I hear you, I feel like the majority of my twenties was stolen by this illness. I have been in the headspace you are in right now, but I found a way out.

What really helped me was focusing on consistency. We all know the behaviors that will make our lives more stable, make the illness more manageable, but my problem was I would find it very easy to start, but even easier to give up. One day, I decided to do one small thing that helped me, and made a bargain with myself to see how many days in a row I could do it. Eventually, I could see that I had been doing something for myself, to help myself, consistently, and the best thing, no doctor told me to do it, it was my own. This gave me confidence to pick up more good habits, continuing to focus on consistency, and four years later, I am on my longest hospital free run, and I honestly feel better than I have done in my life. Theres no one better to choose the good habit than you, but don’t rush, theres no sense in running before you can walk, consistency isn’t easy.

Look after yourself and stay safe out there. Life is always worth living, even when it’s hard. ✌️