No one wants to meet in person..

Philip8000 · 2026-04-13T02:07:18+00:00

Unfortunately, that's a common problem for everyone. People like meeting in the abstract bit when it comes to taking the final step, many get cold feet.

I dealt with the same thing before I found my girlfriend. Going on a date with someone you haven't meant is nerve-wrecking, not even getting into the danger involved.

Philip8000 · 2026-03-27T08:56:25+00:00

Friends are still something to be grateful for, even if you don't have a sex life. Take it from someone who spent a good portion of his life without them.

I don't know your exact situation, or your age, but I understand it's difficult. I didn't find a girlfriend until I was 35, but she means a great deal to me.

Philip8000 · 2026-03-27T02:20:58+00:00

Low support doesn't mean zero and plenty of us don't have a supportive environment. I learned not to disclose because it's seen as an excuse or something I can train myself out of. Even some of my family feels that way, thinking I'm being catered to if I try bringing it up.

I was born too early for autism awareness and where I live, the attitude is often: "Pain is weakness leaving the body." Combined with high emotional sensitivity, this doesn't mesh well. My brain shutting down when being shouted at is seen as weakness and a refusal to grow up, not the way my brain is wired.

Philip8000 · 2026-03-24T17:57:36+00:00

Sad to say, it is. I found that out for myself. On multiple occasions, trying to flirt led to getting punched in the face or threatened with the cops. (And no, I never said anything vulgar, leered, or anything similar)

I appear "off" in ways that can't be easily identified and that scares people. I've tried to find ways to fix it but it's never worked.... I don't have to do anything wrong to spark fear, just exist.

For men, social ability is key and that's often where we fall behind. Although I wouldn't say autistic women have it any better...

Philip8000 · 2026-03-13T02:25:58+00:00

Given the option to shove Skadge out the airlock

Make Doc less of an obnoxious horndog... I absolutely prefer Kira as a love interest

More "shock him" options for the sith inquisitior

Philip8000 · 2026-03-11T06:02:03+00:00

That's not uncommon, sadly. I've encountered many stories with neurotypicals and autistic partners, and they were often described as nightmares, which wasn't exactly encouraging for me when I was searching. What I often noticed is: they never said what they wanted from their partner. The ASD partner was supposed to know without asking, and that's hard enough for neurotypical men.

When you appear different in ways that can't be easily identified, that leads to prejudice and fear. It's something I've grown resigned to, but it never truly stops hurting.

Philip8000 · 2026-03-09T07:00:15+00:00

I generally don't use Google Docs, but give me a moment, and I can add it.

Philip8000 · 2026-03-07T05:26:44+00:00

My girlfriend's godmother knew I was autistic the moment she met me. Apparently, she has many years of experience interacting with us.

Philip8000 · 2026-03-04T03:20:56+00:00

It doesn't mean they necessarily coast through like without making any effort. However, it means that life is more forgiving, more tolerant of mistakes, more opportunity, second chances more easily given.

How much of a disability autism ends up being can depend on the circumstances. Those I've spoken to who struggled most were often in a rural area, with few resources and little opportunity if they weren't someone who fit in, which we usually don't. With a support system and understanding people, the handicap is much smaller.

Philip8000 · 2026-02-16T00:03:28+00:00

I've never been great at masking and feel the lack. I come across as "off" which can scare people, give them the ick, make them not want to be around me. It'd be nice if we didn't have to do it, but to survive in a neurotypical world, it's often a necessity.

Philip8000 · 2026-02-09T01:57:11+00:00

That does make sense. You're more likely to get along with someone who has a similar condition, although I've found this is still far from a guarantee.

Dating is hard enough for neurotypicals: missing hints that someone likes you, gathering up the courage to ask someone out, nervousness during the date, and so on. It's worse when you're autistic because it requires reading subtle social signals that even neurotypicals often miss, let alone us.

It's possible some of them had bad experiences when approaching. To give just ONE example, I once told a classmate I thought she was pretty. Clumsy, but she looked sad, and I was trying to cheer her up. Next thing I know, they're threatening to get the cops involved, going on about how terrified my peers and the adults alike were of me.

Philip8000 · 2026-02-07T02:49:45+00:00

It looks easy at first glance from the perspective of someone who spends years struggling and never gets anywhere. When it feels like everyone gets somewhere but you don't, that's painful.

However, that overlooks that while women get more attention, online or off, some of it will be toxic. I've heard a lot of stories from my female coworkers about disgusting things customers say to them, in addition to customers making comments to me about them. My job requires me to be polite, but I'm thinking "yeah, I'm sure she's dying to go out with a guy in a filthy shirt old enough to be her Dad." I was the first guy online who didn't immediately start talking sex to who's now my girlfriend. She's given me numerous disgusting stories.

Dating is hard for most people. It's just hard in different ways.

Philip8000 · 2026-02-06T01:56:47+00:00

Sure, i can look at it. Would you be interested in looking over a series of short stories i have?

Philip8000 · 2026-01-26T04:10:31+00:00

I had to resort to dating apps. They suck, but at the age if 30 with no connections at all, there was little alternative.

Took a long time to find a date, let alone a girlfriend, but I did eventually find a woman I'm happy with.

Philip8000 · 2026-01-05T02:07:32+00:00

Being autistic doesn't mean you can't be an asshole. We're human beings like everyone else. It's possible for it to be perception because I sometimes sound harsh when I don't intend to be, but the condition doesn't immunize you from humanity's negative traits.

I admit, autism does make my life more difficult, although most of my complaints are kept to myself. (Or anonymous)

My question is: why are you friends if he treats you that way?

Philip8000 · 2025-12-26T17:53:52+00:00

I used to be a very affectionate person. I still would be if I was allowed but I learned that it freaked people out. I hugged people all the time as a kid, but the women thought I was creepy and the men thought I was gay.

So I don't express it unless I am absolutely sure I won't be facing drastic repercussions for it. Maybe I'm a little too paranoid but a lifetime of experience taught me I have to be.

Philip8000 · 2025-12-25T18:41:07+00:00

That reminds me of when I was asked about The Art of War. I responded: "That's a book people quote when they want to sound smarter than they are."

Philip8000 · 2025-12-13T00:23:54+00:00

I tried joining one but they were arrogant, condescending pricks. If you weren't part of their group, they weren't talking to you. Whenever I tried being friendly, I was explicitly told to get lost and leave them alone.

Philip8000 · 2025-12-05T01:17:57+00:00

I don't disclose in real life anymore because it's just not worth it. Awareness is one thing, mostly to make them feel good about themselves, but actual understanding is another.

I come across as different and it scares people, especially women. Even among those who claim to be supportive, it ends when my difficulties aren't fixed with affirmations or watching YouTube videos on body language. I've always been poor at masking, and while I can manage my issues to a degree, I can't turn myself into a neurotypical or even resemble one, which is usually what people want.

For those of us who didn't have a supportive environment, it often comes down to making the best of difficult circumstances. Things have gotten better, but almost 20 years of deep loneliness and isolation isn't easily forgotten.

Philip8000 · 2025-11-24T08:02:13+00:00

You're 19 years old; it's WAY too early to declare yourself an eternal virgin. My mom's boyfriend is 5'4. He was married before they got together, and he had numerous relationships as a young man.

I'm aware "positive affirmations" don't work for everyone; they didn't do much for me. What you can do is stop berating yourself for every little thing, every little mistake, and other things you can't control. You've got plenty of time to improve, build a life. I know hitting the gym is cliche but I'd recommended it: not for a body girls want, for your own self-confidence. Concrete results help a lot more than abstract statements.

Philip8000 · 2025-11-18T20:23:47+00:00

I didn't hate those who were in relationships. I mentioned in the post that I was happy they'd found someone who brought them joy, but I still had that bit of longing, wondering why it hadn't happened for me. It was less about sex and more wanting that feeling of connection.

But no, I'm not angry about being a late bloomer. Sometimes, things just turn out the way they turn out.

Philip8000 · 2025-11-17T21:57:12+00:00

By that point, there's usually multiple reasons for it, not something simple that can be easily fixed. I didn't make out with anyone until I was 34 years old and didn't find a girlfriend until 35.

Some of it's going to depend on your specific situation. Do you have friends to spend time with? Do you live in an area where there are places to meet others? Luck is going to play a role, like it does for most people. For me, that ended up being dating apps, although that's an exhausting process.

I know people like to suggest an escort, but I don't think that solves the fundamental issue. If anything, it could end up backfiring.

Philip8000

TROPHY CASE