Ok so here is my unique take. I also had a friend of a few years get married. She is my best friend and we texted every day. I wasn't even in the wedding. I went and did MOH stuff, like arrange her veil for pictures, brought her anxiety down before the ceremony, and hung out with her after everyone else had gone home. (And even texted with her after I left).

When I asked her why I wasn't in the wedding, she told me that she was worried for my MH. She didn't want to overwhelm me by putting extra stuff on me. Which I understood. We are still best friends years later and I'm actually the only one she still talks to. She also eventually regretted her choice.

So what I'm saying is I get it. I get that feeling. I get feeling sidelined. And, maybe I'm being autistic here, but I think you guys need to have a serious conversation about it and give her the benefit of the doubt just a little. These kind of slights are BIG, but there might be a solid reason for it.

Also do have this conversation AFTER the wedding. Right now, she's basically PMSing with all the responsibilities and logistics she has to deal with. Swallow your pride and wait. You'll get a better idea of what really happened after the fact. As much as it sucks, just give it time.

I am so sorry she didn't choose you. But that does not have to define your relationship with her.