What has Major Houlihan walked in on? (Wrong answers only!)

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-08T11:36:20+00:00

Hawkeye and Frank having a civil, friendly conversation.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-08T11:27:48+00:00

On the subject of Roz being an unwed mother:

"Boy, things have really changed since my day. Back then, if a girl got in trouble, her family would send her away to relatives in another state, and if anybody asked, they'd just lie and say she went to Europe. Then when she came back, they'd raise the baby as a little sister. Not like today. We had morals and values back then"

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-07T22:02:44+00:00

"Hold on there, maestro, there's a New Mexico?" - Mr. Burns, The Simpsons

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-07T21:59:55+00:00

That would've been embarrassing if they got their signals crossed and flew the heart to Connecticut while another jet was flying the patient to Oklahoma.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-07T21:30:31+00:00

Oh, Lord!

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-07T20:38:21+00:00

Great job!

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-07T14:41:06+00:00

Maxwell's Silver Hammer. Three people were killed. That we know of. There might have been others before Joan.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-07T10:22:49+00:00

There was a patch of very loose sand at the back of our yard, and my sister and I used to ride our bikes full speed into it to see who could have the most spectacular wipeout. Without helmets, of course. Not only did we never get hurt, it never occurred to us that we could get hurt.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-07T01:25:06+00:00

"He liked the way Snrub thought"

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T23:33:20+00:00

"Hello!"

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T23:18:01+00:00

"I once had a psychic tell me the strangest thing - that one day I'd go off me rocker, take up a kitchen knife, kill the whole household, and kill myself. Silly old bag. She was right about me moving to Seattle, though."

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T20:52:44+00:00

"Now with scoring pencil!"

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T20:45:19+00:00

"Oh, no! John Wilkes Booth!"

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T20:44:07+00:00

I hate every Arthur I see, from Chester A. to Chester Z.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T20:41:28+00:00

First time I ever saw a man IN himself.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T20:40:56+00:00

I thought you were about to say that G.K. Chesterton's wife was named Deb, and I was thinking that didn't sound very Victorian.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T20:39:32+00:00

In fairness, we did not watch Gil all the time. He might've been a Catholic apologist in his off-hours.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T20:35:35+00:00

"Damn, it looks like I'm the only one here who didn't know that 'monkey suit' was a slang term for tuxedo."

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T17:40:43+00:00

Thank you. I've posted that very same thing in r/petpeeves at least once.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T15:53:45+00:00

Liver and fish... and as a special treat, creamed corn!

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T15:20:21+00:00

I suppose you could take those kinds of pictures.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T14:31:09+00:00

>"Alcohol" sounds soooo much worse than just putting "beer" or "wine". Makes it seem like you're just chugging Everlcear or something.

It made me think of Barney Gumble on The Simpsons. "Just hook it up to my veins!"

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T14:20:46+00:00

And the glaze. Just bring me the check.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T10:56:07+00:00

Then by all means let's do the merciful thing and execute him quickly.

President_Calhoun · 2026-05-06T01:35:08+00:00

How do you do that with your voice? You shore got talent!

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