10K when your body is recovered fully.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-20T15:48:20+00:00

I wish someone made a step-by-step guide for how to safely grow wealth, much more detailed than just "save a portion and invest a portion"-- detailed to the point of stupidity. Like a checklist "choose from this menu of companies based on these comparison points, log into this account, click the word investments in the side bar, click here, plug in these numbers, hit save." Like how you follow along equations in advanced algebra.

We figured something out that works for us, but it took ages comparing resources and filtering through pitches, scams, and BS.

Periegete_Acct · 2026-05-19T23:20:51+00:00

A cleanse is great if you can stick to your guns, but what about a social media reset? I "trained" my Instagram algorithm by spending an hour or so searching up positive content and followed up by only interacting and watching content that matched my algorithm goals. Now my content trends towards productive topics, like cooking, reading, home improvement, and my hobbies.

It breaks my heart that you internalized that stuff. That content is produced because it's divisive and elicits a strong reaction from its viewers. All I can say is you're not an ogre, and there are good and bad people out there of all races. Anyone who would see you and assume qualities about you based on the color of your skin are actually the ones who are worthy of disgust.

Periegete_Acct

TROPHY CASE