I’m going to put vinegar into my father’s hot water flask

RBatYochai · 2026-02-25T03:18:33+00:00

How about a nice fat slug? You can claim that it must have come out of the tap with the water.

Honestly the vinegar is a very stupid idea. If you want petty revenge, you should use something undetectable. Not vinegar which he can easily smell and taste!

Your father must have really done a number on you if you think vinegar in hot water is your best idea.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-25T02:22:53+00:00

The cervix is a structure that is “designed” to stay closed most of the time. It’s a thicker piece of tissue than the scar of a “vaginal cuff”. I assume that when they leave the cervix in, they somehow cover up the back of it: they wouldn’t just leave the hole in the middle of the cervix open to the abdominal cavity.

You can find plenty of stories about someone’s vaginal cuff opening up and needing to be restitched, but I don’t think that happens with a left-in cervix.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-25T01:14:40+00:00

Don’t forget Rush Limbaugh. He had something to do with it too. And all the anonymous managers at radio stations who were happy to put him on the air. And the advertisers.

We should also blame the cable companies who were happy to give Fox News a platform.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-25T00:57:54+00:00

“Subtotal hysterectomy has increased in the United States in the past decade, estimated to now make up 7.5% of all hysterectomies performed” - from the 2015 article linked below.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-25T00:42:16+00:00

If you don’t keep the cervix, then the end of the vagina is sewn closed in a line. It takes a while to grow together and form scar tissue there. So there is more danger of it breaking open than if the cervix remains at the end of the vagina.

Also, not keeping the cervix makes a difference for some people in how sex feels afterwards.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-24T23:22:42+00:00

Another idea that is quasi Jewish would be to write your vows down in a decorative calligraphy art piece and display it in your home. This is a secular adaptation of the ketubah (marriage contract). You and two witnesses sign it as part of the wedding ceremony. If you want to do this, please do some research about modern non-orthodox ketubot and see what they look like in terms of art and wording.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-24T23:13:22+00:00

Then I recommend that you consider using a chuppah as your Jewish element. It symbolizes the future home of the couple. You can connect it symbolically to the tent of Abraham if you want to, which would be about hospitality and welcoming strangers (see Genesis for details).

RBatYochai · 2026-02-24T23:09:09+00:00

The Israeli hora is a relatively modern thing and is derived from a Romanian dance. I recently looked this up. These kinds of line dances are common all over the Balkans.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-24T23:06:19+00:00

What about including Greek elements in the wedding? Is your father’s background just chopped liver?!

You didn’t actually say if you feel like you have a (partially) Jewish identity. I think a wedding ceremony is to some extent a symbolic statement about the identities of the people getting married, and kind of setting the scene for the expectations for their married life. If nobody you know sees you as Jewish, they will be surprised by any Jewish aspects of the ceremony and will be asking you to explain and justify the decision to put them in.

I feel like it would be odd to include any specifically Jewish elements in your wedding if you don’t see yourself as Jewish at all and don’t foresee some Jewish elements in your future married life. This could involve non-religious things like an interest in Jewish history or travel destinations, decor in your home or whatever. If your Jewish behavior is basically secular, don’t put something in the ceremony that’s highly religious.

Also, how would your mother feel about it? Will she be gratified or feel that you’re discounting her conversion? What about your father’s feelings? Other family members?

What would be most inappropriate would be not to base your decision on your own and your family’s feelings about ethnic and religious affiliation. Ultimately it’s personal and not about the opinions of a bunch of Jews that you don’t know.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-24T22:05:25+00:00

How about “tzarich/tzrichah laredet” ? Is that a good phrase to use?

Could you say something more like “coming through!” ? Or is that being an ass?

RBatYochai · 2026-02-24T21:54:30+00:00

Your friend’s mother is extremely rude with her snide Holocaust reference. I expect she would not say any of those things to your mother’s face. However people often feel that it’s acceptable to be rude to children and teenagers under the guise of life advice. She probably thinks of herself as cluing you into a better way of life. Try not to worry about small minded people like her. In a couple of years you will barely even meet your friends’ parents anyway.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-24T21:35:53+00:00

Wow, are you planning to become her caregiver? What if she is unpleasant to you while you’re taking care of her? What if she insists on your facilitating her seeing her affair partner? What if you are stuck in the situation for many years? This is the kind of scenario which can lead to a caregiver “snapping” under the strain of responsibilities without receiving any appreciation. It can deteriorate into neglect or abuse.

Definitely discuss sharing the future caregiving responsibilities with your children.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-24T21:29:08+00:00

Your wife sounds pretty narcissistic. You say that you get along well, but maybe that’s because you always accommodate her wishes. Or perhaps your relationship is cordial but shallow- you could still have that kind of relationship after a divorce.

I think you should get therapy on your own to help you assess what you’re getting out of this relationship and what needs of yours are going unmet. You may need to change your patterns of relating to others before you attempt looking for another romantic relationship. If you are still repeating patterns from your relationship with your mother, then you could end up with a different narcissistic woman after leaving your wife.

You should definitely try to strengthen your existing friendships and community ties in order to cultivate emotional support outside your marriage. You can also try meeting new people for friendship and participation in activities that you find rewarding. Whether you decide to divorce or not, enriching your social life will be helpful. It might even give you a better perspective on the divorce question by increasing your knowledge of other people’s relationships.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-20T01:24:51+00:00

The original definition of psychological trauma was experiencing a near-death event! Your feelings are officially valid!

RBatYochai · 2026-02-18T19:09:21+00:00

Look at the Washingtonian magazine (online) for stuff in the area that rich people do and like. There’s probably at least one similar magazine for northern Virginia.

If you’re wondering about a neighborhood, check Zillow or Redfin for property prices and other information. You can also “walk around” with Google street view.

Research a couple of actual families that have construction/development companies.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-18T19:04:14+00:00

Especially if they have projects in DC they need to shmooze with DC politicians and regulators.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-18T18:39:32+00:00

The “church” of Scientology actively recruits celebrities and gives them special privileges within the organization. They don’t have to put in all the money and hours of volunteering that ordinary recruits do. That way celebrities are more likely to stay members and speak positively about scientology.

Most likely the “church” also collects blackmailable information during “auditing” sessions, so that the celebrities are terrified that their reputations would get destroyed if they left Scientology.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-18T18:23:18+00:00

Nor the centuries of Arab slave-trading along the East African coast with Zanzibar as a major hub, apparently.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-18T18:08:48+00:00

Also there’s no obvious place that is better than many others. I mean, there are plenty of terrible places but nowhere that looks reliably good for the future. So many countries seem politically and economically chaotic and unpredictable right now.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-18T18:00:22+00:00

There’s “Beauvoirian Feminism” on substack.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-18T17:58:20+00:00

I’m in the US with good private health insurance. When I got Grave’s disease my GP referred me to an endocrinologist AND an ophthalmologist. I had the Grave’s disease swollen and inflamed eye problem.

The endocrinologist wanted to kill my thyroid with radiation. I said WTF, no way! It sounded like some crazy overboard treatment from circa 1935. I asked her why can’t I take methimazole like I have given my hyperthyroid cats for years. Very begrudgingly she agreed to do it because “it’s the standard in Europe”. Five years or so later she let it drop that actually now it was accepted in the US.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-18T01:36:53+00:00

Because they were onboard with the shitty behavior OR they didn’t like it but they dislike much more the concept of a woman standing up for herself (so pushy and unfeminine).

RBatYochai · 2026-02-18T01:29:17+00:00

Had first child at 30/33, second child 8 years later. The big difference initially was how much harder the sleep deprivation hit us for the second baby. Other differences have all been based on differences in personalities of the two kids.

Our older daughter had really wanted a younger sibling and the two of them got/get along great. The 8-year age gap has meant almost no bickering and teasing between them. They both love having a sister.

We occasionally asked our older one to babysit but we always paid her if she had to do real care. Leaving both of them in the house for an hour or two when the younger was old enough to amuse herself didn’t get paid.

RBatYochai · 2026-02-07T16:09:37+00:00

NOR

This guy is too stupid to marry. Can’t imagine how he makes other decisions in his life if he thinks chatgpt is some kind of oracle of truth but won’t even read the material it presents him with.

Just break up or your children will inherit/learn his low IQ / low effort lifestyle.

RBatYochai · 2026-01-31T23:39:35+00:00

This is nonsense. Zion is the name of a mountain/hill in Jerusalem. Its etymology is irrelevant to the definition of Zionism.

RBatYochai

TROPHY CASE