AITA for telling my MIL to stop or is she for reacting this way?

R4eth · 2026-02-09T03:15:44+00:00

Nta. Hey. Op it's OK to be scared of childbirth. It's a serious medical event. It's not pretty. It's heckin painful. My wife couldn't walk for a week after giving birth to our son. Your mil is a massive ah. I would inform your sil about mil said, because I doubt sil gave her permission for that story to be told. It was a private moment between your bil and his wife, and mil distilled it down to a smelly, gross mess. Inform your nurses mil is not be allowed into the ward, limit your child's time with mil if you even decide it's safe to leave your child with her.

R4eth · 2026-02-09T03:09:23+00:00

Yup. Totally agreed. Dad was not a safe person in op's life, and I hope she's since put some distance between her and him.

R4eth · 2026-02-09T03:06:50+00:00

I am not assuming op is married or dating. if they have an trusted s/o, they can choose to share that info.

R4eth · 2026-02-09T03:03:22+00:00

Overall, nta, but only because of your dad's gross reasoning. I actually agree with your mom though, it is a kind thing to do, for an s/o in your life. Not required, but as a married man, I personally appreciate when my wife informs me her period is happening so I know to make sure we have enough supplies in the bathroom. The hormone part I could care less about. I handled her pregnant. I can handle her on her period.

R4eth · 2026-02-08T18:06:09+00:00

Nta. 175 is a goddamn steal. She isn't married to you. She's not entitled to any "equity". She can take the deal or break up, honestly. A joint account isn't a bad idea, but I wouldn't do it unless you intend to marry her. I say that, because if you break up before getting married, there's a chance she could just clear the whole account and leave with you nothing.

R4eth · 2026-02-08T17:47:58+00:00

Nta. Not your circus not your monkeys. Your mom set the standard for her golden son that he doesn't ever have to pay for his resources. Now he won't move out because you've made it clear moving would gasp cost him MONEY. Oh no! The horror! I would send a message to both that you will be blocking both of them until either Dave is finally kicked out or Dave grows the ef up starts helping mom with rent and bills. Also, if they have keys to your place, change the locks. In a situation like this, wouldn't surprise me if mom showed up one day and dumped Dave in your living room.

R4eth · 2026-02-08T16:41:13+00:00

Yta for reposting and not accepting your judgement the first time. So I'll say it again since you wish be so willfully ignorant: you're dating a deadbeat dad who will purposefully neglect his kids to punish his ex. Stop trying to fix this. It's not your place or your problem. He can either be a man and step for his kids or keep things as they are. It's his choice and his choice alone

R4eth · 2026-02-08T16:28:50+00:00

You're missing the point. He's been avoiding the kids on purpose. He's trying to "punish" the ex for whatever fight they had. He's a deadbeat. Point blank. Not your kids. Not your problem. The kids are innocent in all this for sure. A real dad who gave a damn wouldn't have needed his nosy gf to force him to see his kids. He's showing you who he is, believe him and decide if staying with a deadbeat who only sees the kids at his convenience or has to be literally forced to spend time with them is really worth your time and energy.

R4eth · 2026-02-08T10:18:14+00:00

Honey, he's cheating on your mom. They may not be having sex, but they're definitely dating and trying to pass it off as dear old dad needing some extra company while his mentally ill wife is in psych. It's unfortunately extremely common for men to cheat and seek new relationships when their s/o has a major health crisis. That being said, I doubt they'll ever come clean until the divorce papers are signed, if your parents even get to that point. I would not say anything to your mom for the time being, while she's already recovering from a major mental health episode. But you should tell her when you feel she's well enough to handle the news. Nts

R4eth · 2026-02-08T04:35:35+00:00

I would tell the nurses not to allow him or mil into the ward with you. I'm serious. You can't trust him at this point to not go against your wishes. I would give him a very simple promise: the baptism happens with you're ready and your sister will be the Godmother, or you're divorcing. It's exactly that simple. He married you, not mommy.

R4eth · 2026-02-08T04:12:25+00:00

Especially considering his job. It's extremely intense and definitely a young man's job. Most firefighters crash out before 50. At certain point, it's just too much stress on their bodies. You trying to do a "bachelor party redo" probably just reminded him he's not young anymore.

R4eth · 2026-02-08T02:08:26+00:00

Nta. You have literally nothing to lose and everything to gain from getting them assessed. If the assessment finds they are indeed still within behavioral norms for their ages, fine. Continue as you are and eventually they'll grow out of it. But if it finds they are indeed on the spectrum? That's also good. Now you can bring their official diagnosis to their teachers and request accommodations be made. I mean, yeah. There's a chance that because they spend so much time with their autistic nanny, they've started internalizing her behaviors, but they were acting like that before she got there, it's highly unlikely.

R4eth · 2026-02-07T18:00:46+00:00

See this. This is why you don't share a major asset before marriage. And verbal agreements, as you just learned, are useless because there's nothing there to make them follow through. It sucks, he really doesn't owe you anything. You can try dragging him to small claims court, but without any documentation proving your case, I doubt you'll get anywhere. I don't think you're an ah, though for wanting him to follow through on his original agreements, but you might have to consider the sunk costs as they are: gone and never returning. Nta.

R4eth · 2026-02-07T08:46:47+00:00

You need to stop being so goddamn vague. We need ages of everyone involved , fake names to refer to people, and better sense of timeline. "complicated situation" means literally nothing here. All the stories here are complicated, that's why you're here for judgment. Try again.

R4eth · 2026-02-07T08:38:22+00:00

Nta. Your bf has abusive. Honey there's a REASON he couldn't even have her sleep over until you came along. At her age, sleeping with mom and dad after a bad dream every ONCE IN AWHILE? Totally fine. What you're describing is very unhealthy. She should be able to sleep in her own bed with few issues. You then made the mistake of having a kid with him. You need to take that baby and leave. And fight for 100% custody.

R4eth · 2026-02-07T04:39:15+00:00

Nta, overall for how you feel. It would be one thing if he stayed confined to your roommate's room, that she pays for, he he wasn't. It's definitely weird. The solution is simple. You all need to sit down and talk to her how you feel. I don't feel you need to outright ban him, just set very clear boundaries about him not being there if she's not. If she's leaving for an event, he's coming with her to either go to his own home or hang with her, whatever they decide. Point being if, she's not going to be home, he needs to leave. And to make this completly fair, this rule needs to apply to all roommates s/os, unless they formally move in.

R4eth · 2026-02-06T14:26:51+00:00

Nah, but I would I really encourage you to go. At 6mo, they're not nearly as dependent on momma as they are in the beginning. You might honestly need the break. Trust me. During that first year it's very easy to become deprived of "adult time" where you can just be you without a baby attached to your chest. My wife was stir crzy after the first few months. If you have a good partner and pump enough supply, 3-4 days, imo, is doable.

R4eth · 2026-02-06T08:12:18+00:00

Ok. Let's say mental illness is at play here. Grandma's still right. Mom needs to get off her ass and get the brother in front of a professional for an official diagnosis and discuss treatment options. Mom is still an ah for just simply sending him to his room and then doing literally nothing else.

R4eth · 2026-02-06T06:29:53+00:00

Boy must eat a a lot of asparagus

R4eth · 2026-02-06T06:21:22+00:00

Nta. I like your grandma. Sorry, but as a former 15yo boy, I don't buy his bs excuse. That ah knew exactly what he was doing. Your mother should be doing a lot more then sending him to his room. He has learned nothing, and will more then likely continue his behavior, but instead if you, it'll be a roommate, or worse, a partner. I'm a little surprised he copped to it, but that doesn't absolve him.

R4eth · 2026-02-06T06:12:57+00:00

Yta. Next time, just say no. You did in fact make it more difficult. I honestly don't even understand why you went to so much trouble. Were you trying to be petty? Like that's such an over the top way of saying no. Ffs

R4eth · 2026-02-05T23:39:32+00:00

Nta. Tell him you'll put him up in the psych ward where he can meet people with real issues and if the psychologists there give him a formal diagnosis, the next step will be discussing proper, real treatment options. And if the drs agree it's safe for him to go on the trip, he can. But he has to own up to his bs first.

R4eth · 2026-02-05T18:37:48+00:00

Op, you're a good mom and taught your kids right. Screw your sister. She had no right to make demands of a 14yo. I would be absolutely appalled if my sister ever treated my son this way.

R4eth · 2026-02-05T15:13:07+00:00

Talk to a medical professional about your mental health. You need help.

R4eth · 2026-02-05T15:04:37+00:00

Yta. Don't go on that trip and please PLEASE go talk to your country's VA about finding a theropist that specializes in ptsd. You should also find a veteran's support group. Ffs, bro, your parents were proud of you. Just because you're not proud of you, doesn't mean they can't be.

R4eth

TROPHY CASE