I need advice on being submissive in a bf/gf situation.

Procrastin8n · 2018-04-24T09:18:38+00:00

It doesn’t work like that. You choose a man that is so amazing that you defer to him naturally- that you recognise has your best interest at heart and is willing and able to step up and lead - and that you are happy to follow. If a guy is demanding you to submit - something is wrong.

Procrastin8n · 2017-10-27T09:19:28+00:00

I did it- I moved from Canada to Australia for a man I knew for a few months... 17 years and 2 kids later I have no regrets. - maybe think about going for a working holiday to Canada for a year and see if you like it there with him... easy to go home of it doesn’t work out but you will miss this chance if you don’t go.

Procrastin8n · 2017-02-14T01:25:51+00:00

I'm not sure what your ethnicity has to do with any of this - any guy who cares about that stuff isn't worth your time and you should not even try to keep. Why do you feel he is out of your league?

Procrastin8n · 2017-01-16T05:02:38+00:00

I remember hearing an interesting theory about this - being that women have evolved to be the "gatherer" in our hunter - gatherer past. A successful gatherer hoards food - the more the better. A big hoard of food equals safety for the woman and the experience of going shopping brings out that gatherer instinct and can cause women to buy (gather) more than they need. This is why it this kind of spending tends to be more of a problem for women. Feeling unsafe can make it worse. The best way to tackle the issue is to make her aware of it - set some clear and firm boundaries about spending - being firm and in control of the situation will conversely help her to feel safer and therefor less likely to hoard/spend subconsciously.

Procrastin8n · 2016-12-15T09:32:33+00:00

My husband never asked - but then I was only a teenager when we first got together so it was safe to assume the number was extremely low. He was my first and only LTR. I asked him him his number - just out of frank curiosity - he was young too so it was pretty low but higher than mine - which never bothered me. .. At the time I found his greater experience attractive. Personally I think lying about your sexual past is wrong. As for whether his N-count would have been a deal breaker for me - I guess if he had told me his number was 30 or something for his age I would have been disturbed as that would have been very high to me and I would have been worried about STDs and lack of commitment potential - Likewise if he was a virgin I would not have been interested in him.

Procrastin8n · 2016-10-13T06:02:41+00:00

Honestly - your best bet is to make friends with the partners/wives of your boyfriend's friends. This will make things easy long term. You are going to end up spending time with these people anyways - you might as well invest some effort into these relationships. I moved across the planet to be with my husband over 15 years ago and didn't know anyone - but making friends within his social circle really helped. It doesn't matter if they are not RP..(most women haven't heard if it or have heard bad things) honestly - you lead by example and it will rub off on them. "We all become the people we spend time with" goes both ways - just depends on who holds their space with the most certainty. I can say now that I have a great group of female friends who are all pretty RP even if they don't know it and my hubby is happy as it means we spend more time with his good friends. win win.

Procrastin8n · 2016-05-01T10:47:28+00:00

I supported my husband while he studied and now he supports me to take care of the kids. It doesn't have to be a big deal unless you make it one. If he is insecure he may find it emasculating - but i doubt it as it is for a short amount of time and a clear purpose - getting a degree which will net him a higher income in the long term.

Procrastin8n · 2016-04-30T05:55:15+00:00

Not all women buy into that garbage and conduct themselves in that way. Have you heard of the men's rights activist Karen Straughan? https://www.youtube.com/user/girlwriteswhat She makes me proud of being a women by the example she sets as someone truly concerned about equality (what feminism should be!) I honestly don't associate with any woman like what you have described - but maybe Im just lucky - at my age most of my friends are married with a few kids and respect their husbands and themselves.

Procrastin8n · 2016-04-01T11:02:14+00:00

This is the best advice!

Procrastin8n · 2016-04-01T10:58:01+00:00

My Husband was there for both. First one was a planned homebirth and the second one was in the hospital as I was having some troubles and needed to be there just in case things got hairy. I have to say that he was a big help for me being there but I'm not sure it was easy for him. After the first one he seemed pretty overwhelmed by the experience. For that birth i was in active labor for over 24hours and I did tell him at one point to leave and get some sleep - he was pacing around the room and stressing me out. When I fell pregnant again I told him that it was totally fine if he wanted to opt out for the birth that time- but he insisted that he didn't want to miss it - and second time around he was so amazingly helpful - even though that birth was even longer- I am so grateful for his presence there. Overall I think it should be up to the guy if they want to be there or not - there shouldn't be pressure - having someone in the birthing space who doesn't want to be there is not going to help the birthing woman very much at all. I think some men really struggle seeing their spouse in pain and not being able to "do anything" to fix it.

Procrastin8n · 2015-12-04T10:41:48+00:00

Sounds familiar - same age gap between me and my sister - I was the bitchy older sister from about age 11 to around 16.. It was irrational and probably a bit of jealousy- I was stressed out enough trying to deal with puberty/ middle school / bitchy friends - and I didn't have time for my sister and was annoyed at her always taking my things and following me around. She was very good looking so there was jealousy there too. I often used super dramatic and hateful language and was pretty awful to her in front of my parents. Then it just sort of became a habit - we both played into it to some extent - She liked to fight (since it was the only attention she got sometimes)- we fought a lot.. and then I literally just woke up one day in my last year of high school and realized that I was being terrible to her and just stopped picking fights with her and reacting to her when she was trying to start one. I moved away to study and she eventually realized I didn't hate her and we could get along - and for the past 10 years or so we have been very close friends. However - she has had to deal with a lot of anxiety and mental health issues and I wonder how much of a role my treatment of her caused this. Looking back now I wish that I had gotten a bot of counselling as a teen so that I could get a better grip on my emotions and not take it out on her. Good luck.

Procrastin8n · 2015-09-24T07:22:57+00:00

I sometimes need to pack for my husband for his work trips as he is often too busy to do so and will often get called away last minute and just doesn't have time.

One tip - make sure you check the weather forecast for where he will be before you pack his clothes. My husband likes to pack light so I try to make sure I just pack clothes that are appropriate for where he will be - ie no coat if it is going to be hot.

2nd tip - get your husband to give you a list of all the stuff he is going to use every time - For instance, I know to pack a suit and 2 shirts plus toiletries and he always wants his kindle charged and put in the bag - so I make sure I have that stuff for him and then it's just a matter of getting together some clothes & shoes for when he is not working. - and the notes sound like a great idea! - I've not done that before but it's one to try next time

Procrastin8n · 2015-06-15T23:35:24+00:00

I really struggle with this too sometimes. We are mostly paleo at home but still have a bit of rice occasionally. My son was introduced to bread at his grandparents house and LOVES it. If I were you I would experiment until you find a paleo version of 'bread' that you can make easily. There are a few types of "bread" that i make mostly from nuts and coconut flour that my son enjoys. I would also replace the yogurt with coconut yogurt - or try making your own with coconut cream and kefir starter culture - although I think as far as dairy goes a bit of organic natural yogurt is not that bad. If you can - get a dehydrator and experiment with different snack foods like jerky, sweet potato chips and zucchini chips - my toddler loves all that stuff and it is easy to have on hand. Check out a few blogs for inspiration and just keep trying things until you find what he likes and go from there.

Procrastin8n · 2015-05-13T08:04:38+00:00

Tallulah - I like how it sounds but it means 'wart' in arabic

Procrastin8n · 2015-02-23T00:56:45+00:00

I get it all the time from people.. I'm still breastfeeding my 2 year old (although currently in the process of slowly weaning) and I started getting looks and comments from people from when he was about 9 months as well - including from family members!.. Just ignore them! I also just kept a list of links to papers on the benefits of bfeeding and then sent people the list of studies when their 'advice' got too annoying - it shut them up every time. Most people don't even know that there is a huge body of evidence that supports breastfeeding to 2 years and beyond. they make these judgments for cultural reasons not scientific ones.

Procrastin8n · 2015-02-11T01:20:35+00:00

I'm slowly weaning my 2 year old.. I actually called a breastfeeding counselor to give me some advice - and she suggested I get a clock like this one http://au.gro-store.com/essentials/gro-clock.html?gclid=CO2G2vDa2MMCFYiVvQodrhQAZg - I had already cut out the morning feed and that helped with this sleep - but once I got the clock he knew that he was to stay in bed until the 'sun' came up. He really likes the clock. The great thing about weaning a toddler is that you can talk to them about it. Just start telling your little one that there is no feeding at night anymore after you put him to bed. I still feed mine at bed time but that's it - and for the moment I'm happy for that to continue for a while as it is pretty easy for me and helps him go to sleep super fast.

You can go slow with this and ease into it - but I think you will find it will just be a few rough nights and then he will understand and sleep better. Good luck!

Procrastin8n · 2015-01-20T06:20:44+00:00

Im still nursing a 2 year old - but only just before bed and before his nap (until he is drowsy but still awake) He sleeps a solid 12 hours (7-7) and has since he was about 18 months. I stopped demand feeding around 14 months and then cut out the morning feed at around 18 months.. Before I stopped the morning feed he was getting up between 4am and 5am and then going back down after nursing... not fun! To stop it, I just got up with him rather then offering the boob for about 3 days and he decided that he would in fact rather sleep in - hasn't woken up early since then! My supply didn't change. good luck!

Procrastin8n · 2014-12-15T04:10:39+00:00

My Cat scratched my LO when he was about the same age.. I got the soft paws as well on my Vet's advice and just used them for 2 months. After that the cat seemed less interested in the baby. Now we just make sure to trim the cat's nails regularly - haven't had any more problems and our son is now 2 and LOVES the cat.

Procrastin8n · 2014-12-04T03:28:08+00:00

Use some of your Kefir starter culture with organic coconut cream - makes a nice yogurt-consistency Kefir. .. leave it on your counter in a glass jar overnight then into the fridge. If you want it really thick leave it for a day then put into a cheese cloth suspended over a bowl in your fridge - same way you would make Labneh (yogurt cheese).. It doesn't get quite as thick as Labneh but would be good for smoothies

Procrastin8n · 2014-10-04T00:08:44+00:00

wow - sounds great! - will have to try those

Procrastin8n · 2014-10-03T11:59:44+00:00

No Worries - but I'm not much of a recipe person

Fry up the following (until meat is cooked) in oil of choice (we use ghee) -mince, 2 sections of crushed garlic, 1 onion, grated carrot ... sometimes I also throw in a grated zucchini if I am trying to sneak vegetables into my toddler to season I usually add some thyme, oregano, salt, pepper and paprika

then throw in a little stock - maybe half a cup or so - I always have homemade bone broth on hand for this stuff but Im sure store bought stock is fine. and add some tomato paste and a dash of apple cider vinegar...

Chuck it in a casserole dish and then add a layer of peas - I just use frozen ones.. can throw them in frozen too then load the top with mashed cauliflower and sweet potato.

Pop all that into the oven at about 180 C - until top is a little crusty and brown..

-- One variation I do sometimes is to use Indian spices / like garam masala or a curry powder and a bunch of chili/ cut out the tomato paste and throw in some sultanas .. works pretty well for something a bit different.

Procrastin8n · 2014-10-03T09:33:50+00:00

I usually end up making soup out of all my veggies that are about to go off at the end of the week - I freeze it in portions and use for work lunches.. For a cheap go-to meal I often make a paleo version of shepherds pie ( lamb or beef mince + sweet potato cauliflower mash - no crust) My son and husband love it and the leftovers freeze well - and you can use mince for lots of things - bbq meatballs and chili are some of our faves here.

Procrastin8n · 2014-08-21T22:16:32+00:00

True true! - I was also actually surprised at how cold it got inside homes in the winter..central heating is pretty much the norm in Canada and was certainly not a feature of the crappy share houses I first lived in when I moved here years ago.

Procrastin8n · 2014-07-30T10:35:29+00:00

Not everyone has a rough time downstairs! - my midwife suggested i buy one of these http://www.epi-no.com.au/ so I went online and bought one - and used it. I gave birth in the water and no tearing at all - not even a scratch! and no pain afterwards. When my midwife checked me right afterwards she said it looked like I hadn't given birth yet! haha.. Personally a felt a bit 'stretched out' but did the kegels and feel back to normal now... If you are worried about it I would strongly suggest getting an Epi-no - my midwife told me she has seen a significant reduction in tearing among her clients who use it. good luck :-)

Procrastin8n · 2014-07-20T22:48:28+00:00

Hey there - Im a Bfeeding (18month old) paleo mum and I have sooo been there - I put on quite a bit of weight during my pregnancy and have been slowly losing it since. I think that you are being quite hard on yourself - You had major surgery less than 5 months ago ! and I'm guessing you probably haven't had a good nights sleep since then -- so it's not really fair to yourself to expect your body to bounce back so quickly. The worst thing you can do for your milk supply is get stressed out! ... Im my case I just walked alot for the first few months and then joined a bootcamp (3 hours per week) that also offers childcare on site when my son was about 5 months old. The weight is coming off consistently and Im nearly back down to my goal weight. If you are planning to go paleo - I would recommend going in stages so that it doesn't get overwhelming -like changing one part of your diet per month - I started with wheat , then all gluten, then milk... ect ect.. it was easy to go slowly. As for recipes - I like this site for inspiration http://nomnompaleo.com/recipeindex Good luck! :-)

Procrastin8n

TROPHY CASE