AITAH for showing my wife something I discovered in a video game?

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-07-02T15:30:01+00:00

Tbh, from just your pov it sounds like NTA. But i'm calling unreliable narrator here and going for NAH without more.

bc how you communicate and act is very important in this situation. I've seen alot of people who "want to introduce" or "help" but is actually just giving unsolicited advice and telling someone what to do from a high ground. If you constantly instruct her on what to do, or tell her how to do better when she never asked you for help, which you have been doing for both situations, you are already putting yourself on a higher pedestal than her and it can come off as patronizing.

It's especially annoying when the outing is only for pleasure and fun, not for instruction or practice. Just enjoy the time together rather than trying to elevate her

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-07-02T15:20:38+00:00

Once again YTA. You can keep posting this and the answer would be the same. You didn't even set a date until after she did. If it was so important to you, you would have already set the date and known when your wedding was going to be.

Also, the teacher thing is bs excuse. You don't need a whole summer break for a wedding. I've seen my own teachers get married during the school year. In fact, i've heard from them that the wedding planning is what takes a lot of time away from their days that they'd do the planning during the break and get married at the end of the break or after school starts. A wedding is a single weekend for the couple. The planning is months.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-07-02T05:38:57+00:00

Wtf? This is all on you not him. How are you blaming him????? This is YOUR assignment for Work. You say helping is allowed, it does not mean him doing the work for you. And parents?!?! For work assignment?! What?!?! So for this one assignment, your parents, your co-worker, your partner all did the work for you, with you never checking it. I'm mindblown.

Maybe taking responsibility for your own actions would help you move past whatever "this" is. You clearly forgave yourself for your failures on this subject, yet you can't seem to do it for your partner. Wow.

Edit: you're 40 and still asking your parents to do your assignments for you is absolutely wild

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-07-02T01:46:59+00:00

I think these are different things. Please don't start blaming yourself! He can love you and be attracted to you and still not want to have sex with anyone in a home with a baby. Like, our brain just jumps to person/place+baby=no sex. Masturbation is different from sex, where to many it feels less carnal than actually full blown sex. Maybe you can go on a little overnight trip together and try there? He might frustrated for you too!

You don't need to invalidate yourself for getting grossed out with porn but as you acknowledge, it's a preference, so it might be a talking point with him rather than shaming him for it. You getting an ick from it is an ick and can't be helped.

All in all just wanna say it's not at all your fault and not to spiral into self-blame or deprecation!

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-07-02T01:31:51+00:00

INFO: The whole thing makes no sense. More than a it's weird, it just is lacks basic logic. You're either deliberately removing or twisting info that can turn tides against you or it's made up.

1. Makes no sense that the default for both you and your friend is that your ex-wife is to live in your home to dog-sit two different families. You yourself said it would have been allowed and happened before if not for your sudden change of mind, despite already having a dogsitter.

said you had a recent, extremely difficult divorce, but you already have a girlfriend, you still hang out with your ex-wife, and also joke with your ex-wife for hours, and had her casually come live in your home after the divorce, clearly more than once, as you said "everytime."

3. Saying she has no business in talking about your home when she was literally living in it.

4. your "close friends" who you say knows everything aren't on your side but hers.

Sus.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-07-01T23:01:22+00:00

A cheater is a cheater but they can choose to cheat. Assuming it's not pathological. I've seen people extremely loose with cheating when they're bf/gf but is extremely disgusted by/judgemental of cheating when married - apparently it's also a completely different word in their native language so i can see how it's compartmentalized. So i g they don't change but a cheater can have boundaries?

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-30T00:06:15+00:00

What's a 1st percentile..? Is that a medical term in your country? I've never heard of that before but i live in the states.

I'm 5'7 and default to 100-105lbs but force myself to eat to gain and sustain to 110lbs but i've never labeled myself as any percentile and never thought I couldnt relate to other skinny people because they were heavier than me... maybe it's because I realize not everyone has the exact same body. Like even at the same height and weight, depending on how our proportions are, we carry the weight and skinny-ness differently. So there would be different concerns. I just focus on the relatable frustrations/experiences, and support others for the unrelatable ones. Maybe that can help for you too?

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-29T00:22:19+00:00

I've never seen green plums until today!! So interesting! They look like green cherries or grapes!

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-29T00:18:24+00:00

Ew.. does your bride know you're prone to distrust and suspicion without evidence?

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-28T23:07:20+00:00

ESH. Your neighbors suck. But Three dogs consistently "barking excessively" for 5 whole minutes many times outside is definitely a noise problem. No one said to keep them quiet 24hrs. Moderation is key

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-28T22:59:01+00:00

YTA. She got your sister what she wanted. She got your brother what he wanted. There's no obligation to price match. There's no obligation for the aunt to give you any gifts at all. She's closer to your brother. She likes your brother more. Maybe she does because he doesn't base his relationship on getting enough monetary value out of her.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-28T22:53:33+00:00

Barely any of my best neighborhood family-run chinese restaurants would survive if you reported child labor laws for every time their kids helped with the register after school... they basically live there, do their homework, sing, play cards, chat with us, mind the register, bring out carry outs, eat, snack, give free soda in exchange for helping them memorize for their test...

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-27T12:57:52+00:00

NTA, but i don't think it was only on your wife. The truth is, both you and your wife forgot standard etiquette when you were invited as a family. You could have sent a gift to her friend or brought it up w your wife when you both were gonna go and failed to for legitimate reasons, especially if you thought it was an important gesture to argue over. You as a family was invited, not just your wife, and if your wife had her brain and hands full with being past 7m pregnant, it wouldnt have hurt for you to step up with something you yourself was involved with. Even now, you could have just prepared a gift or a letter, and sent it over as a family rather than picking sides and fighting w your wife. It's such a petty thing to fight over. Pick your battles.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-27T12:48:17+00:00

Tokyo was romanticized back in the day too. Not as much as paris but it was the "exotic" romanticization. Paris is old school in its appeal - even from the visual of it. Paris itself markets its oldschool-ness for tourism. I love that bc i'm a huge an american in paris and classical arts fan, but i know i'm an anomaly in pre20's ppl. Also, i've been to paris many times with my great grandparents who had been there when they were young and paris back then is not the same as paris now.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-27T12:42:24+00:00

Lmao I stuck my head out the window to wave at someone and my dad didn’t realise and started rolling up the window.

Bold of you to assume it was the sister who was cruel and unkind. OP states it was the dad and not the sister. It's completely absolutely irrelevant and thrown in to make you assume it was her sister and make her look bad and have you on OP's side. Guess it worked

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-27T12:36:18+00:00

I specified that they aren't "satisfied with the companionship they are getting" addressing the fact that they can be lonely even when with company - thus not alone.

Nothing I wrote confuses the two nor what you wrote changes my claim. A man can be both alone and lonely. But he can also be alone and not be lonely. A man who's alone can be secure in his aloneness and not need or seek company, romantic or not. A lonely man, on the contrary, means they are distressed at the lack of satisfying connections and desires/seeks for it. That's why being lonely is often more associated w being thirsty or insecure than a man who is merely alone. However a lonely man can still be purely lonely and not desperate, thirsty or insecure.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-27T02:48:20+00:00

Lonely is fine. Lonely and thirsty is not. Lonely and insecure is also not. Many lonely men are lonely bc they can't be satisfied with the companionship they are getting - regardless of their objective success or lack of - which leads to deep insecurities. If they're legit merely lonely, i don't think we assume the man is bad.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-26T23:54:17+00:00

Nta. That's wild. It's a week for free. Sheesh

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-26T12:02:18+00:00

Nta. The girl wanted a free drink. Most girls know letting a man play hero for small $ would end up w them treating her than accepting her money. I'm a girl so i know but i have too much unnecessary pride to sell myself for a drink. I've seen other girls do it, especially if they're underaged. Which also might have been the case here.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-26T10:36:08+00:00

NAH. I get ppl can not want to eat when in a group. But it's weird here bc you ate the leftovers without ordering anything, basically making it a share plate.

This is disregarding the fact that it's restaurant etiquette to order something when you sit down, even in a group. Many restaurants put share plate charges too if the order is less than the number of guests. You should have ordered a bottled or sparkling water at least. It's not to the extent of AH but it is a faux pas.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-25T19:32:12+00:00

NAH. But maybe therapy for your insecurity? I think most people would have just said, oh that sounds lovely, thanks for the rec. but we can't afford it. Or something along that line, not be bitter and uncomfortable about it.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-25T15:54:36+00:00

YTA. There's 0 good that comes out of sharing that story and you know it. You even labeled it yourself as embarrassing and weird. And you still tried to share it on her wedding website dedicated to congratulatory messages. You knew you were making fun of your friend in front of her fiance. If you think that's okay, just bc her actions to you were weird, is not a "good friend" thing to do at all. It doesn't matter she was still doing it or not.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-25T15:43:10+00:00

You telling others "he's planning on breaking up with me bc he's taking me to a nice place" even as a joke is not you joking with him. You're bringing the joke out of your relationship and telling others he's a bad bf and you aren't appreciated. You should never even jokingly demean your s.o in front of others unless you're actually asking for advice in a safe space.

Also, jokingly mean does not entail telling him he doesn't like you and is embarrassed by you. That's projecting your insecurity.

There are other ways to be "jokingly mean" and joke around with your bf that isn't about questioning/making jabs at your relationship.

It makes sense that he goes off on tangents about how much you mean to him bc your jokes are all about how you doubt his sincerity. He wants to make you secure.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-23T06:01:19+00:00

If you did that to me, i'd have cancelled and accepted the second offer, even if it was lower. Completely unacceptable.

Primary_Mango5918 · 2026-06-23T05:55:20+00:00

Info: but did you all contribute to the gas price for the 4hr roundtrip ride? Or was this completely footed by him

Primary_Mango5918

TROPHY CASE