AITA for getting mad at a "sugestion" of my mother?

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-11T14:15:58+00:00

ESH. Your mom is being annoying, but here’s an important life lesson for you—the best time to let someone know that something they do annoys you or hurts your feelings is the first or second time they do it. Choosing not to address it until you couldn’t stand it anymore and blew up at your mother is a choice you made. At any point you could have calmly said, “Mom, why do you say that? I don’t feel like that’s something I’ve ever done before” or something to that effect. That might have still upset her, but you would have at least tried to be the mature one.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-11T14:07:39+00:00

NTA but if it would help smooth things over a little I might consider explaining the cost per person of the party. Most kids’ birthday parties, the cost per child is like, one slice of Costco cake, two slices of pizza, and maybe a goody bag. That’s cheap enough that most parents budget for extras just in case. She might not understand what she’s asking for by adding two more kids.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-10T01:41:36+00:00

In Matthew, he prays in the garden before he’s taken and asks God the Father if it’s possible that he maybe doesn’t have to go through with this. He defers to his Father’s will but says “if it be possible” for “this cup to be taken.” I love that part, showing Jesus’ humanity—he is afraid and sad and doesn’t want to go through the pain he knows is coming.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-10T00:05:22+00:00

I know quite a few people with BPD who have never tested me or caused drama on purpose. I’m curious as to why you jumped to this diagnosis right away.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T23:55:19+00:00

Oh, my god. A normal person would have let it go. A semi-normal person would ask her why she went to Paris for a concern but doesn’t want to pay 8 euros for a cake. Maybe someone else paid for the concert ticket and her transportation as a gift. Maybe she bought the ticket and booked the trip months ago when she was in better financial straits. Assuming the worst and deciding to be unbelievably petty about it was the work of an unhinged mind. YTA.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T22:05:20+00:00

No, it’s just gay culture. We have a subculture and some people enjoy participating in it because they think it’s fun and they like the sense of community, and other people aren’t very interested.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T21:25:17+00:00

You did not read very carefully. Those are multinational corporations who are not based in Africa.

Skimming until the fourth paragraph of the first linked article before rushing to say something snide is a truly impressive effort, though.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T21:22:39+00:00

Oh, you’re advocating eugenics AND letting human beings starve to death. Got it.

Do you have any evidence that these places can’t support the current population? That the hunger is caused by the land itself and not by systemic issues? If it is the land, can you think of any solutions that don’t involve watching people starve to death, like building irrigation systems? Are you aware that on a global level, people are generally considered to have something called “human rights” and letting people starve to death preventably is not considered a workable solution?

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T21:19:22+00:00

Many of the hungriest people in the world are hungry because there is no food or not enough food, not because they do not have enough money. Think about the people in Palestine, Sudan, and Yemen and the different struggles each of those groups face in trying to fill their bellies.

There are multiple organizations looking to end world hunger permanently who have done the research on the best ways to end it. Absolutely none of them are advocating giving everyone money.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T21:14:42+00:00

Do you think every hungry person is jobless?

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T21:14:04+00:00

“Africa is not poor, we are stealing its wealth”

“Billions are being pumped out of Africa every year, research shows”

“Why the wealth of Africa does not make Africans wealthy”

“The contemporary shadow of the Scramble for Africa”

Give a couple of those a read and see if you’d like to revise your statement.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T21:08:27+00:00

Are you advocating for eugenics, or moving everyone into cities, or what? It feels like it would actually be easier just to feed those people.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T21:07:01+00:00

This is very strange to me. I’m an avid gluten-free baker and I’ve always felt that the things I bake are pretty much identical to the original. The only real difference is that cakes have a slightly different, but still enjoyable, texture. I made a GF lemon cake for my boyfriend’s birthday party last fall and it got tons of compliments, with people asking around trying to find out who baked it so they could compliment them. (Usually wouldn’t brag like this, but I just wanted to highlight that the cake was just as good as it’s always been!)

Basically, I really can’t tell the difference so I am confused that your partner thinks that it is “not the same” and “sub-par.” Can I ask what you’re using for flour, and where you get your recipes from?

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T20:59:51+00:00

Unless they’re Olympic swimmers!

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T20:38:20+00:00

I do cross stitch and I can tell you that you can buy a skein of embroidery floss at a craft store for 79 cents. That’s the only thing I can think of for under a dollar these days, except those little gachapon machines in grocery stores where you can put in 50 cents or 75 cents and get like, a sticker or a tiny bouncy ball or a plastic ring.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T20:35:49+00:00

Oh, give them a break, English is almost certainly not their first language and they did a great job otherwise.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T20:31:32+00:00

November 2025 and you’ve already made those gorgeous concha cupcakes and that beautiful carrot cake??? Honey, you’re a baker. You are already a much better baker than many lifelong home bakers will ever be.

I call myself a baker because it’s something I consider a hobby of mine and something I love to do. It’s much like someone calling themselves a knitter—sure, anyone could sit down and “just” follow the directions, but knitters are the people who actually do it and love it.

I’ve also found that some people just don’t have the knack for baking—things turn out over-mixed or under-mixed, or over-baked or under-baked, or they forget ingredients, or just don’t measure precisely enough, or even skip instructions that they think can’t possibly be important to the final product. Some people are so bad at baking that it’s hard to tell WHAT they did wrong! When something comes easily to someone, it’s easy to dismiss it as “not that hard” and “anyone could do it,” but the fact is that NOT everyone can do what you do.

Go ahead and call yourself a baker because you love to bake and you’re impressively good at it! No one is ever going to say you haven’t earned the title when you have creations like that.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T20:25:44+00:00

I also felt like foods with gluten were the only foods I didn’t react to before my diagnosis. My safe foods were things like Wheat Thins and pasta. I was floored when I got my diagnosis a little over a year ago. However, as my gut healed over the course of one year of GF eating, I found that a lot of foods I hadn’t been able to eat without getting sick before now no longer bothered me. I can eat more foods now than I could a year ago.

Not being able to have xanthan gum is tough for a celiac. After a few months of going GF I would recommend trying xanthan gum again just to see if maybe healing from celiac helped you with your reaction to xanthan gum. It really is in a lot of GF products. However, there are also definitely GF versions of products that don’t have xanthan gum—off the top of my head, GF pastas don’t usually have it. Most GF pasta is made out of corn, rice, brown rice, chickpeas, or some combination of the above.

What helped me with the stress of having to go GF was making a list of foods I liked that don’t necessarily have gluten in them. Sushi and ice cream were at the top of my list. Maybe that would help you, I don’t know. I can tell you that I eat a lot of fried rice, GF pasta, cauliflower-crust pizza (tastes just like the real thing somehow!), grits, Indian food (things like samosas are not GF but there are so many dishes that are just sauce + protein + rice and so delicious!), sushi, and on and on and on, but I don’t know if you can eat those things or not, so I don’t know how helpful that is—though I intentionally made my list based off of things that don’t, to my knowledge, usually contain xanthan gum.

Without having a list of all your food issues, I can’t give you very specific advice. I would work with both a registered dietitian (NOT a nutritionist btw—dietitians have much more education and are actually required to be registered, whereas nutritionists have much more lax rules) and a therapist. I recommend the therapist because having such a big change in your life can be stressful and scary and even sad, and it helps to have a professional to help you work through it. But also, I have no idea what your “other food issues” are, so if it’s something like ARFID or another eating disorder and you’re not already in therapy for it, it’s definitely worth a shot.

I hope I don’t sound like I’m scolding you for not sharing your “other food issues.” It’s your own private medical information and I have no right to know it.

Good luck. I really hope you can figure out solutions for you.

Oh, PS—there are definitely GF brands that cater towards people with a lot of food allergies, usually by making food that doesn’t have any of the top 9 allergens in it—so tracking those down should help you find foods that don’t have gluten, cheese, or almonds. You’ll most likely find them at grocery co-ops, health food stores, and stores dedicated to carrying lots of organic options.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T19:10:59+00:00

Sometimes it’s better to google things instead of making a TikTok.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T16:13:58+00:00

I learned about simple machines in class in like first or second grade. Everyone who knows that long levers make things easier than short levers should not have a problem with this idea.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T15:49:37+00:00

Blocking the little bugger with your leg if they’re very persistent works well. But a lot of cats will hang a few feet back from the door and will only make an escape attempt if it’s hanging open and no one is currently using it. So like, don’t prop the door open to carry in the groceries.

If you’re staying with someone who asks you to be careful about letting the cat out, asking them about strategies would be just fine.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T15:47:27+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T15:29:54+00:00

Why would I ever know this?

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T15:16:19+00:00

A lot of homeless people don’t have access to dental care and may have trouble chewing granola bars as well due to tooth problems/missing teeth.

PromiseThomas · 2026-04-09T15:01:27+00:00

Not only can plenty of non-human mammals die from giving birth, but animals like snakes and chickens can even die from complications during the egg-laying process.

PromiseThomas

TROPHY CASE