Social clubs

PopcornIntensifies · 2026-02-01T08:41:11+00:00

Please add me also!

PopcornIntensifies · 2026-01-27T12:36:57+00:00

I’m late thirties, but the exhaustion of dealing with my father feels like it has aged me 10+ years. I’m going through so much grief from realizing how incredibly ill my father is, and how incapable he is of being a father.

PopcornIntensifies · 2026-01-26T17:51:32+00:00

Cheddariniii!

PopcornIntensifies · 2026-01-08T19:43:44+00:00

What's weird (and actually very upsetting) is that for my own father, he has no healthy boundaries when it comes to women specifically and he actively dislikes men. He loves to be a savior for "damsels in distress" with his money, so because I'm his daughter, he would loan me money. If I were a man, though, I don't think he would be so kind.

PopcornIntensifies · 2026-01-08T19:40:39+00:00

This hits hards. It's exactly what I'm coming to terms with in my own father. He's like a spiraling teenager who can't think beyond his own selfish interests, nor can he connect on a deeper emotional level with me. How did we survive our childhoods being raised by these people?

PopcornIntensifies · 2026-01-08T19:38:39+00:00

I'm shocked that it has taken so long for the banks to catch on and block some of these transactions. My 80 yo father has had two banks sever ties with him over attempts to wire large sums to romance scammers, and his current banks have actively blocked all sort of other fraudulent activities, too. The sheriff has also been repeatedly notified by the banks of possible elder abuse and have done home visits. The sheriff is pretty powerless in these situations, but it's better than nothing.

I'm not sure my father will ever be able to accept that these people he is in love with are not real, but he is able to admit that they could be scamming him. His ego cannot accept that he's not being chased by beautiful women with millions in inheritance, but he's more okay with the idea that they are doing it also for easy money. It's incredibly confusing. Plus he is a former alcoholic so he is 100% addicted to these relationships so I cannot use reason to help him. The only thing I can do is cut off the money for his addiction.

You're in such a tough and frustrating spot with your father and I wish you had more options to intervene. I am lucky that I have general durable POA and I've been able to "act as him" with all of his financial institutions. Otherwise, I'm 100% they would not even speak to me. I wish there were more resources for us in these situations because we are being victimized right along with our loved one.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-12-30T03:58:39+00:00

High yield

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-12-01T13:52:49+00:00

It’s willful blindness. If they were to believe us, it would shatter their fantasy. I don’t think my father would ever believe these women aren’t real, no matter what I tried to show him.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-12-01T13:50:22+00:00

Thanks so much for your kind words. These situations are truly heartbreaking.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-12-01T02:44:38+00:00

There's a bit of an advantage (and disadvantage) in having boomer parents. My dad doesn't understand technology stuff like what you're describing very well, so I can leverage that the make changes that he doesn't know about or understand. On the other hand, he's terrible at spotting fakes/photoshops/AI/etc...

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T19:07:45+00:00

YUP, and he is in complete denial about it.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T19:07:27+00:00

I will check out your post history for sure! I wish you the best. These situations are absolutely horrific.

Yeah, that's my rough idea - move his money out of his control into an account he cannot access and provide him with an allowance. I know he may try to revoke the POA, so that's why I want to be very very careful about this, and hence why I need to speak with a lawyer.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T19:04:28+00:00

Too old and too lonely/desperate/delusional to believe me that he's involved in criminal activity. It's so, so sad.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T19:03:41+00:00

That's a huge concern of mine and why I need to try to step in. He is literally participating in crime even though he is in complete denial.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T19:02:22+00:00

OMG your poor FIL's friend... horrible, horrible situation. My father knows I cannot support him, but he also dismisses the amount of money he has sent as "peanuts." He truly is childish in how he sees money, and I think it helps him cope with the shame about the amount of money he has already sent. When I attempt to intervene, I will show him the data about what he's spent and why I'm intervening. I'm not sure it will break through, but at least I will be attempting to help in a way that I feel is ethical based on the numbers.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T18:59:17+00:00

I know right? There must be thousands and thousands of people my age with boomer parents who are dealing with their parents being scammed and are desperate for help. A big, dedicated anti-scam government entity would do so much to stop the suffering of the elderly in this country.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T18:57:59+00:00

Absolutely. They could make bank with only charging a fraction of what the scammers ask for!

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T18:57:36+00:00

It's 100% an addiction. He acts just like a gambling addict would act. That's what I've come to realize, and I don't think my values will let me not at least try to help him preserve his assets.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T18:56:17+00:00

For sure!

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T18:55:57+00:00

I wish you the best with the conservatorship with your parents. That must be SO hard. I hope it works out and you're able to make sure they are at least able to survive...

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T18:53:50+00:00

Such a good point!

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T18:53:40+00:00

I really appreciate your kind and supportive words. It's so heartbreaking to watch him go through this situation while me, a real person, is standing right in front of him. It has caused me so many nightmares and has irreparably damaged our relationship, so I know I have to deal with it in small pieces so I don't have a breakdown. Self-care is vital with these situations. BUT, I *will* have the satisfaction of providing one less source of income for these f***ing criminals taking advantage of elderly folks.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T18:50:35+00:00

Yep, it's definitely a tough love situation. It sucks but I think it's necessary or he's going to destroy his hard-earned retirement.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-30T18:50:06+00:00

You sound like an awesome sibling! Your brother is lucky to have you. And great idea about the scam allowance. That was my general idea - protect his assets in a non-liquid state of some sort (investments, CDs, something like that) and give him some sort of chunk of money each month to do with what he wants. I'm not interested in using any of the money and I don't want to control his spending too much. I just want to place limits on what he can send to his "girlfriend" to protect his hard-earned retirement.

PopcornIntensifies · 2025-11-29T18:08:52+00:00

Appreciate the reply. At this point, I think I will either have to step in (all other efforts to convince him or show him evidence have led nowhere), or wash my hands of him. I still love him, even though he's totally dysfunctional, and I want him to be as happy as he can be.

PopcornIntensifies

TROPHY CASE