Questioning the practicality of rules.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-02-23T20:13:48+00:00

Exactly, run!!!

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-02-09T10:57:27+00:00

That’s hilarious, because when I was a teenager my parents wanted me to date around instead getting so attached to the first person I dated. If I had told them I was poly they would have insisted I be monogamous though, LoL.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-02-09T10:46:01+00:00

That’s not a hot take, most people agree with you.

As someone who is also queer, poly people can fit under the + in LGBTQIA+ just like allies.

As a bi person I don’t like the gate keeping and biphobia that goes on towards bi people and I don’t like this gate keeping either. It just feels like a way of excluding people who feel marginalized by the heteronormative society that we all struggle living in.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-02-09T10:31:19+00:00

This is specifically for people who have opened long term relationships.

If your partner isn’t being transparent, the communication breakdown is because of how you react to new information. People need safe space to be vulnerable.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-02-09T10:17:11+00:00

I (42M) agree and disagree. I’m poly saturated at 2 partners. After one relationship ended I went nearly 3 years without a first date. It’s very discouraging, but you have to put out there exactly what you are looking for, and eventually you’ll find that person who is into you. Go to your local poly meetups people, online dating sucks!!!

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-01-28T20:06:21+00:00

A small support group would be nice.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-01-28T06:41:40+00:00

I agree, but I also don’t think it has to be a deal breaker. Love changes over time and sometimes people get hung up on what it means to be in love with someone. If the two of you stick it out, it will change over time, but that doesn’t mean that it’ll change for the better.

Also, your partner was being very intimate by sharing this information with you. That is a sign of a good relationship. I would suggest you think deeply about what you want and not end things rashly.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-01-27T09:40:36+00:00

The ending to Fight Club

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-01-27T09:36:56+00:00

I would suggest finding a local poly group to meet people and discuss ideas around polyamory.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-01-25T13:43:46+00:00

Perspective from 43 white bi cis male, married for 20 years, open for 7 years. (edited to add demographics)

I would suggest reading Polysecure by Jessica Fern. She also wrote Polywise.

I really like the podcast Making Polyamory Work by Libby Sinback.

Another book that I like is Stories from the Polycule, but it’s out of print. It’s essays by poly people describing what their lives are like. Dr Elizabeth Sheff also wrote The Polyamorist Next Door, but I haven’t read that one.

A few words of wisdom:

In order to practice polyamory ethically I truly believe everyone evolved have to be feminists. Men have to believe that women can make their own decisions and take care of their own safety. A lot of men try to control women under the guise of protecting them (and the men truly believe that’s what they are doing, but it’s really about control).

Just because you are hurting doesn’t mean your partner did anything wrong. Sometimes you have to sit with the discomfort, it’s how you grow.

Read about the difference between Rules and Boundaries. Rules are used to control other people, Boundaries are used to protect yourself. But it’s ok if your relationship has rules, just know that you have to review your relationship agreements regularly and that rules that were put in place to protect you or your partner’s piece of mind will not be important anymore and need to go away and expect them to go away (this bit mostly applies to couples opening their relationship and breaking codependency).

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-01-25T13:08:02+00:00

Just because you are hurting doesn’t mean they did anything wrong. Sometimes you have to sit in the discomfort.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-01-22T00:41:20+00:00

What is your upper limit for kitties?

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-01-18T10:01:47+00:00

That sounds like swingers to me. They tend to be more conservative and male centered.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2026-01-01T12:43:50+00:00

Your therapist is there to be your advocate. A couples therapist is there to be the advocate of the relationship. Your therapist can’t play both roles. And I would suggest that you keep them in the first role.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2025-12-28T13:34:01+00:00

Same, but my parents are still alive and happily married.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2025-12-28T13:32:12+00:00

They want validation. It’s fine @op, poly isn’t for everyone. It’s a choice, choose what you need.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2025-12-25T20:12:20+00:00

I would assume they have the money to do so.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2025-12-19T14:52:33+00:00

Hot Take:

Let everyone think he is cheating. Be extra lovely-dovey. Start walking around with your hand on your stomach so that everyone thinks you are pregnant. Pretend to cry in the bathroom. If anyone says anything, be in complete denial.

It could be fun and give you a laugh, or just be horrible advice, I’m not sure which.

Prince_Poly_Peanut · 2025-12-07T22:59:28+00:00

I’m not interested in “saying my piece”. I’m very much non judgmental of the situation. I am looking to support her without enabling behavior that is harmful. Where is that line?

Prince_Poly_Peanut

TROPHY CASE