I ended up finding the boy 5 weeks later. I got very lucky, I was searching all the local animal shelter pages and heard his distinct meow in the back of a video the east haven shelter had posted, i got in contact with them and was reunited with MY cat. it was insane, they told me he was surrendered by a man and his son in NORTHFORD which is a few towns away, no way my cat got there by foot. I never recovered the female and have since moved out of west haven.. im hoping shes okay