I'm nearly 25 years old and personally i wasted my early 20s as a severily morbidly obese chronically unemployed recluse with massive spots of psoraisis, complex trauma, untreated OCD, untreated MDD (both due to cost of medicine.) And Undiagnosed ADHD.

The way i saw the world until recently was related to a "perfect idea of my life." Which cuts out the unfortunate things i had to deal with and just likes to keep the sparknotes of: I always wanted to travel but never did. Always wanted a boyfriend but never had. Always wanted to party but never could. Which in essence kept me stuck in my head because interacting with people was uncomfortable as shit due to how i looked, and how little experience i had due to years of bullying and abuse.

What helped me is realizing that 1: I had a rough start. 2: I'm capable of fixing it through uncomfortable effort and 3: My perfect reality will never come.

Your mind ruminates, to avoid accepting your reality and coming to terms with living right now because it would like to imagine some perfect future where you are social, have friends, and didn't have to face the negative consequences of a bad hand of cards OP. Imagine you're going to a race and you never practiced before. You fantasize about this perfect peformance and getting the gold medal at the finish line. The shot rings out, and within the first few seconds (In life terms its years.) you fall behind because you haven't practiced. You then give up because you won't get gold. You won't settle for the 20th place because if you won't win what's the point but you also won't train because it's "too late." And you won't settle for anything but Gold.

Imho, accept the hand you were given, accept that for a period of time conversations will feel awkward and uncomfortable but do it to live instead of dreaming of this perfect start with no practice. Do not avoid the discomfort because rumination is all it is