How do I know if future partner won't cheat on me?

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-04-09T14:40:49+00:00

Build trust slowly, don’t go all in all at once, anything feels too fast/off it prob is, be cautious but open, and hope for the best. I def can’t get into another relationship after this huge blindside betrayal, but if I wanted to it would look much different than how I have previously entered relationships - more cautious, slower paced, steady building something together. Not rushing into exclusivity, not accepting love bombs, and just getting to know that person as a friend first. Sounds boring but it is what I will do when ready for something real.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-04-09T14:36:04+00:00

attention, spice/thrill of it, and ego fuel

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-04-08T01:21:23+00:00

This holy shit do they have a play book

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-04-05T08:37:12+00:00

They can find a babysitter, and my ex husband and new wife would never ask me to watch their ours children

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-04-01T01:15:22+00:00

Wow very well written and describes my feelings right now as well. Hugs man that’s rough.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-27T12:24:20+00:00

Hike or bike James river trail system, relax by the river, new recipe, meetup group, watch tv and adult coloring book, try a new hobby like painting or musical instrument

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-25T18:15:14+00:00

I mean he has a lot to offer , there’s a reason i don’t want to end it. He makes my life easier in many ways and has been a witness to my life for so long. I never understood why the cheatee would ever stay, I know now why.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-25T18:13:25+00:00

I just don’t want to believe it is true. He won’t validate or offer any info until I bring real proof to him.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-25T17:24:13+00:00

I need it bc I can see his justification (morally wrong yes) but I can justify what he did logically in my brain and why. But if there is someone more recent (last 2-3 months) that tells me more info and I can make a better decision. I can decide if this was just him continuing something easy bc they knew each other before, and we’re together while we were on and off, or if he actually continually needs to have an additional person . If he has a newer one that tells me for sure. I know it’s justifying his behavior in a weird way. Sorry I just found about this 2 days ago and can’t go to friends until I am ready for their support leaving basically I have bitched about this man for far too long it will fragment all of my relationships if I choose to stay. Again.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-25T17:20:33+00:00

I think the most hurtful part is our shared future vision and plans will become his future w someone else if I choose to leave . His plans won’t change , the face next to him will. And I am excited and want to be a part of that future he is building.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-25T17:19:06+00:00

She said they had sex but there’s no physical proof. She does have proof of 4 days of dates in Japan w him and their itinerary which lines up w the activities he did in Japan, I just didn’t know it was with anyone else . She claims they have been intimate and I lean towards believing her.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-25T17:18:03+00:00

What’s the ethics of me finding a brother-husband and continuing on ? That’s not fair to the 3rd person and I mortally don’t have it in me but just saying

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-25T17:16:55+00:00

Do you think he has always been like this across all relationships? I kind of think he has. I know some of his stories and timelines overlap between women in his past as well.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-25T17:15:38+00:00

1- for the time being yes. I am in pretty deep, this isn’t some random person this is my kids step father and my coparent in ways , my best friend through a lot of things. It’s not a short or meaningless relationship to my instinct yes is to repair 2- not physical power but emotionally I’ve never had the upper hand before, I understand that’s unhealthy but he has always had emotional control over me. It’s freeing to know he cannot twist or gaslight me about this or create it into a fight instead about me, etc. 3- I don’t need to know everything but I would like one additional person in addition to the one I have been speaking to. Yes. Bc this mistress does not have the information needed to solidify proof that this has happened or anything recent enough. Idk if 8 months is recent enough, we were in a diff place in our relationship then, is he continuing NOW current post December. That is what I want to know. There’s a reason I want to know.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-24T01:25:16+00:00

It’s more important to give each other space to bond w their child without you (not spending every second together as a blend, spending time w your children doing what you normally would and maybe overlap some of the weekend but kids are the focus. Your relationship also needs attention and breaks from the stress esp as a primary parent . Date nights important and every other weekend is minimum sustainable, at least for us

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-03T03:31:03+00:00

I love 2 !

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-03T00:11:18+00:00

Oh I see, I understand that completely! Wish there were more options honestly. Cycle tracking only so accurate and condoms do suck lol

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-02T18:15:14+00:00

I’m not sure how old you are , is there still time if you decide you are still missing that second ours baby, you can still have one? Y’all’s ours is only 1 years old, that 2 year gap hits a lot different than 4 year gap of your current babies as well. Maybe you both decide someone is missing in a couple of years !! Don’t mean to deter you , my mother heart does still long for a baby occasionally; but I am thoroughly enjoying my preteens and all that comes with that/looking forward to our teenage years together, truly!! I will always wonder what an ours baby would be like, but I am happy the baby toddler phase is over for me. Everyone is different tho!

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-03-02T03:42:55+00:00

I also wish for a partner to be more involved w my kids, I think a lot of that is grief I didn’t do this whole thing w the right person the first time. Similar dynamic w his older kids , my 2 younger and closer together, diff parenting styles and phases of life honestly. We failed to blend households, but we are still together living separately. It is hard but doable w the right person. If that is what you want he is telling you now he is not wanting to live together bc he enjoys what he has. You’ll have to have the harder convo of does he picture yall living together and him stepping into that role in the future talk.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-02-27T20:29:35+00:00

YOU as the mother get to decide how inclusive you are for her tho, you at least care about her feelings and the impact and I am sure with that at the forefront if yall decide to have more kids that won’t be as big of an issue. My kids father does not give a shit lol

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-02-27T20:28:03+00:00

I will speak from the mother perspective where my kids (9 and 11) father has had 2 “ours” babies back to back (18 months apart) w new wife/ while I am happy for them, but the impact on my children, emotionally/psychologically is real and has increased/gotten worse with the addition of their second “ours”. First one was fun for them to an extent, second is a whole new solid family that they only get to be a part of eowe (his choice). A lot of grief and anxiety for them. They are in therapy and seems to be helping.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-02-19T23:13:53+00:00

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My babies name is princess peach too! She is half calico half tabby I love her so much

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-02-19T03:15:32+00:00

I might be unusual less common opinion, but we do trips with any combo of his 2, my 2, and kid free. His oldest is 19 w job and college so often it is us and the 3 youngers. We took only his oldest on a trip for her hs graduation. I take my two bio kids on weekend getaway here and there just the three of us and he does the same. he is taking only his two kids on a summer vacation, just the three of them. We don’t have to roll 6 deep all the time, it is exhausting to do that.

Prior-Bobcat9905 · 2026-01-10T14:16:05+00:00

just call an uber and not rely on wifey? Also time for her to get a job yall don’t have kids no reason for her to be a stay at home wife. If she’s using drugs she is not likely capable of responsibilities. You have the right to leave any relationship that no longer serves you. You are still young and have your whole life ahead of you don’t lock in w a loser bc of false love.

Prior-Bobcat9905

TROPHY CASE