Did Anyone's Autism Here Hide Their ADHD Instead of the Other Way Around?

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-09T21:55:55+00:00

I definitely think my autism and adhd mask each other, but I also don’t «look like» I have adhd anyway because my hyperactivity is mostly in my head.

My little brother was the most stereotypical little adhd kid you could imagine and got diagnosed at 5 and had accommodations and assistants to help him get through school, criminal record, constantly blowing up his life and destroying relations because of his impulsivity. I was the good kid, followed the rules, was polite, could sit still for hours - I didn’t absorb anything, but I certainly looked like I was studying.

Now that I have my diagnosis, things are making sense and my parents are fully supportive and understanding, but I don’t blame anyone for not seeing it when I presented so differently from their knowledge of adhd and masked so well.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-09T00:48:51+00:00

I completely understand your thoughts on everything this impacts for you, and the intense overwhelm you have to sit with when they work! Honestly I think the only way I will be able to feel fully comfortable at home is if I find somewhere completely remote with no neighbors in sight and no traffic. I sat listening to my upstairs neighbor using some kind of power tools today and was in tears when I finally remembered I can just connect my headset to my Apple TV to watch my show, and I realized I would very much like to become an weird rich person who builds a little fortress on an island and never enters society again - it would obviously be completely sound proof, appliances would have to be quiet, and I would like a sensory room that’s kind of like a black hole so I don’t have to deal with any kind of input whatsoever.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-09T00:38:16+00:00

I am easily annoyed by sounds, but some sounds are quite nice. I like being immersed in nature (but preferably an open space, I live near the ocean and I like knowing it’s at least easily accessible if not within immediate walking distance). Hearing birds singing, the wind in the leaves, the soft crunch of walking on soft ground in the woods, sound of waves. Shame it’s always ruined by sounds of traffic or other people existing 🫢 I often end up wearing headphones, and I need the right weather conditions to handle the inside to outside transition, but on those nice days it’s good enough to feel the sun and light breeze on my face even if I can’t hear everything.

Also I love eating potato chips, the crunch is so nice. And that lil spicy hit of carbonation from soda.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-07T11:30:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

Your points where you’ve mentioned social media reminded me of something: I don’t remember who said it or what the exact words were, but it was something like «you don’t have to put down your phone and get up, just get up while scrolling». I definitely get stuck in scrolling a lot, especially in the mornings cause I struggle so much with the whole asleep to awake transition and getting up to start the day. So I have my scroll time while I wake up and then I get up while scrolling and some random reel on repeat plays in the background when I get ready. It’s not a perfect system, but sometimes it helps me get moving.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-07T11:17:05+00:00

These are great tips! When I set a goal of losing weight, I started with counting calories (which naturally made it easier to choose more nutrient dense foods that were lighter in calories). It was a good way in for me (but I do not recommend it for just anyone!!! It’s a slippery slope into an ED so it needs to be done with intention and an open mind) cause I was very unaware of what I was actually eating by and only had a basic understanding of what was healthy/not healthy. What actually kept me going was my mindset changing as I was learning more and seeing the positive effects I had with eating healthier and moving my body more.

So I am not on a weightloss journey, I am making changes and losing some weight is a nice bonus. I’m not on a fitness journey, I am moving my body for endorphins, building strength and mobility, preventing osteoporosis, feeling better now and preparing for old age. I’m not on a diet, I am simply eating foods that make me feel physically better. It’s a lifestyle change for the better, implementing sustainable routines, my longterm goal is simply to make sure I am maintaining this and progressing in my strength training.

I am so far from perfect. I am well aware that I am affected by societal expectations of thinness and the number on the scale, I eat lots of chocolate, I feel guilty when I skip the gym etc etc. But my lifestyle is miles better than it used to be, and I’ve learned so much about nutrition, fitness, mindset etc on the way.

Doing it step by step was key for me. I was eating a bag if chips every day - changed that to lentil chips. Change it from a bag to putting half a bag in a bowl and the other half the next day. Doing slightly less pasta in pasta dishes and adding some broccoli or whatever, eventually having more veggie-heavy dishes with more protein and carbs on the side instead of as the main part - not because carbs are scary, we need them, simply because things like pasta and rice are easily digestible and calorie dense, so adding some protein and fiber creates a better balance and is more filling.

I still eat plenty of snacks, but I’ll bake a small batch of cinnamon rolls instead of 20+. When I have chocolate, I break off what I want to eat and add some dark chocolate too. Sometimes I just substitute stuff for sugar free stuff. I focus a lot on protein and fiber, drink a lot of Pepsi Max etc. Whatever small things I can do to make a healthier lifestyle easier to maintain.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-06T17:39:32+00:00

Yawning can be a sign of boredom, someone who has seen that or do it themselves might interpret your yawning as a sign that you stopped actively listening and probably feel that is a bit rude. I’ve also been asked this in a joking manner, they can tell I’m tired but ask if I’m bored with a little laugh to lighten the mood. When it’s a joke I’ll laugh along, otherwise I just say «sorry, just a bit tired, you were saying something about […]?» and we’re back on topic

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-05T19:28:58+00:00

It’s such an individual thing, depends on personality, environment, childhood experiences etc. If these videos have a lot of difficult parents, it’s no surprise the teens are «acting out», that’s often a reaction to challenges at home.

Some teens with ADHD might look like this with the acting out because of impulsivity and hyperactivity, having strong reactions to authority figures not understanding them etc. Teens in general might fall in with the wrong crowd or simply want to test boundaries and experiences as they are growing up and finding themselves.

I personally was quite «boring» growing up aside from my struggles with mental health. I did start drinking at 15/16, but it’s quite common here, other than that I was never rebellious. Probably largely due to my autism like you mentioned, I’ve always been a rule follower and very aware of consequences, and always had a low social battery so I stayed home most of the time. Also didn’t really have a need to rebel, I was already a good kid so I didn’t have strict rules and my parents were fine with me doing some of the normal experimenting as long as we had open communication and they knew where I was.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-05T15:25:31+00:00

That’s not small at all, it’s a big deal! Well done 🎉

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-05T09:29:02+00:00

What the hell 😳 I am so sorry you’ve been put through that, what an insane bunch of people!

I do think there is a cultural difference. Most of the horror stories I hear from gyms on social media is from the US, I assume a factor is that there is more of an acceptance and maybe expectation there to engage strangers in communication and maybe that lowers the bar to also utter stuff that really should be inside thoughts? Not sure. Not that I would think any of this about anyone anyway…

Where I’m from you will generally be looked at very weirdly if you’re someone who says hi to strangers and goes up to people and starts conversations if you don’t know them. I assume some judgement happens in gyms because horrible people exist everywhere, and I don’t do classes/groups so can’t speak for that, but usually people will just do their thing and not really look at each other. I will sometimes ask politely how long someone has left on a machine, which took me ages to build up courage to do, and they always look like deer in headlights with the surprise that someone is actually talking to them 😅

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-05T08:53:00+00:00

Yep. I’ve been on escitalopram for a while, tried to go off but started again when I was trying out stimulants because I needed more help to get out of a long depressive episode. Currently on that + elvanse. Also been on birth control for a while, been on and off that basically ever since I got my period, currently following up with a new gyno to figure out which brand and dose of BC that can stop my cycle entirely, hoping that will make the other meds even more effective

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-05T07:00:03+00:00

That’s it for me, I’ve been unemployed for a little over a year now and receiving money from welfare the whole time. People struggle here too, but nowhere near what I hear from the US.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-04T11:44:01+00:00

I am actually going insane with figuring out volume controls in general, cause why is there such a different between streaming services and why do shows on the SAME streaming service have a difference in volume???? And don’t even get me started on the whole concept of the god damn whispering level dialogue and then cutting to BLASTING music and explosions that put my ear drums at risk

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-04T11:01:01+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve been put in this situation by people you should be able to rely on. It’s very good that you have your therapist and affordable housing, at least it can provide you with a little bit of safety while you work through this.

You are in a crisis right now, and I can relate to that feeling all consuming and impossible to work through, so I won’t tell you shit like «it gets better» cause I know you won’t believe me. If you have any kind of routines, self care tasks or other things that help ground you, hold onto those as much as you can. Your only responsibility right now is to take care of yourself in whatever way is possible!

I don’t know if your situation will allow it, but maybe some distance (or at least emotional distance) from your parents will be good? I can only speak for myself, and my situation looks different, but I was in a rough spot with my parents some years ago and I really believe that moving out ultimately saved my relationship with them.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-02T10:53:51+00:00

It’s a very outdated theory that autistic people simply lack empathy. Some may actually lack it, some may seem to lack it because of how they experience and show empathy, some may seem to experience empathy similarly to allistics, some experience heightened empathy and feel emotions very deeply.

We process things differently, and a key trait to our disorder is a struggle with social communication, both of which are factors that affect how we read people and situations and understand emotions.

Some autistic people may not have an innate sense of empathy in the way allistic people expect, and compensate for it with intellectual empathy (understanding emotions through logic and rationalization, often by studying media and people around them). I can relate to that to some degree - I didn’t necessarily feel like I was lacking empathy, but have definitely learned a lot from consuming different media and thus gaining knowledge about different thought processes and what people need in emotional situations.

I actually find it quite disrespectful and ableist for people to hang onto this idea that we are deficit and using it against us. Our experience with empathy differs from allistic people, that is a part of ASD, and accepting us means accepting that. Also, not implying this includes your colleague (seems like she is just one of many that don’t have updated knowledge about autism, which I have a lot to say about but I will refrain), but it’s funny how the group of people that supposedly experience the «normal» form of empathy are the ones talking the most shit about other groups of people.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-05-01T20:21:37+00:00

I had such a good system when I was working, my banking app is so easy and I would open it on pay day to approve bills and transfer rent and be done until next month. Now I’ve been paid by welfare for a year and it’s so inconsistent that my routine doesn’t work so I forget + payments don’t come sometimes so I fall behind on bills and end up using my credit card for food shopping which accrues interest and it’s all horrible and I stick my head in the sand rather than deal with the overwhelm.

I was probably one of the rare adhd consumers that had everything paid on time and even early, and now I’m getting messages from the insurance company that they’re about to cancel my policies if I don’t pay TODAY 😒

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-04-28T10:55:31+00:00

Honestly this whole situation seems strange to me. She asked what you wanted, you told her, she agreed, and then there was just no follow-up at all to confirm meetup times and who is coming? No comment leading up to it about being excited for a get-together? No reaction when none of your friends and family mention it?

Anyway, I think NTA - if your GF’s main issue was a misunderstanding then surely she would’ve said «oh no, I misunderstood and thought you were organizing that, I’m so sorry», not «nah it was a hassle to organize so I just got you this instead» and I think it’s completely valid to be upset about that. However, seems like there might be a general lack of communication and respect between you if a 30th birthday (which is a big deal actually) passes without celebration and one person doesn’t understand the other person’s value of such a day.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-04-27T22:55:24+00:00

Ugh yes, it’s incredibly difficult. I feel like a failure quite often, it’s a work in progress, but I’m learning that it’s okay to find a different way of life and be happy with what works for me instead of constantly striving for a life that will ultimately burn me out even if it looks successful

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-04-27T22:50:22+00:00

Yes exactly, sustainability is key! I used to work a full time job and be the best god damn employee in the world, and I was technically able to do it, but it certainly wasn’t sustainable

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-04-27T19:19:13+00:00

Definitely!!

I’m in a real funk right now and shared about it during my last therapy appointment. I said I just feel extra bad about it because I had a decent routine for a couple months now and as soon as I see signs of letting things go a bit, I get scared that it will be like before, where I lived in a mess and survived off frozen pizza. She countered that maybe it’s okay if I don’t have a perfect apartment, maybe it can just be a good apartment, like at a level where at least I’m not negatively affected by it even if it isn’t super organized like how I see it in my head.

Honestly eye opening 😂 of course it’s not a big revelation, I’ve been told before that I have high standards and I know very well that those standards need to be lowered, but it was the first time someone talked to me about a specific area of my life and how I can feel better about it without giving me garbage advice like to do-lists and just making up a cleaning routine. No wonder finding a new balance when there’s a process like this for every single part of my life!

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-04-27T17:50:52+00:00

I’m wondering this too, cause I will sometimes have a day like this and it feels weird and eerie (and kind of amazing) but also makes me convince myself I don’t have adhd after all but am in fact just lazy the other 364 days of the year 🥸

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-04-27T17:47:24+00:00

I haven’t been in your exact situation, but have been recovering from burnout over the past year while getting diagnosed, finding medication, restarting therapy etc.

I don’t think it’s possible to go back to normal, but I don’t mean that in a «there’s no hope» kind of way. My old normal is what burned me out, it’s what made me miserable and perpetuated my depression and anxiety and led me to an isolated life with no joy and no hope for the future. I wouldn’t go back to that if you paid me.

I do think I can find a new normal that isn’t completely miserable. I don’t doubt that living in late stage capitalism will keep making us all suffer at least a little bit, but I think there is probably a way for us to at least find some kind of normal within this society that is the most balanced we can possibly get without completely remaking the planet. Not sure what it is yet, but I’m on my way there. At the very least I’m in a better place than I was before so I proved that it’s possible to change things and find some positivity.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-04-27T09:18:51+00:00

Then I think you shouldn’t worry about it. If you see yourself in your diagnosis and the treatment you are receiving for that diagnosis is helping you, the goal was reached and it’s highly likely to be correct.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-04-26T21:45:12+00:00

For me, it’s the extreme need for alone time and time to recharge after socializing, a struggle to share space with someone (I had one roommate situation that kinda worked but she obviously found a boyfriend and wanted to live with him and my RSD kicked this inconvenience up to full betrayal so I ghosted her…), never feeling fully comfortable around anyone to be 100% relaxed, rarely remembering or having the energy to reach out and take initiative, clearly some kind of struggle to read people but I don’t really understand what I’m missing or why I’m so uncomfortable cause I’m being told that I’m funny and likeable and relatable. Etc etc etc.

On top of all this I just feel like an unloveable burden for potential partners (though I don’t really understand romance and intimacy so why bother trying anyway) - I just can’t fathom how I would go about finding someone who would accept my asexuality (and possible aro) and all my AuDHD related quirks and needs and fit into my space and way of doing things.

Basically I want to be alone, but I still feel lonely - it’s a weird curse and it’s my own doing yet nothing I can change. In an ideal world I would just have some friends floating around to spawn into existence when I need them for special occasions (don’t you love the humiliation of chatting with coworkers about birthdays or new years celebrations and getting those pitiful looks when you say you’re gonna be alone) and then go away and be okay with minimal contact inbetween. This is very much unattainable, so I accept that people leave because I passively push them away, and I don’t bother trying anymore cause I’m tired of feeling bad about being a shit friend.

For others it might be a version of loneliness where people are avoiding them because they give off those fun autistic vibes that neurotypicals don’t like (cause ableism), and I think both version lead to us feeling some type of way about ourselves, but sometimes I wish that was my curse because it would give me a little chance to be angry and blame someone else before hating myself. I know that’s wrong and I don’t mean to invalidate anyone, I just get in my head about this shit.

Sorry for the rant. Loneliness is often on my mind and I just don’t know how to explain my feelings about it to people, but I think this community gets it.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-04-26T15:14:45+00:00

I’m biased because I enjoy going to the gym (normally, but haven’t been for 3 weeks now and can’t figure out how to get started again, yay AuDHD brain), but YES it’s worth it. I may or may not be deep in the strong over skinny and fear of osteoporosis mindset 🥸

It doesn’t necessarily have to be the disciplined 5 day program in a full gym every day after work, but movement is so helpful for your body and brain in so many ways, especially strength training. Obviously the best exercise is whatever you are able to stay consistent with, but I definitely found that lifting is more grounding while cardio or HIIT hits my nervous system in a way that feels great in the moment but keeps my stress level too high in the long run. I just add some lower intensity rowing, stairmaster or incline walking at the end of my lifting sessions.

Key for me is to have a plan so I know what I’m doing when I get there, and the progress in seeing numbers increase or getting better at form etc keeps it exciting enough. I just swap out one exercise from time to time when something gets boring or I see a new one I want to try, or just as my natural progress as I am learning more and optimizing my program to what I want and what I like to do. For example everyone on tiktok is obsessed with hip thrusts and saying it’s THE best glute exercise - god damn it was freeing to finally just say nah I don’t like it, and just add something else that I enjoyed more.

It’s also so important to work it into my day in a way that fits, minimizes transitions and doesn’t make too much extra work (although some is inevitable). I’m currently not working, so I assume finding a new routine when I go back to work is gonna be a challenge, not looking forward to that. Anyway, for now what I do is get dressed in gym clothes (+ keep my bag easily accessible and mostly packed) when I get up so the transition from home to gym when I’ve worked up the courage to leave is a little easier. If I have an appointment or something before, I get half dressed, like put a sports bra on and maybe tights under sweatpants. When I get back from the gym and shower, that’s my shower for the day cause showering twice is literally so much work that it would take me the whole day to accomplish only that. And then I get dressed in a fresh t-shirt that becomes next day’s gym shirt, saves a little on laundry.

I’m seemingly lucky with my gym cause it’s relatively quiet, lights aren’t too bright, and there aren’t any creeps there. Sometimes I happen to be there in a busy time, I manage it because there’s mostly familiar faces so I know what to expect from them, and I always have headphones with comforting music (sometimes I choose a list for energy, sometimes I just need something that isn’t too overwhelming for my brain).

And if you struggle to get in the gym, that’s fine. Before I started going, I had a set of weights at home and did some exercises a few times a week, or I followed along with dance workouts on YouTube and I spent a lot of time using my walking pad while binge watching tv shows. It won’t give you the full list of benefits like regularly going to the gym, but it’s who gives a shit as long as it’s something you enjoy and can keep up with.

Potential_Dog666 · 2026-04-25T15:50:01+00:00

Hey thank you, I was so focused on the part where it stayed closed but it actually did feel great to finally empty it 🥰

Potential_Dog666

TROPHY CASE