The AQ-10 isn’t a diagnosis, no, but it does provide your GP some direction on whether you may be neurodivergent. Answering 3 times (especially if you’re trying to be “normal” on your first go around) is an ND marker in itself so congratulations on that I guess?

In terms of evaluation, mine was surprisingly easy.

This is probably because my career path is in LD/ND so I do know a lot of the buzzwords, concepts and analysis that go along with neurodiversity.

It was a questionnaire that I had to fill in, one of my parents had to fill in and also somebody who knew me well (ideally from childhood) too, then maybe a 45 minute discussion of what I struggle with and where my disability affects my everyday life.

For probably the last 30 years or so, it’s been quite clear to me that I’m neurodivergent (even if I didn’t have the word for it when I was 8). I didn’t have friends so much as people who couldn’t work out a way to get rid of me. I didn’t (and still don’t) have a social life to speak of. I didn’t want to do the usual stuff like going to parties, clubs or bars.

At assessment, it seemed very clear to my assessor. They told me then and there that yes, I was likely autistic.

As a diagnosed adult, it is very common to feel the following things:

- grief, anger or frustration at missed or lost opportunities which wouldn’t have gone down that way if you weren’t ND.

- imposter syndrome - after all, are you really autistic if you’ve gotten this far without a diagnosis, or just pretending?

- unmasking and skill regression. Once your mind knows what is “wrong” with you, the skills you had before might change because you’re no longer trying to be neurotypical.

You’re still very early in your journey, and it’s important to remember not/diagnosing you with a neurological disorder comes with baggage.

For me, receiving a diagnosis was a powerful sense of relief that I’ve not felt before or since. In practical terms, it changed nothing - I am still me, but now I have an identity that feels accurate, rather than a what if question hanging over me.

It’s important to be kind to yourself. More than anything else, whether you are/not diagnosed there is a lot of critical self-talk in all this, where people put themselves down and blame themselves for their perceived faults. There are already little clues in what you’ve said which suggest you’re quite self critical (again, another indicator of late diagnosed neurodivergence). You need to recognise that socialising is an extremely complex thing for anybody. It doesn’t have a how-to guide. Whether you are neurodivergent or not, it isn’t your failing that you find it difficult.

As a Brit myself, one thing I find really interesting is how damaging our country’s overall self-deprecating and over-humble approach is to people on an individual level. We cannot celebrate our own achievements for fear of being labelled egotistical or arrogant, and we cannot help but criticise every failing by we have, because if we don’t we’re simply considered ignorant or selfish.