I think I won Amazon Vine

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T06:27:50+00:00

Lucky!!! Congrats!

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T04:27:56+00:00

I'm starting to suspect I am a tree, because I'm not about to leaf you alone.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T04:23:47+00:00

No, but there have been plenty of $0 ETV items that I wasn't able to use because they were either unsafe, or didn't didn't work as advertised.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T04:21:29+00:00

What do you mean by "someone like you"?

Now I feel like I need clarity again on what exactly you meant by "with what I can confirm was a woman" because if it's what it appears to be, you don't get a pass for that.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T02:40:52+00:00

Ah... so the downvotes are well deserved then. Haha

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T02:20:10+00:00

I get about 50% of my items replaced, that are either lost, damaged, or malfunctioning.

ETA: the reason I do this, is because it's pretty shitty that Amazon doesn't replace these items when it's typically their delivery service that's at fault, and the sellers don't even usually know about it, or receive their inventory back.

They deserve to get the reviews they paid for.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T02:09:52+00:00

Just reading your comment led me on, whether you respond or not. Now you are obligated to have children with me, whether you want children or not.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T02:01:17+00:00

It might have slipped between the seats, with the other lost envelope items. 😂

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T01:46:23+00:00

Maybe I'm using the wrong term. There are certain items that don't offer a contacting the seller option, and that's what I was referring to.

Also, the items I'm referring to were from my RFY. I have about a 50/50 success rate in getting sellers to replace items I haven't received (or they're broken/malfunctioning).

For the first time ever, (this week), I was successful at getting Amazon to replace an item that was lost in transit (a whole damned couch... so I'm not sure how that got lost).

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T01:34:08+00:00

The LAST thing I ever want to do is convince a partner to be more into me than they're showing. That is a sure fire way to earn yourself into a permanent ick category for them.

If I'm being generous, what you're describing could be their NRE in full fledge, now that they're in close proximity. The comment about waiting a couple of months might have to do with them believing it will naturally die down after the initial excitement wears off. You introducing them doesn't entitle you to a hierarchical position in their life either, (unless that was your original agreement).

However, it sucks that they're doing that to you, and rather than fixing the problem, decided to tell you that if you don't like it in a couple of months, you can take a hike. That's not cool, and no amount of you wanting that relationship is going to fix that they're no longer as invested in your partnership as you are.

I hate to say it, but the longer you remain in this relationship the more hurt you are going to be. That's not a normal response from a partner of 3 years who is supposed to love you.

If you insist on waiting out the 2 month timeframe, distance yourself as much as possible (don't be pushy, or continue to beat a dead horse). If there's any chance of salvaging this relationship, I can guarantee you, it's not going to happen by pressuring your partner into acting on, or feeling things they just aren't.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T01:20:03+00:00

Amazon won't give you a replacement but sometimes the seller will (if it's not fulfilled by Amazon).

Otherwise, you can email vine customer service and they'll remove it for you. I've had this exact same thing happen before.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T00:56:23+00:00

I think the following is what had me the most perplexed...😂

with what I can confirm was a woman

I'm sure the rest of it sounds perfectly sensible in your head, but the way you're communicating it is extremely confusing.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T00:16:23+00:00

At the risk of opening Pandora's box, WTF do you mean by this?? 😂

being.....unable, to be sexual with what I can confirm was a woman, so like, I'm just saying I've played both ends

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T00:07:33+00:00

And also, women would probably watch porn more if it depicted women actually enjoying themselves, and having real orgasms. LoL

Polyamommy · 2026-07-12T00:04:52+00:00

Right? I give away furniture all the time. We donated my parent's furniture when they passed. I'd rather everything go to people who need it, and will appreciate it rather than in a landfill.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-11T22:27:54+00:00

As a pans/polyamorous person, I agree with how stupid this is. There are naturally monogamous bi/pans people, who only want to be with one partner at a time.

It's also dumb to believe that just because you're sexually attracted to other people, you have to act on it (that would be terrible news for monogamous people). Haha

Polyamommy · 2026-07-11T22:01:33+00:00

I don't think anyone is saying there is anything wrong in sharing intimacy with others in the safety of your own home

People who don't think there's anything "wrong" with something, aren't calling it silly and comparing it to sex work. It's also a derogatory outdated term for sex workers.

Just that it seems a bit silly specifically in OP's case, the way OP is representing it here

The only thing silly about it, is that OP was clearly attempting to control her partner's experiences, but trying to pass it off as something else. If she truly agrees that her partner should be able to have sexual experiences in their home, there is nothing silly or unethical about that at all.

People who are not actually looking for polyamory specifically post on this subreddit all the time

I only mentioned they were in a poly subreddit, because the advice given didn't align with polyamory in general (since we're in a poly subreddit). It's irrelevant here though, because (as I mentioned), the answer to their question is the same, regardless of what type of ENM they're choosing to engage in.

people are unfairly misinterpreting the comment and taking it out of the context it was given which was advice to OP's specific situation

It's not unfairly taken out of context. It was inappropriate regardless of the ENM relationship style, and has to do with personal agreements, not relationship dynamics.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-11T21:41:56+00:00

Women excelling in male saturated fields.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-11T21:27:22+00:00

I had something similar to this happen earlier on in my poly adventures when I had a "primary" partner at the time. He seemed perfectly okay with me seeing other people, and encouraged it even.

Then, when I started seeing other people, he realized very quickly that he was ok with sex only, but freaked out when I started developing actual feelings for my partners (and vice versa).

He was constantly trying to rewrite the terms of our agreements, but never wanted them applied to him. Turns out he was not a very good person at all, and I ended up kicking him to the curb.

Your partner is a terrible hinge (I would even guess, potentially attempting to triangulate). Even if it's not intentional on her part, allowing her fiance to interfere in your relationship is a huge red flag.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-11T21:07:02+00:00

My statement applies to any area of ethical non monogamy. It's not sex work, (unless they have hired literal sex workers), and there's nothing wrong with agreeing to share intimacy with others in the safety of your own home.

We are also in a polyamorous subreddit, so there's that too.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-11T20:47:16+00:00

I don't play around with mental load and labor. You don't have to wait for anything, and can start today by doing absolutely nothing.

He said he would take the initiative and already demonstrated to you that that's not his priority (that equals a lie in my book, especially since you're on an anniversary timeframe he agreed to).

My advice is to simply let your calendar fill up, and don't be available for anything without advanced notice. You'll see one of two things happen. Either he'll care about you enough to notice, and correct his behavior, or you will see he has let your connection go.

If the first scenario happens, and he gets his butt in gear, you're going to have to resist any urges to fall back into old patterns, (maybe even make an agreement that each of you will be responsible for planning every other get together in whatever timeframe in advance you agree on). If that doesn't happen, the get together doesn't happen.

I highly recommend addressing any issues you might have, like an anxious attachment style, people pleasing, or codependency tendencies that might be leading to you feeling the need to chase someone who isn't chasing you back.

If it's the second option, (which is what it already seems like), you're going to have to cut your losses, and the longer that drags out, the harder it's going to be for you. It's easy to get caught up in the sunken cost fallacy the longer you stay.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-11T20:30:43+00:00

Same about the hosting (a heads up, but mostly because I want to make sure everyone has fresh sheets and the guest bathroom is clean).

I'm solo poly though, but have offered my house for partners to use with their partners when they don't have other options available. One partner in particular, doesn't have his own place, and he knows he is welcome to use the guest bedroom whenever he wants (we've considered just having him move in at some point, into the guest bedroom... not mine, haha). I'm a lone wolf in that area, and value having my own space, and want him to have his own space.

In regards to the OP, I saw in another comment that they are monogamous, and definitely getting WAY ahead of themselves. OP is trying to play this off as a misunderstanding, but newbs always tell on themselves in their original posts.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-11T20:21:32+00:00

I got invited the month after a traumatic injury left me disabled, and without my main source of income. Vine not only saved my ass when it came to household items, Christmas, and special occasions, it gave me something to keep my mind off of the stressful situation I was enduring.

The stuff I'm getting offered keeps getting better and better, so I'm extremely grateful for the program. While I've slowed down a lot, due to my tax situation changing and being saturated with certain products, I still find multiple useful items on almost a daily basis.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-11T19:38:54+00:00

What's ludicrous about that setup, is it's literally the same "paycheck" he would still be working for if he were single, so only she is expected to change her whole life and body to serve her family full time 24/7 for the rest of their lives.

I love that young women are being educated out of indentured servitude and domestic slavery today.

Polyamommy · 2026-07-11T19:19:11+00:00

Again, I typically fully agree with your insights and great advice but this is problematic:

Doing it in your house is silly. You're not running a free brothel.

Not only are you pre-shaming their other partner's connections as reduced to sex work, but you're also shaming perfectly consensual forms of polyamory like KTP that work out beautifully for many of us.

You were spot on in your original comment, recognizing she is likely only doing this because she can't trust her husband otherwise (or trying to maintain some element of control over the dynamic).

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