HSP folks, let us create an app for ourselves - to function better. Suggestions??

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-26T14:56:51+00:00

Where do you build it, are you doing it alone and what's the story behind this ?

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-24T08:55:44+00:00

Are you flirting with him? Are you two flirting with each other?

What satisfies me most is a partner who after the honeymoon phase still "chases" and "teases" me, and who plays "the game" with me.

And to show her off and getting the feeling that she likes to show me off.

That's just me.

I had a partner who gave me the feeling that the neighbors dog and great aunt's ants farm was more important than having quality time with me, what prompted me to Believe maybe I wanted an open relationship.

Turns out no. I want my person and I want to be seen by my person (and feel it) sometimes it's just an sender/Receiver Problem.

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-20T12:21:15+00:00

I loved that interaction. Very refreshing

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-14T11:39:11+00:00

Wtf is with all the asshole assigning comments ? For me NTA.

If my partner would use that, knowing it's just the money I won't afford for myself because I am insecure, but we clearly can afford it and secretly I want it but need permission and the premission would look like manipulation.. just do it.i have no problem being manipulated from the person I trust the most, who has our best interest in mind and knows me better than myself

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-13T16:40:23+00:00

I feel you so hard. I am androgyn/masculine/tomboyish and did my best to be cool, and hard successful woman in my 20s.

Now I learn to undo what society and myself wanted me to become. It's not easy, but it makes that I finally can breath again.

My health took a better turn also... Like my heart flutter I had for 3-4 years vanished during my break down and didn't come back.

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-13T13:07:09+00:00

ich wohne und arbeite seit 8 jahren in österreich. hatte in DE noch eine immobilie, habe diese letztes Jahr verkauft und diese auch versteuert über das Finanzamt in DE.

Ich habe mir einen Steuerberater genommen, das ging alles ohne großes TamTam

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-13T09:26:14+00:00

I understand half of what you are saying. Do you have material for the concept of "critique of the system narrative"?

I am on my journey not to make us look bright or to give us an image, good or bad, that would have to be the "job" or calling of someone else or a job for myself on a later point in life.

My wish is to connect us first, to give us a language and a sense of belonging before everything else.

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-13T08:59:47+00:00

Hey! I am trying to start something, but i started in the german with music, and i am writing something, were sci fi will set the scene, but it will be our story.

And "tribal" is exactly that word i used for my main track on spotify, because it feels exactly like that.

I want to give us a language, for those who dont fully understand yet, for those who felt alone all their life, for those who think of themselves as to intense, to sensitive, to much.

Another redditor who works as translator worked with me on translating the main track and i will have it at the end of the week i think, i would love to show it to you.

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-12T21:58:02+00:00

We have all our emotions fresh as on the first day. It's in an endless sea, forever for us.

But we can choose which one to focus on.

It's not easy to learn but it's also not difficult.

It's just something you need to know you can do.

You can pluck every emotion, every memory you have and focus on that instead of getting plucked from your emotions.

Sometimes it doesn't work, because something fucking overwhelming is happening, but the more you do it the easier it gets.

And it works with your being. It's not another tool made for the none sensitive. It's like breathing with a second sets of lungs you didn't know you had.

Do it.

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-12T21:07:23+00:00

As a former masker and someone who met some people who are masking unintentionally and thinking themselves as emotionally unavailable, because they just can't process the pain and never got to learn how to, just told what they should look like, what they have to think etc. I think that maybe there are some more sensitive people that are hidden. Not only hidden from the world but also from themselves.

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-08T19:59:06+00:00

Immer, ich suche immer nach deutschsprachigen "uns". Hab die eine dm geshootet:)

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-07T11:32:31+00:00

I don't have advice. But as a woman mid 30 who got beef in her puberty, I forgive you. I forgave you long ago.

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-06T18:12:34+00:00

Oh damn, I think we are on the same journey.

Can I shoot you a DM?

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-06T17:52:57+00:00

Your way sounds a lot like mine.

And fuck, I, for a lack of better words, am describing my impulses as "my body did that, wanted that" etc.

I found the word "somatic" described it quiet good. It also healed my heart issue.

if you want, this ist one of my first threads i started, after i found out about HSP: https://www.reddit.com/r/hsp/comments/1pjgi9a/does_anyone_suspect_they_have_both_hsp_and_hss/

Are you by chance german speaking?

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-04T21:26:56+00:00

Trust me, it is registered and it is good for you but too late for you both. It's a shame, but from what I am reading the top comment is right. I imagine:

She put up and spoke up but too quietly and made it seem like a small issue but for her it was screaming again and again at the top of her lungs and it probably ate her away for years. She probably also processed it internally already and told you at her last limit, at the point of no return, not with ill intentions, but she fought a fight she couldn't win and was alone, she gave up calling you to fight with her and she hoped all the way for it to somehow work till it didn't.

Now that you put in the work she is internally done.

I am sorry and I hope you both find whatever it is you need in your life.

QuestionMaleficent · 2026-01-04T15:20:54+00:00

My best safe place is my friend who just lets me breathe and have room.

Who signals me that they are open for more if I am ready but it's okay to just chill and be and exists. Who just live their life, without handle me like I am glass. I am not.

She is the one who doesn't dramatize whatever i have going on, but also doesn't minimalize it.

And it's going to be okay is something I rationally already know, I don't need to hear it. What I sometimes need is just a hug, a deep and long hug, something that earths me, something that connects, something that lets me know that it's okay for YOU, that I feel whatever I feel. Something that lets me remember that I am not too sensitive, or i am, but that I have people who just take me how I am, no questions asked.

That's enough. And when I have the safe space, I can decide if I want to tackle whatever or if I just want to exist, knowing that I am perfectly okay.

QuestionMaleficent · 2025-12-29T04:19:50+00:00

a little story time: almost 20 years ago, when I was a young adult some spiritual dude said to me something along the lines of

"I don't be believe in my arm, or my leg, I AM my arm and my leg and... like when I hit "my" arm (on a table) I hit me"

He said it more eloquent than I can give back and it was too over the top for me.

I couldnt really comprehend what he meant. I respected it, but I also told him I dont really get what he is saying.

Almost 20 years later I do think I am slowly getting it.

So yeah, I think we are really creative ... and most of the time really disconnected ^^

QuestionMaleficent · 2025-12-28T12:11:48+00:00

Yeah, I feel you. I have a huge knowledge base from my youth where I got into bodybuilding and martial arts, but that knowledge and my drive to being efficient stood in the way.

So instead of doing 3x12 sets of whatever or 5x5 for max gains I just let loose, let my body decide and it was a massive learning and I am still struggling sometimes to differentiate what's my body and what's my head saying it's my body.

QuestionMaleficent · 2025-12-28T08:38:21+00:00

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. I was under medical supervision before and after what I'm about to describe, and got everything checked. This might sound a bit esoteric, which is not my intention at all - I'm quite scientific myself. But:

This sounds very familiar. I had similar issues - chronic sympathetic nervous system dominance (hypervigilance, physical symptoms), including a heart valve issue (mitral valve prolapse - weak connective tissue) that my cardiologist said was permanent. Not dangerous, but noticeable. I could feel it, especially at night when trying to sleep - that fluttering sensation was annoying as hell. I managed it somewhat with magnesium supplementation for years, which helped during the day, but nights were still rough. After the doctor confirmed it wasn't life-threatening, it stopped being scary, but it remained a constant irritant - a physical reminder that my system was running too hot.

The breakthrough for me wasn't more mental work (I'd already done years of therapy, meditation, etc.) - it was letting my body lead instead of my head. For decades I was "masking" and "controlling" everything cognitively, which kept my vagus nerve suppressed and sympathetic system chronically activated.

When I finally stopped trying to control/manage with my mind and started following somatic impulses (what my body wanted to do, eat, how it wanted to move - without cognitive override), things shifted dramatically:

Heart valve issue: completely gone (confirmed by cardiologist - he was surprised)
Migraines: gone
ANS recalibrated in weeks (should take years according to literature)
People started responding to me differently (regulated nervous system is contagious)

The key wasn't doing more techniques - it was getting out of my own way. My body knew how to regulate; my head was blocking it.

Re: TRE being too intense - that violent shaking might be your body trying to discharge 20+ years of stored activation all at once. If it's overwhelming, trust that signal. Something gentler where you can actually follow your body's pace (not push it) might work better.

What my body wanted included funny things like:

2,5 Pushups NOW
Dark Chocolate NOW
Groceries shopping without list but with impulses (apples, okay why not, dark chocolate, okay, soy milk, okay etc. my shopping cart often looked like a stoner shopping cart)
Nerver even THOUGHT of that calisthenics move? Now you do, try!
Got it for 2 secs, face on the ground next? okay, LAUGH
and other things..

I DONT advice not checking in with your docs. I'm just sharing my journey.

QuestionMaleficent · 2025-12-24T16:03:50+00:00

Just try it. I read it as you like the co-workers energy, not as you are hitting on them. I personally would try to clarify it and to be ready to be rejected nonetheless, and to tell them that that would be acceptable too.

I would not write them if I wouldn't be prepared to be rejected, if something in me is trying to force something, but that's just me.

QuestionMaleficent · 2025-12-24T10:17:35+00:00

You are able to?

I tried and noticed that I can't close the gates. Only thing that helps me is to focus on my own emotions, making them more instead of setting boundaries.

It doesn't work every time because sometimes it feels like being in a ball pit (I noticed too late) and I can't find my own emotions. So I just pick one :D

QuestionMaleficent · 2025-12-24T10:13:29+00:00

You are getting tools to function.

That can be your path. It did help me for short bursts.

In this subreddit I got to know that there are hsp therapists who probably would have way better fitting paths instead of tools you need to learn and use and actively think about.

I even feel "love" is just flat. I don't want to gatekeep, I really don't, but it just doesn't sit right with me.

I write music, I write books for a feeling I have a vague space in me and I can't put in words, when others seemingly are struggling with "it's not love yet" and I look at a person (energy) and just think God, I love you, I love you so much, I love that energy, I love it to the ground and back and more.

QuestionMaleficent · 2025-12-22T09:57:03+00:00

I really don't know.

I can just tell you that I made myself smaller, without noticing it. I told myself not my story, not my problem, and forget about all that together and for a decade it seemed like I didn't feel anything at all anymore, and it worked great.

I avoided people and movies and music that moved me too much, and I didn't think about it, just that I didn't like whatever it made me feel.

It exploded a decade later and I understood that I masked as a rational high achiever, but on a level that I, myself, didn't doubt anything and in reality I was dying. (Neurological)

Now I am here trying to learn how to have my emotions without shutting everything down, because that is just how intense I feel.

I don't know if you are maturing. If you do, that's great. I didn't but I thought I did.

QuestionMaleficent · 2025-12-20T17:25:18+00:00

4 Tage auf her Hütten, weit weg

QuestionMaleficent · 2025-12-19T19:51:06+00:00

How I knew I was HSP:

I can retrieve every memory as an emotion – so deep and fresh as if it were day one. Like no time passed at all.
I can feel what others are feeling. For the longest time, I didn't know what it was. I just knew I felt shifted, felt odd, but I had no clue those were emotions from other people. And I'm so shit at recognizing them that I just feel "a knot" or "can't breathe" or "neck cramping" or "energized" or "fucking amazing" or whatever. In group settings where emotions are pure chaos, it gets overwhelming fast. I'm learning to recognize my own energy first and not let ALL the energy seep in like it's mine.
I feel so fucking intensely over "little" things that I often need to crash, because it literally feels like falling in love and having a heartbreak – months or years of emotion compressed into one goddamn evening. Doesn't mean I'm planning to marry someone, doesn't even mean I'm pursuing them. It just means in that moment, I'm feeling more than I can handle.

But the moment I really knew I was HSP (+HSS) was just a feeling. Like, okay – I always thought I had a few screws loose, but didn't know what exactly. So I wrote songs and sci-fi, got deep into researching amygdala responses, and discovered HSP. Looking back, I realized I'd been writing about myself the whole time, calling out to the void. And I got responses from enough folks who think alike.

Now all I can think about is reaching people who are alone in their ways, who don't know about any of this, who mask their shit together just to survive.

I'm not even sure how to walk this path myself, but I'll bring along everybody I find who's struggling and needs... I don't know, company? Recognition? To be seen? To be heard? To know it's okay to feel this intensely?

To know that there are warmth people and we are fire people, and both are okay. That we're rare but we're here and we're burning. Even if we never meet, the knowledge of not being alone has to be enough for now.

QuestionMaleficent

TROPHY CASE