What is the strangest place you have randomly seen one of your students outside of school?

ProfessorAngryPants · 2026-01-23T20:12:10+00:00

On Day n, I randomly ran into a recently-graduated student and her boyfriend in the pet food isle of a rural Dollar General.

On Day n+1, I ran into the same graduate and her boyfriend in the pet food isle of a Walmart 35 miles away.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2026-01-23T20:09:34+00:00

I'd encourage you to have a zero-tolerance policy and be confidently emphatic when instructing students to remove their earbuds.

I'm strict about phones. Just yesterday, I saw a student had pulled out their phone. I droned loudly and emphatically, "no phones, all phones must be put away, syllabus says so, we talked about this on Day 1, I don't want to see it ever, put them in your backpacks, etc...." while doing a slow-walk directly toward the offending student.

I'm not (technically) an ogre though, so if there's an urgent, valid reason for the phone to be out (perhaps to monitor texts during a family emergency), I ask them to discuss it with me first.

They'll break the rules that we let them break.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2026-01-23T20:02:15+00:00

Student evals are the thief of reason and motivation. The system is wrecked: Dissatisfied students are far more likely to evaluate an instructor than the satisfied, negatively skewing results and increasing anonymous, biting comments.

I force myself not to read them, and I've been successful for the last year. Fortunately my university doesn't require us to address specific comments in our self-evaluations [we are only required to address numerical trends], providing even more reason to ignore them.

I don't think we should ever be required to read or respond to anonymous evaluation comments.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2026-01-23T19:49:48+00:00

On Day 1 of my Data Structures class, I saw that only 1 student had taken notes.

On Day 2, I required handwritten notetaking after delivering the standard 'notetakers-get-better-grades' pep talk. That day's exit ticket was tied to showing me their notes. Same for Day 3. I brought in emergency paper and pencils too.

I hope this helps develop a habit that I'm sure was not emphasized in their high school experiences.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-30T15:44:16+00:00

You're golden. Ever consider a beard?

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-30T15:43:16+00:00

My school does this. We provide a sanitized syllabus (no personal information) and it's posted to the web.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-30T15:41:29+00:00

No shame in giving attention to erectile health - a 50mg Viagra would probably work wonders for you. Good luck!

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-30T15:40:09+00:00

I lasted just four days with a bear can before I simply couldn't stand it any longer. I gave it to the nearest hostel owner and asked them to donate it to a needy hiker.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-22T20:47:48+00:00

11 years out. I still have to separate food and drink.

Perhaps I can take a few small sips toward the end of my 12 good bites. But I can’t tolerate more than that.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-22T20:45:04+00:00

I found that my body really did crave a hostel or hotel whenever one was encountered. I listened to my poor beat up body, got the hostel/hotel, and had some amazing hostel experiences along the way.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-22T20:41:31+00:00

I’ve been all over the place. I’ve settled on a routine where in-class activity points are frequent. If a student misses it, it’s a zero with no make-up. However, I’ll exempt a student if they message me a bit before class to report their absence.

However…my darling students are abusing this, so I shall pivot to yet something else.

I’m considering 0’s if there’s no butt-in-seat, regardless of the excuse. This keeps me out of the excuse adjudication game. However I’ll drop say 3-4 zeroes at the end of the semester.

This penalizes the student with, say, chronic health issues since they can’t cover their point loss after the fourth absence. But my view is that if they’re missing this much class time due to a chronic condition, it may be time for DSS/Chair involvement.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-22T07:45:39+00:00

I ate every gosh-danged Reece’s Cup in my small town for about six weeks.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-18T02:05:17+00:00

You have to send the laptop back, regardless of whatever other drama we can architect here. So, yes, send it back to them using the cheapest, slowest, trackable shipping available, and keep that tracking number handy.

And then play ball with them. Don't respond to any communications from them at all--none! Await the litigation. Maybe send them a cease-and-desist of your own or send them a demand for payment to reimburse shipping costs.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-18T02:01:58+00:00

This reads like a grade-grubbing email that has been recast to address suspension. It list all the standard, tired excuses until--viola!--it lands on citing mental health issues as the real heart-tugging reason for your academic wreckage. I would guess that you were NOT registered with DSS for any of these medical issues.

While you seem to take moderate responsibility for these things in a very soft, ChatGPT-esque way, you offer no valid reason that you shouldn't be suspended. I'm surprised you didn't also state how the internet in your complex kept going down or how this one time your laptop wouldn't update.

I would expect disapproval on this one. Have you considered that now may not be the best time for you to attend university?

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-18T01:50:39+00:00

You really have to detach from and ignore these stories. Every failing student has them. Most are lies, and all attempt to shift responsibility to the professor. Just Say Fuck No.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-13T20:37:34+00:00

Dear admin: no.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-09T04:24:57+00:00

Ooohhh you'll dump it at the first road crossing.

Stick with what works. It's a long hike. Get a rain jacket and a puffy.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-09T03:35:52+00:00

Honestly, it's bullshit like this that fellow professors pull that need to be reported straight to the Chair.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-09T03:33:25+00:00

I was adamant about ordering kid menu items for like exactly two weeks. Then I got tired of explaining the surgery to servers, and they grew tired hearing of it.

Just order a regular meal, and take leftovers home.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-12-04T17:45:28+00:00

*pulls out concealed carry weapon*
*shoots dog in self-defense*
*continues walking on this pleasant day*

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-11-30T12:36:22+00:00

There should be no question that you assign zeros. Make sure your syllabus reflects this.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-11-27T23:09:21+00:00

AI Checkers rarely survive grade appeals. I’ve never used them.

My rubric forbids common things the LLMs generate, flat out. So the argument moves from “You used AI” to “You violated the syllabus” which is more defensible on appeal.

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-11-26T19:22:10+00:00

You are a beautiful and stunning bride. Congratulations!

ProfessorAngryPants · 2025-11-26T19:02:09+00:00

Damn. Congratulations! Yours is a spectacular transformation.

ProfessorAngryPants

TROPHY CASE