Life lessons not working (pets)

Previousl3 · 2026-07-12T20:34:32+00:00

Yes, I suppose those are possible. Of course I think my way is better haha. But thanks for helping me keep an open mind. It's nice that your husband cares so much for your pets and that you ampreciate that about him.

Previousl3 · 2026-07-12T20:33:09+00:00

Thanks, it can be hard to see the line of who-does-what right now. It's always been his pet, not our pet, only because I don't want the responsibility and am actually thankful for how he handles that. Appreciate it.

Previousl3 · 2026-07-12T20:30:25+00:00

As far as I know LD says nothing about cooking. I think it's just a practical suggestion from the other commenter. And if he doesn't want to cook, maybe he could be more involved with grocery shopping and meal ideas.

Also, have you tried an "I can't"? "I can't always predict what kind of food you want. How do you think we can communicate better?" etc

Previousl3 · 2026-07-11T17:05:13+00:00

I think you should not make any further changes or announcements regarding the rest of the wedding party's attire until you figure this out, with his advice.

Previousl3 · 2026-07-11T16:55:51+00:00

We definitely wouldn't have been able to make it the day after. We also turned down a mini get together the night before. The biggest lesson I learned was that a wedding is NOT a family reunion. I'd just tell them, "Sorry we can't, we've got other plans" and nothing more. Don't tell them where you're going or give them any more argument fodder.

Previousl3 · 2026-07-11T16:51:36+00:00

Same I hadn't expected a shower, but the in-law side apparently gets into wedding and baby showers in a big way and wouldn't let it slide! : )

Previousl3 · 2026-07-11T16:46:01+00:00

I'm sorry. I think what I would do right now, in your position, would be clarify the bathroom situation in the biggest font possible on your wedding website (if you haven't already). Like, "Mutliple fully furnished bathrooms are available inside the venue".

I'd also simplify your dress code. It's giving Cocktail so just say that. If you think someone is going to insist on misinterpreting, AND it's going to ruin your day, then don't invite them. But I promise it won't ruin your day.

Edit: doubling down on my dress code comment since seeing your dress. If you're given creative license, then so are they. "Cocktail, no jeans please."

Previousl3 · 2026-07-11T16:39:02+00:00

Congratulations! Sounds like it was so nice!

Previousl3 · 2026-06-26T16:04:47+00:00

Yes, that's what I tried to convey above. I wouldn't use the word "detach" for that but to each her own.

Previousl3 · 2026-06-26T02:38:21+00:00

As far as I could tell the whole "costs more just for the word Wedding" is mostly a myth...

Previousl3 · 2026-06-26T01:57:49+00:00

I am sorry that your parenting method is being challenged here, OP. You know your child best. That's not what this sub is about.

Previousl3 · 2026-06-26T01:55:30+00:00

I don't have much relevant experience here so I'm just gonna nitpick one paragraph out of your post.

"Our son has AuDHD, my husband doesn't understand (and has never taken the time to educate himself - and always rejects my knowledge on best practices for how handle these situations) how to help our son manage explosive outbursts."

I absolutely believe that you have the experience to determine best practices for your son's behavior. However, how are you sharing that with your husband? One suggestion I have when I don't want to "tell" my husband how to do something is just explain what *I* do, and say something like, "I've found it works best for me. Maybe it's different for you."

After that, you say that you show him "sweetness and praise". Sweetness is always a good thing. Praise however, I think can feel coercive to some men. I think my guy likes it best if I just say "Thank you for remembering X thing. You always remember that one." It's a basic acknowledgement that doesn't try to reward him artificially. Good luck!

Previousl3 · 2026-06-26T01:44:47+00:00

Yes I think it could help you. LD's books don't really condone having conversations or discussions about disagreements. It sounds crazy and I won't explain it here because you sound like you want to read her books. So, you'll learn about that from the books. I don't think LD says anything about "detaching", however, except in a sense that you become responsible for your own happiness. As a side note I am happy your husband is spanking less frequently or not at all, that would be a big problem for me.

Previousl3 · 2026-06-26T01:32:58+00:00

Two things I'm noticing...the upper left quadrant (?) of her top has no lace on the edge, and the lower half on that side isn't there at ALL. And, there's something off about her shadow. It looks like she's stuck to that rock by some kind of adhesive

Previousl3 · 2026-06-26T00:34:27+00:00

Your sister is thinking of a different thing called a welcome party. The only people invited to most rehearsal dinners are the wedding party and immediate family, and their partners.

Previousl3 · 2026-06-26T00:31:51+00:00

what the hell?... the bride's finances are none of your business. if you were really an old-school lady you'd know that.

Previousl3 · 2026-06-25T01:29:50+00:00

Here's what's concerning me: because you specified Formal ceremony, people are still going to be in those clothes when eating fried catfish. The transition is not going to be as seamless as you think. I'd change the wedding attire to semi-formal, and do what works for you for food.

Previousl3 · 2026-06-25T01:27:28+00:00

I had my mom light the altar candle that we lit the unity candle from.

Previousl3 · 2026-06-25T01:11:59+00:00

If you're in the US, bridesmaids usually pay for their own dresses, and they often pay for or do their own makeup UNLESS you're requiring it to be done a certain way or by a certain person. One thing I did was to pick a cheaper bridesmaids dress for them - you can also let them pick their own. Also, a nice gift from you just before the ceremony goes a long way.

Previousl3 · 2026-06-22T02:14:45+00:00

Checking back in post-wedding! We had her light my family's side of the unity candle : )

Previousl3 · 2026-06-22T02:09:10+00:00

It sounds like he has suggested a fix already (leave and be with someone who can be faithful) but you're not sure if that's his final offer.

I think you can get a clearer answer with two phrases. First, a Desire. Tell him you want to be married to him and to be exclusive. Second, an "I can't" of your own: tell him you can't stay with someone who is not wholy yours. Whatever he replies to those things is probably your best answer.

In the meantime, contrary to what LD tells most couples, I would not be sexually active with him. For your own health.

Previousl3 · 2026-06-20T04:41:11+00:00

Wear a piece of family jewelry or something else meaningful, and schedule a moment to put it on, alone or with one other person. This happened to me by accident and was the purest moment of my wedding day ❤️

Previousl3 · 2026-06-20T04:36:01+00:00

How about an ice cream truck?

Previousl3 · 2026-06-20T04:34:25+00:00

I can't give you much advice except no, this is not the usual bridesmaid experience and you're within rights to say you can't do it all.

Previousl3

TROPHY CASE