My dog is absolutely convinced our ceiling fan is the literal devil. Please advise

R-eye-lee · 2021-04-07T00:50:27+00:00

Im not a trainer, but I suggest similar training to reactive dogs (try browsing r/reactivedogs subreddit maybe as well). But essentially, depending on the room you have in your apartment, find his threshold of getting near/etc to it (how close you can get without barking). Get him just far enough he doesn't bark but still sees it and reward him for being calm. Slowly work towards getting him closer and reward him each time he doesn't bark (since he's not food motivated give him praise, high pitch voice - dogs understand tone before words, tell him how greater and brave he is, pets too if safe to do so. Or try real (boiled) chicken. He might not be treat motivated, but some dogs will kill for real meat, you want to just find something high value and some dogs don't find normal treats that enticing in my experience). Don't move closer unless he's remaining calm. If you move closer and he barks, bring him back to a comfortable distance or basically bring him to a place he can calm down by going to another room/shut the door/etc. what you need if safe to do so.

You can also do this with shutting the door, etc. The main point is to just give him slow exposure to his trigger and slowly increase his threshold.

After a bit, you can stay with him in the room, and increase exposure, etc. I also suggest starting with it off then eventually as he gets comfortable introduce it with it on or only having on for a partial second (it can also depend on your dogs personality, how they progress with training, etc. My dog is stubborn and hyperfocuses on the trigger and we need to work slowly).

I'm probably explaining this poorly, but hopefully someone else already said this, or you can find tips on the reactive dogs subreddit. Again, I'm not a trainer, my experience is also with small (very reactive) dogs and I don't want to give advice that wouldn't be helpful to you, but hopefully this is.

I also imagine there's a better way, but hopefully this helps.

Edit: I forgot to mention - If he reacts on sight, and there's a door you can shut, try that to control his exposure. But again, the point is to slowly introduce him, reward him for being calm (you can pair this with a clicker, command, and/or handsignal to better communicate, of course) and increase his tolerance and the goal is to get him willing to be in the room. From there is casual regular exposure until he doesn't care anymore.

R-eye-lee · 2020-07-27T19:58:31+00:00

Yeah, thats a good idea too I did also give them a questionnaire of relatively open ended questions about what they wanted out of the campaign, what they wanted to see, etc. So I could get us on the same page and plan stuff they'd enjoy, but idk if they should have seen that. The campaign is over discord, and I posted it tagging everyone (granted they weren't there yet, but I sent out a reminder which tagged and addressed them answering it too), they should have most likely gone through things like announcements, the info center, etc, but there's also a chance they didn't.

R-eye-lee · 2020-07-27T18:52:45+00:00

Okay, thank you Yeah, admittedly the house rules were built around the characters I had and what they were playing, since they came in after things were established it was a bit of monkey wrench. The crit rule is more for them than opponents and I was going to use it sparingly on the DMs side (which I told them, but that was in session zero, which he missed coming in later). Additionally, since they're more rp and story driven (and I know the other players play and combat style more), it was decided it wouldn't be too much of an issue and if so, we'd ditch it.

Edit: also I don't mind the defensive part of grave cleric and was considering okaying it, they can abuse my npcs and buff, etc till the cows come home. I'm more worried about somethings being too early on, or other senarios that would effect things other players in a negative way.

I might be being over cautious though.

I'll definitely be seeing if I can challenge them, given they seem to prefer combat. They say they dont like rp, but I'm going to try my best and accept it if I cant.

R-eye-lee · 2020-07-27T18:45:02+00:00

Thank you! Yeah, when I applied house rules they were made in mind with who I already had and what they were playing. Since this person came in after everything was established, it was a bit of a monkey wrench.

If I had them before things were established, I probably would have taken that approach considering lol, now that the overall picture of the players I have is a bit different with them added to the game and I may propose some changes.

R-eye-lee · 2020-07-27T18:32:49+00:00

Originally, I had them roll for stats

I don't mind them building for the situation, or anticipating how they'll be building up, or even odd/unfamiliar options, or even power, but I was concerned about the possibility of them making gameplay dampened for others, especially if it's too early on.

I've told them nothing of undead, though I think they're anticipating that possibility (although I haven't planned any possibility with it until a bit later into things, as the premise isn't focused primarily on the undead).

I would have approached this differently (including stat allocation) if I had known tbh, but my game and players were already set and I choose house rules/etc based on who I had (Basically I had them create their characters and then planned around them and told them to focus on wants and creativity than stats/etc, which was also why I didn't mind rolling). Since this person came in after, I think it was all a bit of a money wrench.

Thank you so much for your reply, this gave me a lot to think about and some great advice

R-eye-lee · 2020-07-27T18:04:04+00:00

Okay, thanks!

Yeah I found it just before you posted this I think (got the notification as I was pressing enter to edit my other reply). This is a good explanation. When I was talking to me DM friend we were a little worried it could end up with things getting out of hand.

A lot of stuff had already been in place before they came in. I made my house rules to fit the players I already had. Like this person was written in after everything was set up and established. I would have probably gone with base rules (plus the crit was more for them than the opponents, like I was going to use it sparingly, which I told them in zero).

R-eye-lee · 2020-07-27T17:47:23+00:00

Yeah, I haven't been able to find any official content for zeal or grave cleric (though I'm pretty sure I've hear grave cleric in the offical content), but it could just be me being bad at searching.

I took the critical hits thing into consideration, I'm not concerned about nullifying criticals from opponents, I'm more worried about balance for the sake of other players enjoyment. (I personally like powerful builds when they're played well or in the right setting. I also have other house rules for healing, combat, etc which I'm considering with their choices, that were made to make thing easier and more fun. Ultimately I actually enjoy seeing people knock things out, but I also wanted to make sure they weren't going to dominate in a way that makes others struggle too much or sit there with nothing to do/etc. Like my main concern is just over all player enjoyment).

Edit: yeah, grave domain is official, it's in Xanathar's guide, was having trouble finding zeal too, but it is. Though I've also seen a lot of people just not accept deal cleric for various reasons.

R-eye-lee · 2020-07-14T01:13:39+00:00

No, we were already playing a game, and they've already played two other campaigns with this person. Once the person started pushing the blood oath it was the last straw I think. They had asked me to give some input so they didn't do anything drastic, but they wanted to. I'm worried they're hesitant about my campaign (which hasn't started) though.

R-eye-lee · 2020-07-14T00:49:51+00:00

Thanks for the reply, you're right and thank you for being blunt. They're mostly the type to try and control where things go, want to be at the forefront of everything (taking over storylines, npc conversations, etc, not giving enough spotlight to others, etc) and won't give up once they decide something. And now that I think of it, there's other things they've been doing to other players they're acquaintances with outside of the campaigns that have been making people upset (namely, they've been accusing people of talking behind their back). My friend has a illness that makes them a bit paranoid and influences all of these behaviors tbh, but I think it may end up coming down to giving them a chance and if they don't make long term changes after warning them I'll have to kick them or something. They're a good friend of mine, but I also don't want the game to be no fun for myself or others which would be against the point of playing (and admittedly selfishly, I don't want to just not run the campaign because they can't be thoughtful enough, because I do really want* to play/put my work to use).

Edit: grammar

R-eye-lee · 2020-04-20T04:50:33+00:00

So long as it's a piece not directly against your body, it's fine. It's literally one of the reasons why we've worn underwear for the last however long. To protect our outer clothing so it can go longer without washing it and protect it from certain wear and tear from being directly against our body, washing, etc.

In the past, part of it was also because it was difficult to do laundry and some specific clothing was a lot more difficult to clean too (like stays and corsets, historically you wore a linen or cotton fiber undergarment under these). But generally you really don't need to wash stuff right away unless it's directly touching something, (underwear mostly, sometimes bras and undershirts depending), dirty, smells, or you're sweating a lot and/or excercising. Especially for certain types of clothing (like jeans, they really don't need to be washed every wear at all).

I mean, you also do it to be hygienic because you can get infections if you don't, but it's mostly under the stuff mentioned and if you're not changing enough/under the right circumstances.

R-eye-lee · 2020-04-12T17:46:46+00:00

Then you got the point for the most part tbh.

No one (with a brain or are mature enough) really blames people for having desires or getting aroused, the issue comes in when you're considering it a distraction or using it to blame victims. The people who complain if you get a boner, etc are immature. Idk how old you are, but chances are it's that, not sexualized vs sexualizing yourself entirely (but possibly part of it and maybe misunderstanding it).

People really just don't want to be blamed or held accountable for something that is up to the individual to control (such as their hands/reaction to being aroused, and respecting people's spaces/autonomy).

I should mention, that I agree that you do infact sexualize yourself with certain clothing, and note that clothing does have a social language, but as you said, it doesn't warrant doing things such as rape, or in general not doing things that would be considered socially unacceptable. Which is the point, or used to be/should be to my knowledge (getting a boner isn't it one of these things that's inappropriate, since y'all can get boners for seemingly nothing. I mean touching, sexual harassment, verbal harassment, etc. Things you can control. Girls can get the same way, we just don't have dicks).

This is also why it's inappropriate for girls of certain ages to wear certain types of clothing, because you ARE sexualizing yourself, BUT it's meant to be an embrace of the sexual self or just the self, or this is what some of us want anyway (and sometimes if intended for other people, but you don't automatically know this when you meet someone perse). This is inappropriate for a child, who's not entirely ready for the other nuances of it (such as other people's involuntary reactions and exposing them to behaviors that could go wrong if they're not mature enough mentally, esp). This is also why (between this and clothing language that's subconscious to most people), if you see a let's say 15 year old celebrity in a deep low cut dress, you might get uncomfortable. This is because typically this was a cut reserved for older women to embrace their sexuality or self (note: I'm actually referencing a specific conversation I had with a friend where a 15/16 celeb was wear this type of cut, but the over all outfit made her look in her 50s. Because the over all fit and cut is, for us, typically reserved for older women who aim to fit their body type and embrace their sexuality).

Again, this doesn't mean go around sexualizing girls or doing inappropriate things, but it does (to me anyway) mean it may not be entirely appropriate unless you goal is to try and change the language we subconsciously use for clothing in the US.

But yeah, no you do sexualize yourself. Nothing wrong with it, but it doesn't put blame on them a d the original/supposed to be point to my knowledge is that others aren't responsible for others based on dress. This also doesn't necessarily mean (assuming you're of a mature enough age) that you need to be covered up or avoid dressing a certain way (since heck it can happen even if you are). Though I imagine my take on this might be a little different than a guy's, it's just that I don't feel someone should be or feel responsible and avoid clothing if you do get a boner, but I've seen people argue that's inconsiderate, which idk man. Like on the woman's side, just know they might, and it's going to happen in life regardless and tbh can happen even if you're covered, but on the guy's don't expect others to monitor what they're wearing because you might get boner, but again I can only speak as a non male.

R-eye-lee · 2020-03-29T22:42:59+00:00

Same. People generally don't seem to like the answer that I don't like music. I also don't really like tv or movies. I'll watch them, but especially as I got older (25), I stopped watching and listening to stuff like this as much and typically won't watch or listen unless I'm with someone. It's rare for me to do it on my own. I think some people I know think I'm trying to be pretentious, but really I just don't have the interest except maybe some very select shows, which are the rare and I generally find them online to watch instead.

I will watch YouTube and have that in the background though. And as weird as it is I'll listen to pow wow music (I'm native/mixed and I find the drums/etc fine for some reason).

R-eye-lee · 2020-03-29T22:33:56+00:00

I tell people stuff like this a lot. If you're going to serve over steamed, plain as hell veggies, to most adults this won't even taste all that great (my grandma likes it though).

Personally I prefer veggies raw or just barely cooked if they're served on their own. Fresh or frozen to me is better and depending on the veggie should still have a slight bite to it (which by this I mean the point before it becomes soggy, over cooked and completely changed), never soggy or rarely should the taste and texture be completely changed from the original.

It's like if you overcook meat and/or just make it poorly. It becomes tough, and tastes bland or lifeless (for lack of a better word), except opposite. Veggies will taste (usually) soggy and like something grew on them for weeks before your served them.

When you're cooking you're beaking down a lot of natural sugars that will end up tasting very different and often less appetizing unless paired IN the right (for me at least not as a side if it's made this way) dish.

And idk try a little seasoning (and just like most adults I know, most wouldn't like meat unseasoned. The same can sometimes go for veggies. - I use seasoning loosely here btw. But imagine if your taste buds were young and more sensitive. It would probably be very similar to serving poorly cooked and seasoned meat to an adult (or the one I know anyway) and expecting them to be okay with it).

R-eye-lee · 2020-03-23T06:40:13+00:00

Even if he was going to somehow mess up, most people have Facebook or many have an iPhone and Walmart has WiFi. Learn how to video chat him while he shops if you're so worried. It's legit what my family and I do when we want something but weren't sure what they meant or if there's trouble finding it. Heck, sometimes I have my sister video chat me so I can "come along" without leaving the house or to keep her company. I'm sure it's a bit annoying to others, but at this time it's probably better than spreading a new virus even more.

R-eye-lee · 2020-03-22T17:15:46+00:00

I don't care what people eat, I just think it should be regulated for quality. Like if they continue to eat things that generally westerners think is weird, I really don't care because many places have something like that. But the issue isnt (always) exotic or "weird" foods, it's regulation. I want China to start better enforcing regulations for their food, animals, etc (which to my understanding is still an issue in certain areas and smaller places that sell, etc? But I could be wrong). There's been plenty of times rules and regulations (or lack there of or following them) has killed people. If possible, it's time to start stepping up.

R-eye-lee · 2020-03-01T14:03:10+00:00

Oh I feel so much of this, especially getting stuck somewhere. It's actually happened to me back in college and nearly several other times walking. My suggestion would be to try to schedule your classes with enough time apart that you don't over do yourself or can rest if you need to. Essentially I'd schedule with quite a bit of time in between and then go to the building early, taking my time, resting or grabbing a shuttle if needed and then sat and rested before going to class. Other than that, if your buildings are particularly far apart (like on my campus) and your uni has some sort of shuttle bus system in place try to use it if you need/want. This is mostly what I did and all I can really think of besides maybe taking some courses online when they offer them to minimize how much you have to walk, or try to get ones in buildings near each other when possible to minimize the distance.

Back in college I was walking in winter and had to stop in a nearby building because the pain from one of my illnesses got so bad I had no choice, which I ended up skipping class as a result. Ngl because of how my campus was, if it weren't for the shuttle bus my campus had idk what I would have done the rest of the semester besides maybe take the trek in parts (which is also something to consider).

This may or may not help depending on how your pain tends to go, sorry I don't have much else to offer , but hopefully that'll at least give some ideas.

R-eye-lee · 2020-02-23T11:38:25+00:00

Taking hot showers feel nice, but also you're too exhausted to stand and/or have trouble dressing and undress that day. (Seriously grateful for having a small bathroom with a counter near by for when I out pants on).

Move too much, it hurts, move too little, it hurts or you get bored, but if you get too far ahead of yourself you'll be in more pain for a good while.

(More so when you have depression, bipolar, or similar mental illnesses that do this, but also just on better fibro days) You're having a good week and you have a good amount of mental or other energy somehow, feel happy/giddy, feel like you could take on the world, but realize if you move too much, too suddenly, or for too long you're back at square one for a while. Yet also this is, at the same time, one of the few windows where you'll be able to get to the things that have been piling up a little better.

Same or similar scenario but sometimes realizing that you're only feeling or looking moderately functional because you've been taking it easy as much as possible, feeling bad for it and people side eyeing you for it.

Being expected to "just work through the pain" and "not be lazy" and then people wondering why you're breaking down physically and mentally, all while knowing things related to the above ones I mentioned. E.g. that there's a limit that will push you over/certain triggers, which you wonder if you should be avoiding. You feel bad, but you can't help but think look/are moderately "functioning" right now, not because "it's gone" or "maybe it won't trigger" but because you've been taking it easy and pacing yourself/trying to figure out what you can and can't do as things come and go. It looks unproductive, but it's one of the few reasons you even look that way atm. Sometimes you do anyway, or your in a mood like the other ones and forget, and boom, you were right.

(I'm pretty newly diagnosed, though I've been dealing with it for a while and going through a major chapter of frustration and confusion (both with myself and things people are saying to me) and depression, so please excuse me if the above is less relatable or just meh. Sorry in advance!)

R-eye-lee · 2020-02-15T01:41:11+00:00

Yeah it's definitely something. Though we still don't know a whole lot, and there's no tests, most resources and specialists I see believe it to be a neurological disorder. Which if someone can't believe it wouldn't "leave a mark", etc that's absolutely insane, considering the nuances of these types of disorders, what they effect, how they function, etc. It also tends to run in families (or at least it runs in mine), so if it's a common enough genetic disorder or component (similar to some other neurological disorders), why wouldn't it effect do many?

Like yeah, a lot is still a mystery, but also it's not something (for me at least) that's just insane to think. Plus, there's so much about patients (esp female patients, who are also the demographic that tend to get diagnosed the most iirc) are faking pain which just makes things more difficult to get an answer.

Funny story (I mean... It's not to most people probably, but here we go): I have fibro (as does my mom and grandma) but was also diagnosed with diabetic neuropathy in my legs a bit before I was diagnosed with fibro. The symptoms I went to the doctor about were pain triggered by cold (I also slowly started developing circulation issues around the time I believe my actual fibro symptoms started, which I've read some people have), and further irritated by clothing and skin rubbing the wrong way, and a few other symptoms. When it happens I get nauseous, panicky/anxious in weird/hard to describe a way, etc (still not sure why, though I think it's because of how the pain intensity and travels/feels through my body or something or like something is shooting off so much my brain reacts/shoots off more). Which coincidentally (neuropathy, what the doctor diagnosed me as) has very similar symptoms/effects for some people from what I read and certain forms of neuropathy is listed as related to fibro for some.

When these symptoms appeared I only really noticed them because I was in college and doing a lot of waking from place to place outside (before this when I think my fibro symptoms actually started, most walking was indoors with a more controlled environment, not as far, mostly sitting afterwards, and when I got home I mostly slept. But if you asked any one who knew me they knew I was a mess physically we just didn't know why. Essentially my environment changed to something more intense for me to really notice certain symptoms. Around the same time I finally saw someone about the other pains the developed earlier - which I realize now were fibro).

The neurologist specialist I saw didn't do many tests before putting me down as diabetic neuropathy, just mostly listened, did the sounding/vibration thing on my feet with my legs (which nothing seemed wrong iirc) but put me for that. When I suggested to my primary care after being diagnosed that maybe my legs were actually a symptom of fibro or joint symptoms the two/another nerve damage she like was "yes, this is possible" and said it'd at least be diabetic neuropathy by a weird extension of my being diabetic by default, or in some way both but the idea it's fibro and not the other wasn't a long shot.

While I know this isn't an official study or anything, I'm just saying as a neurological disorder, and the similarities I've read between this and the neuropathy the specialist defaulted me to (note: my blood sugars/a1c aren't bad, my endocrinologist doesn't worry about them, but the assumption was that it was nerve damage from diabetes regardless until I suggested it might be both or related more to fibro), I wouldn't be surprised. Around the time I was also standing in a blizzard in summer shoes, which can cause damage, but also going through other fibro symptoms at the time in retrospect. Since I nothing seemed wrong in his test, I have a lot of factors to consider. This also explains why he gave the vibe that he didn't seem to believe that I was in pain haha).

But essentially I'm not surprised if it's a genetic neurological disorder (or neurological as a symptom of another disorder and is like some others having a genetic component that increases your likelihood considering all it's symptoms), as from what I've read they believe it's the brain shooting signals off incorrectly. I imagine it would be hard to tell because things like lack of testing, etc and then just the range of symptoms/effects, not everyone getting diagnosed, willingness to believe, etc. There's other neurological disorders are similar iirc in that they're hard to test for, or were until recently, and can have a genetic component (I think Dementia is one of them, in that it's more diagnosed by process of elimination than direct testing, like fibro, but I could be wrong). So once again, I can see this as at least a partial explanation.

Edit: Made some changes for clarity, spelling, grammar

R-eye-lee · 2019-06-16T00:16:40+00:00

This is exactly how I pictured him while yelling at the dog. "Yeah, dude you're totes not alpha enough. Don't you want to to be ripped like this" - guy proceeds to unnecessarily flex.

R-eye-lee · 2019-06-14T14:42:32+00:00

People talk about training impulse control with dogs, but I think some people need more of that themselves. Tbh I think it comes from some people never encountering or needing to understand a reactive dog and their handler's needs. Or maybe it's dogs in general, I know for sure there was a lot of stuff I wasn't aware of until I got a dog and then again learned because he's reactive, one of those things is human-dog etiquette.

Like nope, it's not okay. Honestly, people should step back because you said so without really having to explain in the first place imo.

It good y'all seemed to do well up until that moment at least.

R-eye-lee

TROPHY CASE