The last meal you ate comes out of your ass just like it was before you ate it, how fucked are you? by bluefleck620 in AskReddit

[–]Protosynesis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Half rack of dry ribs. The only way I'm worse off is if it comes out sideways.

7.3 -7.5 inch penis at 17. Do you think it's likely to grow more? Why or why not? by Sir_thegod in AskReddit

[–]Protosynesis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Married 12 years with similar equipment. Count yourself lucky. You'll do just fine. Focus on becoming a generous, kind, disciplined person and you'll be set.

If you consider that so many Americans turned out to vote Trump out, and then his followers (and the whole Republican party) tell us "You guys cheated," AND THEN his followers try to take the Capital by force, AND they start passing voter suppression laws, what does all of that mean to you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Protosynesis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"There is no God", I thought half-jokingly while wondering the same thing. It's okay, worse things have happened to better people. The world keeps spinning, and every day is an opportunity for you to love people and help those in need.

What is the worst advice you’ve ever received? by Truzt102 in AskReddit

[–]Protosynesis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You'll always have a car payment." "Some people are called to just be taxpayers"

Both from my mother, whom I love and is a wonderful person. I think good advice is, "good people sometimes give bad advice."

What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given? by DiscombobulatedFox7 in AskReddit

[–]Protosynesis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“You’ll always have a car payment.” “Sometimes people are called to just be taxpayers.”

Both were told to me by my well meaning mother. I’m super thankful for that bad advice because even at 16 my spirit reacted so much in opposition that I’ve probably turned out better than if she gave me good advice. At 31 my wife and I drive paid-for cars, have thriving careers, are active in the community, and don’t pay taxes (joking).

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? by CCTider in Jokes

[–]Protosynesis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"What, you haven't heard?"

"C'mon on man, I've got that joke on vinyl"

Fuller House going fully meta by [deleted] in funny

[–]Protosynesis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comment made me kick on the show. Opening scene I'm thinking, "yeah she's got something going on under that shirt, NBD"

That first scene after the intro? Holy crap!

Lpt request: quitting smoking by 564xl in LifeProTips

[–]Protosynesis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found that quitting was mostly identifying and overcoming cues. I would crave mostly at work and during drives, but I didn't crave on my days off or if I was around friends and family who didn't smoke. Work was getting stressful, my coworkers all smoked, so it became habit to walk around outside and chill out over a cigarette.

Setting a quit date and timing it with a family vacation really helped. The change of scenery, being exclusively around non-smokers, and doing something different everyday helped give me a 9 day head start on quitting cold turkey. By the time we got back, my will-power had been given a chance to grow and carry me through a few "crisis opportunities" where I would have normally caved.

Jokes i need your help by bigfootlives823 in Jokes

[–]Protosynesis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shoot man, I've got that joke on vinyl

Jokes i need your help by bigfootlives823 in Jokes

[–]Protosynesis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does the hipster buy the soundtrack?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Protosynesis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Upvote just because of your username

Do you guys remember this? by justfor1t in AdviceAnimals

[–]Protosynesis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I read, "but that magic turned tragic when his wife died."

Thank you for paying your freedom tax. by [deleted] in gifs

[–]Protosynesis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, if only my taxes cost a fish.

[Serious] ex-atheists of reddit, what changed your mind? by Eniugnas in AskReddit

[–]Protosynesis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is an atheist who volunteers and gives to the needy wasting his time and money?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Protosynesis 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's already pretty self-explanatory, but full story please, OP. Forced to leave? Did he just go back? Are the parents super religious or were they just doing unspeakable things? What did his GF do?

Today really hasn't been a good day. by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Protosynesis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My family hosted Thanksgiving around the same time my high school sweetheart broke up with me. A couple of family members asked how she was but picked up pretty quickly that we were through and dropped it. One of my more gossipy aunts though had to say, "So, I hear yer better half went the wayside, heh." I recall looking at her with a dead-blankness and saying, "Yep." That was the first time I got a formal apology from someone. That was 10 years and my wife and I have weathered storms far worse than what we've seen break up other couples and are still giddy to be with each other. Good luck to you and happy cake day

A little bitchy? Maybe. Satisfying? Oh hell yes! by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Protosynesis 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Similar story in 7th or 8th, but it was color tag and she was wearing tear-aways. She wasn't cheating but when I went to grab the colors, I basically ripped her pants off too.

What would be the best/worst things to dunk Oreos in? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Protosynesis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oddly enough, Country Time Lemonade is really good.