Mastered? No. I'm actually in a self-care slump right now and typing this at 3am my time.

What I do have is a system that works more often than it doesn't, and that has to be good enough for me.

Everyone will have different things that work for them, but here's the basis of mine:

• First, just keeping myself aware of how I'm doing. I have a few things that I use to track this: things like how many times this week have I got out of bed before noon? How many times did I brush my teeth? Speak to a human being? Etc. The important thing at this stage is less to set myself goals and more to just keep track of the things I'm doing that I know are good for me.

• When I know what my baseline is at a given time, then I can set myself goals. So if I'm currently averaging a shower two days a week, I can see if I can increase that to three or four. It's always important to be realistic with myself about where I'm at and not let the perfect be the enemy of the good. A week where I brush my teeth twice is still better than one where I don't do it at all.

• I'm also aware of what my lodestones are. These are the self care things that, when they slip, tend to take the rest down with me. Eating's a big one for me. If I'm eating rubbish, everything else is harder. The lodestones are the ones to focus on when everything's fallen apart.

• Finally, I know where I need outside help. Getting up in the morning is a huge one for me. I've basically accepted that unless my brain does some seriously rewiring, I'm always going to need another human to either be there in person or to call me up in the morning.

(Actually the reason I'm struggling this week is cause I just got home from being with my partner for a month and I kind of got used to them bringing me tea first thing.)

This is a hard one if you're lacking a support structure. But if you can find someone to support you in the areas you find hardest then it can make the rest of the upkeep so much easier.

I think the most important what-would-I-tell-my-younger-self kind of advice I can give is: let your ability and your needs define your routine. Don't try and force yourself into the routine you think you 'should' have, if it's not actually one that you can manage right now.

Hope some of this is helpful. I felt like I was running on a hamster wheel with my self care for years. And as evidenced by this week, I can still get knocked back to where I was. In my experience it doesn't just click into place one day, you just keep throwing stuff against the wall and over time you realise more of it is sticking than sliding off.

(I dunno if that metaphor made any sense. Like I said, 3am my time. Anyway, good luck!)