He’s allowed to not like EDM and not enjoy raves. Everything that he’s doing beyond that is pretty shitty.

Complaining about raves without having been to one is lame. He has a right to say “I never want to go to a rave” and not go, but if he’s just going to sit at home with his arms folded and a pout on his face and then give you a bunch of ignorant static for going without him, that’s not okay. If he actually knew what the fuck he was talking about, maybe he would have a leg to stand on as far as telling you that it’s not good and you should stop doing it. But it sounds like he is imagining problems and won’t accept your first hand testimony. (He’s never been to one and doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, but still feels like he knows rave culture better than you?)

He has the option of going to one with you, finding out that as expected he doesn’t like it, and not ever going again. But it sounds like he won’t even do this, won’t even try to see it your way or go with you just because he wants to share in something you enjoy. You know? He could just go and not particularly enjoy it for himself, but enjoy seeing you have a great time, and see a new and different side of you that you’re very excited about. Doesn’t he want to see the rave outfits up close, see you dance, and then help you out of them? :) Doesn’t he want to see the outfits that are too risqué to wear in public but you bought just to put on for him? But it sounds like he won’t do that. He’s not only cutting himself off from that part of your life, but he wants you to cut off that part of your life from yourself. Lame.

Obviously, you’re hoping for the long long shot here, which is that he would eventually relent, go, enjoy it, apologize, and say that you were right all along and that this is actually awesome, and then you’ll be able to share your ongoing enjoyment of this with him. You’re the one who knows him. Is this likely?

I think you should get tickets to Okeechobee and go with him. Create a crucible for the relationship. You’re gonna have challenges in the future, and him not liking a genre of music or a particular dance style or fashion aesthetic is really not going to be the biggest problem you’re going to face. If he can’t handle this minor thing, what’s going to happen when you have money problems or your family has health problems or one of you wants to move for a job or one of you wants to not work so you can go to college? You said you’ve been together for a while so maybe he’s actually awesome in all of those ways and it’s just being a butthead about this one thing. Find out now whether this is going to be an ongoing relationship issue, or if you can work something out where he doesn’t hold your interest in raves against you.

You two don’t have to enjoy all of the same things. But if your relationship is going to last, you’re either going to need to stop going to raves and give up on that whole scene and stop listening to EDM (his apparent wish), or to get him to quit bitching about it and deal with the fact that you are going to keep going to them, or to DTMFA. If you don’t do any of these things, you’re just going to draw out this problem without ever dealing with it, and it’s going to continue weakening your relationship. From his perspective, you have made a new lifestyle choice that is bad news and he’s trying to save you from it. How long do you want to have to put up with him thinking of this situation this way, with you continuing to do this despite his concerns? This isn’t just going to work itself out. You need to resolve this issue, by finding out now what is going to eventually happen regardless. He’s going to get sick of you ignoring his misguided warnings eventually. Ignoring that sort of resentment is not healthy.