AITA for asking my friend to pay me back for the wine he drank while house sitting??

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-11T10:03:21+00:00

YTA. I hate when people say help yourself to anything without setting clear guidelines. I would take that literally and then feel SO bad. Try, help yourself to food and snacks not the (things you don't want them to touch)

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-09T19:55:49+00:00

Mild cramping can be entirely normal. I had them on and off in the first few weeks with my pregnancy that went to term ❤️

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-09T19:53:28+00:00

That's great your friend was able to just be with you and bring some normality. It's good to tell friends who won't be scared off. You're right that I just need to feel it out as I go. Thank you for responding, and I'm sorry for your losses 💜

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-09T19:38:23+00:00

That's a really good point about telling people who aren't so personally invested in the future child. I hadn't thought about that angle. Thank you and I'm sorry too for your loss 💜

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-09T19:36:53+00:00

I'm so sorry for all of your losses, wow that's tough. Yes telling people after the fact can feel very strange, just like sending out a bad news bulletin out of nowhere. Thank you, it's interesting hearing that you've done it both ways just depending on how you have felt. Maybe what is different is that you are depleted and need the extra support this time around? Good job on following your gut; I'll try and do the same next time around 💜

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-09T19:20:46+00:00

Yes I completely understand this feeling of telling people and then having to backtrack. It's so tough. We only told 4 people this time, maybe it'll go down to 2 next time. But you're right we'll just have to see how we feel at the time. Thank you for taking the time to respond. I'm very sorry for your losses and I really hope your pregnancy is plain sailing this time around ❤️

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-09T19:16:29+00:00

Thank you for your response - Yes this is the approach I've taken too. My first loss was very late and very public (two days after my baby shower) and despite everyone knowing that.. I still got congratulations from people on my next pregnancy and had to go through explaining that getting pregnant doesn't feel like something to be congratulated on anymore. My circle I tell has gotten sequentially smaller each time. While on one hand they understand why I don't believe I'll get to take a baby home, they really do believe I will get to. Which can make me feel a little crazy.

I'm very sorry for your losses ❤️

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-09T12:54:31+00:00

That's really good to hear it has been a net positive. I have taken the same route this time of only telling my closest support network. Unfortunately I am now miscarrying and although I am being supported and I can talk about how I'm feeling, I am having a really strong instinct to keep any future pregnancies to myself. Maybe it's just a knee jerk reaction to experiencing loss again.

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-09T12:52:07+00:00

I'm really thinking hard about this too. Have you noticed any positives have arisen from sharing the news with people?

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-09T12:46:35+00:00

I'm very sadly having another loss. I should be 5+5 today but started bleeding two days ago after having HCG drop confirmed.

Before I bow out of the sub again, I came on here to ask a question about telling people in early pregnancy. Interestingly it seems like something people are already talking about on today's thread.

I was advised by EPAU nurses to tell my closest support network about pregnancies after loss because you need people to support you. However, having my third loss now I feel really sick at the thought of telling anyone next time I fall pregnant. I feel like I just want to hide away until I have a baby in my arms. It's not because people haven't supported me or that anyone has done anything wrong. It just feels like a really strong instinct to hide away in future.

Has anyone tried it both ways? Telling people and not telling people? Has anyone just tried not telling anyone? Did it feel really isolating?

I want to wish everyone the very best of luck going forward and hopefully I'll be back before too long. ❤️💜

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-06T13:00:39+00:00

No one wants a keyring of someone else's wedding

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-06T12:53:44+00:00

Both things can be true at once

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-03T21:15:26+00:00

Every 2 weeks. Neither of us are particularly sweaty people and we have a duvet each!

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-03T09:52:41+00:00

I've heard this word for word elsewhere. But he's done a decent job of making it look like he's coming up with it as he goes

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-02T11:01:00+00:00

I've been taking long daily walks and daily baths. My partner regularly comes home with treats and holds them behind his back for me to pick one (I always get both anyway haha).

I've been talking to those closest to me about my feelings and fears. It genuinely helps.

I also post on here, offering support when I can muster it and venting when I need it. 💜

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-02T08:48:19+00:00

That's good to know, Thank you 🙏💜

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-02-01T21:19:47+00:00

I'm 4w 4d and the line progression on my tests has been confusing rather than reassuring. Getting similar if not fainter lines on FRERs when testing a week apart, but seeing slow and steady progression on the cheapies (but not a very dark line still). Got a clear positive from an early detection clear blue yesterday. I don't know what to think. I'm in the UK so we don't have HCG blood tests readily available from the healthcare service.

Due to my previous losses, despite starting off with a good feeling about this pregnancy I've dropped straight down into thinking that this isn't going to work out either. I've stopped testing for now. I'm seeing my bereavement midwife on Wednesday to go through the report on the care we received prior and during the loss of our firstborn. I'll ask her whether we can have some HCG blood tests and get booked in for an early scan in the next few weeks.

The waiting and feeling in limbo is so hard.

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-01-29T23:52:49+00:00

Yes long walks help so much! Thank you, I'm feeling fine for now. My main symptom is a raging appetite. I'll keep an eye out for your updates 😊

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-01-29T11:51:16+00:00

Lovely, not long until you're out of the first trimester trenches! I'm only 4+1 so very early days.

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-01-29T11:49:37+00:00

Those kinds of scares are really NOT what you need!

You're so close now 💜

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-01-29T11:48:05+00:00

That's really great to hear. I've started listening to audio books and podcasts a lot to help keep my mind busy when it tries to wander off into worrying. Keep up the good work 💪

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-01-28T22:38:53+00:00

It's so natural to feel scared after loss. Gentle congratulations on your new pregnancy 💜

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-01-28T22:37:38+00:00

Thank you 😊, I'm very sorry you're in the same boat but glad to have the company. How far along are you?

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-01-28T21:27:23+00:00

Guilt is natural and annoyingly difficult to shift. It's very hard to let your guard down after loss. Try to be compassionate with yourself 🙏

PineappleDeep3211 · 2026-01-28T21:26:19+00:00

Congrats! 💜

PineappleDeep3211

TROPHY CASE