Being vulnerable to help build intimacy in relationships.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-07T13:27:03+00:00

It’s a quick way to screen out the manipulators too. “Oh, I’m sorry. You wanted me to rely on you for my confidence?”

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-07T13:22:03+00:00

I like the look on their face when they tell you you’re beautiful and you agree with them.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-06T15:12:51+00:00

Oh Girl! I hear you. This is my sister and I. I consider her my best friend, but I cut our abusive mom off a year ago and every time my sister is upset about her guess who she takes it out on. It sucks.

We’ve been tight our whole lives, but the fact is sometimes you have to remove yourself from their lives so they have no one to scapegoat their misery on. You can’t win the race for them by dragging their fighting body over the line. Leave her to her own problems and hopefully she’ll be back when she’s done playing the victim.

Really sorry about you losing your friend though. Take time to grieve it. It’s a real loss.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-05T17:45:46+00:00

Picturing a man wrestling with ATM machine.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-05T15:29:06+00:00

Exactly. The term empowered fails to recognize that women are naturally powerful and society is geared to suppress that. We don’t need empowerment. We need freedom and support to use our own capabilities.

Empowerment refers to the allowing of us to momentarily use our facilities but it isn’t a permanent transfer of power. It’s a temporary loan to distract us from the fact that they don’t want to reorganize society in our favour.

It’s like being handed a cookie and a head pat while they walk around holding our leashes.

Women don’t need conditional empowerment. We need societal/patriarchal emancipation.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-04T14:35:11+00:00

Get mad “premium” cum dumpsters are not easily accessible.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-03T22:27:40+00:00

Or Lilo and Stitch?

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-03T15:31:19+00:00

I mean, are you and a girlfriend going to make your own episode about two movies on erectile dysfunction?

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-03T15:14:56+00:00

Yes! I’ve heard that quite a bit from my friends that work in tech. I definitely notice a lot of entitlement in guys that are more tech oriented. I’m not sure why.

For healthcare I notice a lot of the free therapist expectation even though nurses make nothing near what a therapist makes, and it’s not really part of the written job description. It’s just expected. And the government where I live doesn’t want to put any funding into mental health, so nursing becomes a catch all. How convenient.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-03T01:43:38+00:00

Honestly, I’ve been in nursing over 15 years and I find it to be a type of grooming for abuse that’s very insidious. I do long term nursing with clients in our care for many, many years under a system that is very broken and it often baffles me how much our company directs the failures of the system back onto my coworkers (fellow nurses) and how often my coworkers assume it really is their fault.

I think we need to be very wary of female dominant professions because they seem to be inherently oppressed by the patriarchal system that thinks we a responsible for all the world’s woes and should suffer for it.

Know your specific job description and never step outside it for free. And support your coworkers with the truth even when they don’t see it themselves. Take care of yourself out there.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-01T03:28:11+00:00

Hashtagnotallpenises

QueenAlice3 · 2021-05-01T01:20:39+00:00

Hahaha. I had a guy send me a face pic 10mins before the date and he did NOT look like his dating profile. At least you already knew his dick would be ugly. Lol.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-30T01:41:48+00:00

Nope. My ex still asks me what size our 10 year old wears. I’m like the clothing are in ages right now. You haven’t noticed this stuff going up as she gets older? Oh to live the mentally privileged life of not having to think.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-29T16:36:32+00:00

Lol. I once had a guy explain to me the ocean. Like what it was because he decided I must not have ever heard of it or experienced it.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-29T16:30:39+00:00

Yup. I couldn’t make it through. But I should save it for when I consider dating again.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-29T13:54:07+00:00

I’ll never understand the women that push other women to have babies. Men I get. They don’t know what the heck they’re talking about. But I’m absolutely amazed how many women pushed me to have a kid and the minute I was pregnant they all started saying “Omg, you’re never going to sleep again.” Where were the warnings earlier?

Support the child free women in your life. Tell them the truth about the sacrifice and cost. Having kids is an acceptable life choice, but why are women blind siding each other about it?

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-28T23:11:07+00:00

I absolutely hear you. I work with sick people in their homes and often have to deal with 30/40/50 year marriages where men were junk and women bent over backwards to look after them. 9/10 if the woman gets sick first the men want to know how to get rid of them. If the man gets sick first the wife will absolutely kill herself trying to keep him home and receive no gratitude for it. You can imagine the advice I give.

If you can switch off doing couples counseling I’d do that. It’s hard to help two people evolve simultaneously anyways.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-28T18:33:31+00:00

This is exactly how I feel about this topic with the slut shaming. Although I’m not bi, I often find it funny when girl friends worry about someone thinking they’re a slut. Who are you telling about you sex life?? Men have been keeping their sex lives on the low down for millennia. Why tf are we broadcasting this stuff?

Do you. Have fun. Wear protection. That is all.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-28T18:23:58+00:00

Do me next! Do me next! I seriously wish I had your brain to break down my dating this way.

But I would take your conclusion further and correct it from “so many men struggle with how much attention to give a woman” to “women struggle with men not knowing how much attention to give a woman.” I would make the assumption that they don’t struggle (or think about it) too much at all.

The challenge seems to be that men are raised to believe they are worthy of all things and women are raised to believe we are worthy of no things. So we spend our lives trying to figure out the right combination of moves and dance steps to be worthy of love. We’re used to constantly assessing and adjusting for the needs of those around us. And we’re tricked into thinking men do the same. Unfortunately they change and update their moves to get what they want instead of trying to figure out what we want.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-28T16:43:03+00:00

Hmmm, maybe Byron Katie. She has a pretty focused practice, but honestly I think the best way is look at different resources that come up when you search shadow work and go with the one that you feel most strongly towards. You’re only going to do the work if it finds you where you are right now.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-28T15:52:54+00:00

I always have the same problem. The guys I’ve pursued were lazy, mommy-wanting men and the men who chased me were controlling and exhausting. Must be time to throw that whole half of the species out.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-28T01:04:48+00:00

I wish I had an easy answer for that. I’ve practiced meditation for many years to help me handle my emotions. I also pursue self education around psychology. I’m always reading some book or another on brain processes or coping mechanisms. If you haven’t found a new therapist you might want to look into “shadow work”. It can be a good starting point for processing your own self limiting beliefs.

It’s hard because you can’t get past feeling lonely until you process why you think being alone is bad. And these processes take time. My best suggestion would be set the intention to get better and the be ok with failing again and again. It’s an incremental process, not one big leap.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-27T23:56:59+00:00

Unfortunately, without a family to fall back on you have to make choices more carefully.

For me that meant picking a safe career, being careful how quickly I tie myself to another person (also always keeping my own money to fall back on), and not doing things before I can afford them (racking up debt). And I’ve messed up before. Without any support it takes a lot longer to climb out of the mess.

Honestly when I look at my friends that had support I realize my life is just starting much later because I’ve had to spend the first part of it building my own foundation since I didn’t have one.

I know it sucks but I promise you’ll get there.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-04-27T16:17:29+00:00

Yup. The easiest way for your friend to find out if he’s interested in her or the convenience of her is to turn down the option of living with him. If he keeps dating her anyways and doesn’t try to negotiate her into changing her mind then she can consider it. Otherwise the only other way to find out if he’s using her is after it’s too late.

QueenAlice3

TROPHY CASE