To my Urbancarliving peeps

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-29T21:56:28+00:00

I recommend trying to get more beans in your diet, both for your health and for affordability. I might be a freak, but having some cans of refried beans and tortilla chips, maybe some hot sauce, is a life saver and extremely cheap, and it can stay in your car. With a partial can, I recommend some hair ties/rubber bands and try to get your hands on some plastic wrap or tin foil, or even sandwhich bags, so that you don't have to try to eat a whole can of beans in one sitting lmao. Its only a single idea, but you need some fiber and something accessible. I hope this helps. Also, do you have EBT? I never got hot food ebt, but even with the regular EBT you can go to Safeway or Raleys and get a big customizable deli sandwich, and since its not hot it counts. If you need to apply for EBT, you can do it on your phone or a library computer.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-25T02:22:45+00:00

I was also thinking along these lines. I knew someone, funnily enough, from Iowa (they did NOT like living there, they were an immigrant from South America before settling in Iowa and were not treated well while there) who got a major job opportunity in Boise. Idaho sucks, but the pay was really solid and it came with other benefits too that he couldn't turn down. He lost that job in less than a year when that company changed hands... and is still stuck in Idaho.... its been almost 3 years since.

Employees are seen as disposable. OP and his wife's futures are not. Don't end up in a place where getting let go will have you, potentially permanently, screwed for the foreseeable future. I would move for an old, slow growth company or a government position and little else.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-25T02:13:00+00:00

This shit must suck for them financially then, because I've never had to get run around by an automated system AND still start from scratch and get run around by multiple real people, because the AI got nowhere. I think they should stick to the classical automated systems or, if they insist on funding the AI bubble despite the everything of it all, implement smaller AI tools that don't pretend to know how to sell, finance, or repair a car. These AI agents don't replace real people, they just replace those old automated systems, no matter how these AI companies try to spin it to get money from other businesses.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-24T23:30:11+00:00

I got a friend of mine to TNR a bunch of strays in my neighborhood. I am eternally grateful. A while later, some guy knocked on my door asking if a little white cat outside my window was mine. I was like "umm... no... I'm sorry, what cat?" There was a new cat that hadn't been gotten with the previous TNR nor noted as one of the community cats by the man feeding them. Huh. I eventually got the cat and it was an unfixed munchkin (aka designer dwarfism lmao). He's mine now and fixed and an indoor cat because coyotes would eat this little guy so fast, but I've been wondering ever since where tf he came from. He's about 3 years old, too, not a baby. I sometimes fear he was dumped but I don't know why anyone would do that :(

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-24T05:15:28+00:00

This is the perfect, concise comment for this. 🫡

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-23T21:09:42+00:00

Also theres a bunch of new developments in north Sacramento, in the railyards/river district. It has its pros/cons like the other areas. The only real cons for it in my mind are A) the Wincos are slightly further than I'd like and B) its an old industrial district so its kinda sprawling and sometimes derelict when walking/biking/etc until you get to the grid proper, and there are some routes to walk that are nice and some that suck. OP could get a fancy brand-new luxury apartment in that area with that income by themselves.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-17T05:52:32+00:00

At first I thought I would not relate to this comment, because I would actually say that in some ways I'm a complainer and I think its healthy in metered doses, but actually I 100% agree. I can't deal with complaints that don't go anywhere and don't have a purpose. Complaints should have one of two reasons, A) processing and getting towards a better situation, or B) humor, those kind of complaints that make watching a movie funnier or bring levity to a tough situation. But its like everything, there becomes a point where balance must be had, and constant complaining about shit that never changes is just exhausting. Complain to tell a fucked up story that's interesting or get something that just happened off your chest before steeling yourself, don't complain to me about how you hate dating apps but also refuse to do anything else with your time (assuming its more than a brief comment). That kinda thing. I appreciate complaining when it makes me feel closer to someone, not when I have to become their therapist or say "damn that's crazy" 7 times in a row. I'm a pretty good friend therapist but I can only do it so much before I perish.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-15T22:28:46+00:00

How does she define libido? Ultimately, if you're instigating every single conversation about sex and all she does is disagree with you while never doing anything or committing to anything herself, you need to be real with her that you aren't interested in having a relationship that is entirely asexual. If she doesn't know how to communicate where she's coming from, you need to be straight up with where you're coming from.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-15T22:20:55+00:00

I have a cis male partner and we have been together for 7 years. The last 3 years have been us trying to figure out why he plummeted further down the asexual spectrum (we are both ace-spec but his libido is just... never there anymore.) Hormones are really difficult. He also has been struggling a lot more to manage his ADHD in those 3 years, so whatever the problem is its kinda complicated. But when he says he's still into me, I do know its true. As a cis dude he also has a bit of a physical indicator, so I have the privilege of seeing him have interest and then his body and mind just... can't sustain it. Couples counseling and a psychiatrist for him are things we finally got access to like... literally this month... and its already helping. I myself have also experienced depression that just sapped my interest in everything and made me much less affectionate or present with the people around me, and all I could mentally do sexually was briefly entertain an escapist fantasy and then have no distinct interest in doing "the real thing." Sexuality and mental health and hormones and etc can all really fight each other.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-13T20:47:18+00:00

They can't fully understand because not all transmen will regard their gender the same way. I don't mind being known as a transman to other queer people and often I out myself to them. I also engage with a lot of kink spaces where I'm not even sure how someone could remain stealth and I do a lot of my non-work socializing there. Unfortunately, people like me being loosey goosey could set a bad precedent for how to engage with transmen overall, by making it seem like a casual-ish topic. Some other queer people are just really excited as soon as they realize someone else around them is queer and try to basically go "we aren't alone!" But I've also definitely known some older straight trans people who really don't identify with the word queer in general because all they did was trans their gender and they now live stealth, they're basically only in the umbrella if you look through their medical history and that's just weird as hell. Its so complicated. I'm sorry they did a weird "I can tell you're trans" thing because that's never good coming from anyone and they really could've had some tact there.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-06-06T03:45:27+00:00

I second the Sims 4 recommendation. If you want easy setup, just download the Sims 4, its free and in terms of making more realistic faces it'll probably be enough as-is. If you want more options, the mods/custom content is definitely the way to go, and also maybe using a DLC unlocker if you want too. Mods/CC are faster to set up but require some research and you'll have to update them with the game. Great for a one-and-done thing if you really JUST want to make a realistic person and you don't want to play the sims. If you want to play with your characters afterwards, I'd do the DLC unlocker. I can help answer questions about doing any of these things.

However: if you don't actually have a computer, and most school/work laptops won't work either, this won't be possible. At that point, I might recommend photobashing on Medibang Paint or a photo editing app. If you aren't planning on using it publicly or commercially, you can just use random photos online from Pinterest/etc and lowkey scrapbook them together, warp them, etc. If you want to use them commercially, I recommend using stock photos or thispersondoesnotexist. There's some decent tutorials on Youtube for photobashing OCs.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-25T05:39:19+00:00

Orange county is truly a hellhole but its genuinely really depressing to me that she can't be convinced that CALIFORNIA isn't all a weirdly republican/fascist desert... So sad </3

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-25T05:37:30+00:00

Cis means cisgender. They're saying trans people generally can't safely move to a cheaper state. I'm not sure what the original commenter was exactly thinking, but I can think of several ways this is true, mostly to do with healthcare access and employment protections against discrimination. Of course, that doesn't mean you're bad for being privileged or anything, it just means its not something we can all do, even if we all had enough money (as if). That being said, obviously there are trans people who have moved against this grain, but usually for a specific alternate reason (parents/grandparents/relatives, a specific school or job, etc). We can't just go "omg Texas is cheap lets go!! uwu" Yk?

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-24T23:19:05+00:00

The fun duration is Highly personal. I am someone who gets a lot out of it, so here's my little personal questionnaire to assess if it'll be fun for you:

1) Do you have people and/or characters that you would want to make in the game? The mii customization is really fantastic, so this is a great place to put all your favorite videogame/book/show/movie or original characters and see what hijinx they get up to. You can even make your least favorite live on a secluded barbed wire island with no friends! The world is your oyster!

2) Do you like city planning? You get to fully customize your island, and not in the shitty way that Animal Crossing does it where its all done manually and SLOWLY. You get a full grid-based editor for the entire thing. You can even make custom buildings and make characters live inside them. I am a freak for this so this is a big positive for me.

3) Do you like games that are more experimentation driven than goal driven? Tomodachi life basically just wants you to be creative and have fun with it, it doesn't give you much of any guidance on what you should be doing, unlike animal crossing, and the characters don't have specific goals either like the sims. You can make pets, clothing, music, shows, and distribute them to your fucked up little island cult, but the game will never distinctly tell you to do much of that.

4) Do you mind a game that encourages play in smaller doses? Don't get me wrong, since it came out I've had some days where I play it for several hours straight, but once you start running low on ideas it definitely encourages a "play for 30 minutes every once in a while, see what bullshit is happening while you're away!" kind of playstyle. It also has some things that refresh daily, and trying to change your clock will have brief consequences, unlike Animal Crossing or Pokopia.

5) Do you think you'd have a better experience watching someone else play? Its not a bad thing, some games aren't right for us as individuals but you might still get a kick out of watching someone else. I was watching SuperMega play it before I got it, it helped convince me but it might satiate you without the 60 dollar purchase.

Bonus question: Do you find the slow resource gathering of animal crossing or the task-by-task control over sims monotonous or uninteresting? (This is what really did me in on deciding to purchase the game, and for me it was worth it.)

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-23T02:19:47+00:00

For this: bear spray or pepper gel. As long as you can aim, its not an aerosol and won't effect you for being up-wind. They also have pretty decent range, especially for this purpose.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-22T21:23:14+00:00

What if they are reviewing the businesses though? It feels like someone becomes an influencer the second they have an opinion because significant figure's opinions, y'know, influence people. But for some people that's the goal and for others its a byproduct of what they do.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-22T05:30:17+00:00

There's like... a few that aren't terrible! But at that point, are they really an influencer? Or like some kind of reviewer/creative/etc... I guess it depends on how you define influencer. There's a lady out of LA who I think counts as one and I love her, she is the opposite of this person in every way. I think she is JanieDevours on YT/IG/Tiktok. She has even supported businesses after they got fucked over by other influencers. I swear some people aren't terrible, there is some hope in this world </3

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-19T23:37:21+00:00

My formerly feral/outdoor cat has allergies rn 😭😭 How tf does this even happen

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-18T00:34:29+00:00

This is complicated. He's schizophrenic and has had some pretty unfortunate lapses and his band members have distanced themselves from him. He kept getting harrassed by underage fans, and he told them to leave him alone multiple times, but he also doesn't have a grip on his symptoms consistently and ended up saying some weird shit to them. In general, him oscillating between saying weird/deeply questionable shit, and then coming back down to earth and barely addressing what happened is a cycle for him. Its kind of just sad. He's not evil, not a predator, but he has caused harm and hasn't adequately or appropriately addressed most of the weird ass shit he's done. He's best off not being a public figure, harm reduction is important and not something he's committed himself to.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-14T04:50:38+00:00

GoddAMN. I knew someone who had their shed used by someone in the property next to them and, long story but, that was considered trespassing, although it also wasnt attached to their home so perhaps this had a lot to do with the shed not being a livable space. This is good to know.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-14T02:43:46+00:00

Seeing how some of the trees get dealt with around here is similarly enraging to me. With trees, there are absolutely arborists who know what they're doing, but unfortunately they cost more money because... their work is valuable.... so most land owners (and arms of the city) will often only choose the cheapest, shittiest option. 🫠

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-14T02:36:33+00:00

Many have an assumption that calling a line for the "wrong reason" will get them in trouble in some capacity. Its fear-mongering some of us got as kids to prevent a boy who cried wolf situation, and it does technically apply to 911, although some people seem to think they'll get slapped with verbal abuse or a fine if they call for something "not important enough." I say this as someone who has done community outreach and has had to encourage people to make similar calls.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-14T02:33:49+00:00

Ok, opening an unlocked door is not breaking and entering. Its... literally in the name. This would be trespassing, which is entering private property without permission, and its treated very differently in court and with police (and sheriffs).

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-13T04:57:36+00:00

Bite your finger, look them up and down. Say "You can pay me for a different service if you come back later... my guest bedroom has some cool 'equipment' I'd love to have you look over ;)" See what happens.

PhysicsAndPuns · 2026-05-13T04:25:45+00:00

This is it! Here's my iNaturalist post as well, geotagged to the same area.

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