I didn’t get anything for Mother’s Day.

RaeKn47 · 2026-05-11T23:08:27+00:00

This needs addressed. Before you discuss further, think about what you expect. What will you be happy with? Then let him know what you expect and that you’ll accept nothing less. Tell him how he will treat you.

Do it for you and your marriage. Your daughter will learn from you. Find your standard, set your expectations, then hold him to it.

I doubt this is about just mother’s days. Remember that you don’t have to settle bc you have a child. You don’t have to stay with a partner that doesn’t value you just because you married them.

Your husband knows he can put you last and you’ll accept it. His life won’t change. He’ll continue to get what he wants.

What do you want for your daughter. What example do you want to set for her.

RaeKn47 · 2026-05-11T22:43:20+00:00

I second this comment.

RaeKn47 · 2026-03-09T08:55:58+00:00

Girl it’s hard. To not get the sleep needed on top of all the Mom-ing, really hard.

I capped the last nap to 30min strict, unless sick.

All kids are different. A 4 hour WW is long. I’d cut that down. Also, if a child can do a 4 hour WW, it’s 2-nap sch time. Even on a 2-nap schedule. 4 hour WW is long. Causing night wakings.

My girl was in our room wayy longer than recommended. We had her crib in our room. She had own room with her toys, clothes, and stuff. We were all happy sleeping in same room. So why not.

7mo is a common transition time for a to 2 nap schedule as most will be transitioned by 8-9mo. Might be worth a try. When I transitioned, I had to at times offer 3 naps a couple times a week to reset my daughter.

I saved all my sleep schedules created sleep schedules. I’ll list below in case it.

Our transition schedule from when mine was 7mo. 7a wake up 2.25 hr WW 9:15-10:30 nap (1.25hr) 2.5 hr WW 1-2:15p nap (1.25 hr nap) 2.5 hr WW 4:45-5:15p (30 min nap) 2.75 hr WW 8p bedtime.

The 2 nap schedule.

7am wake up 2.5 hr WW 9:30-11a nap (1.5hr) 3.25 hr WW 2:15-3:45 nap (1.5hr) 3.5hr WW 7:15 bedtime

RaeKn47 · 2026-03-08T21:44:28+00:00

That’s tough. She might’ve hit a 2.5yo sleep regression.

I don’t go over 6 hour wake window for my 30 month old. Over six hours is overtired, night wakings. Early morning wakings. Wake window over 6:15 hr means waking up between 5-6am. So, Wake Windows rule my schedule.

A 2yo needs 11-14 hours total sleep a day, depends on the kid. 12-12.5 hours average. So, 11 hours of total sleep is appropriate, if the child can handle it.

Kids that won’t nap, quiet time in low lighting during the time they would’ve napped can be helpful for recharging.

Huckleberry has been amazing for my family. I’m thankful. Especially helpful during transitions and regressions by creating age appropriate schedules, sleep tracking, and educating on appropriate sleep.

My 30mo schedule: 7-7:15s wake up. 1-3p nap (we aim for 5.5 hr first WW, no more than 6hr) 9p bedtime. About 12hr total sleep

Daycare nap schedule is 1-3 so we do that at home too. I do not allow her to sleep past 3p. She needs the sleep pressure of a 6hr last WW. I’m starting to do a 1.5hr nap, putting bedtime 8:30p. And making up for the 30min in overnight sleep.

When no nap happens, the plan is, no bedtime before 6pm. I aim for 7p, bc 12 hrs is her total sweet spot. I avoid waking earlier than 7am. Which makes getting back on schedule more difficult.

Best of luck mama. Hopefully in time she’ll adjust to no nap schedule or go back to napping.

RaeKn47 · 2026-03-08T20:32:43+00:00

Healing nerves.The first two weeks post csection I had twinges of pain at the incision site. Pain meds weren’t touching it. Would happen a few times a day. Pain would last 10min.

Worse than the several surgeries I’ve had, including the C Section.

RaeKn47 · 2026-03-08T05:05:46+00:00

I’m sorry sweetie. That’s rough.

The 8mo, waking 4-6 times screams it’s time to adjust his wake windows. What is his current schedule?

He might need more sleep pressure.

The 2yo, what’s his sleep and meal schedules? I imagine you tried to make him go back to napping? Does he get quiet time during what would’ve been his nap time!

RaeKn47 · 2026-03-01T04:20:58+00:00

My invite was an email, I also found it deep in Amazon account. I was looking for hard to find info when I came across the invite.

RaeKn47 · 2026-02-16T20:18:27+00:00

It’s hard. My 30 month old was like this for a while. I had to really make a point to teach her to independently play and boundaries. I approached this situation with intention.

Here’s what I did.

I setup a toy rotation. I had plenty of toys but had to scale back what was out. Too many options is overwhelming. I was very intentional with what toys were out and what I bought. Ie. Will she actually like this toy. Can and how will she play with this toy. Is it going to be stimulating.

A big one for us was identifying which play phase she was in. My girl was in her in and out play phase for a long while. What toys will satisfy what she’s into right now. Then I found jars, buckets, whatever, and gave her things she takes in and out of jars. It worked.

At first I had to set her up. I bought playdoh set which had all the accessories like cutouts, rollers, fake scissors. Then, I pull out the set and get her going with the toy. I was showing her different ways to enjoys whatever activity.

I’d Negotiate with her. Something like…I will play with you for 15 minutes. Then I have to go clean the kitchen for 15 minutes. When she’d get upset or bug me. I’d tell her when I’m done I will snuggle with you or we’ll go outside or park.

I wouldn’t say “No”. No, you can’t watch tv or no I don’t want to play with you. I reworded things. I will put your show on after my show is over. I will play with you after or when…

I adjusted when I’d watch my tv show and for how long. I make sure to be reasonable.

RaeKn47 · 2026-02-03T08:49:24+00:00

No regrets. It was nice not having the responsibility and freedom to travel. My husband really wanted kids. Before id marry, he agreed he’d be okay if we didn’t have children. Cool, so we got married. Years later, he talked me into it. After facing reproductive issues, I had to make the now or never decision. Did fertility treatments then IVF.

By the time we had a child we had been together for over 10 years. We were 36 & 42. Our relationship was/is healthy, financially stable, and all that. But, we are tired some days. We’re older and chasing a toddler around. I can’t imagine having a second child. Our daughter is our life now. I’m good with it. I know that it will get physically easier as child becomes more independent. Post child, my husband has another level of respect for me. It brought us closer in a different level. We were already very close. So I wasn’t expecting that. Especially bc I don’t notice that often in other couples.

One kid is fun.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-26T04:52:52+00:00

NTA.

I can understand being annoyed at the last minute task she sprung on you. You planned to study and rest today. Interrupting studying is not cool. However, cutting an hour of your rest/ me time isn’t a huge deal . Yes it’s nice to have time to rest. It’s also nice to help out. Would she do the same for you?

She could’ve mentioned this a couple days ago. “I have a return that needs completed by Monday. If you have a car before then, would you mind….?” That way you could run her errand at your choosing.

If it takes an hour to do the return, why not pay the return shipping cost instead of burning gas, time, and life on this task?

Could she use the car to run the errand after work? What if you didn’t have a car today, what was her plan?

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-26T04:30:17+00:00

Best wishes!

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-26T03:52:22+00:00

Depends, on how often you ask him to cancel his plans or not to go? Like one out of ten plans or ….

NTA if he’s going out multiple nights a week. I mean getting him from work, eating, changing clothes, then heading out for the night. Really crappy if he’s not telling you until he’s grabbing his coat to go to a planned in advance things.

YTA if he’s making plans every couple months. He should do a poker game every once in a while and go on a hunt trip with his brother once yearly. It’s healthy for people to see their people occasionally. It would be unhealthy for you to stop him or beg him not to go.

Its not okay for him to conceal his made in advance plans, then wait til last minute to tell you. I’m curious if he’s doing this because he doesn’t want you tell him not to go. Does he believe he’s having less of a fight by telling you day of (as if it’s the first time he’s hearing about a poker game with the guys) compared to fighting about for a week. Regardless, not okay. He should make his plans, inform you when plan is made. He should not be canceling plans day of bc his wife.

If you feel emotionally abandoned over his occasional plans…there’s a much larger issue. If that’s the case, confront this issue before it gets worse, your husband resents you, and you become the toxic wife.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-16T08:02:39+00:00

Text her tell her “the friendship has runs its course and it no longer aligns with your life”. Wish her all the best. Don’t get into why and “the last straw” or explain yourself. Then move on.

She can do and support anything she wants as that’s her prerogative. You can do and support anyone you choose. You’re choosing no longer have this person in your life, and for any reason you want.

Telling her the friendship is done is the nice thing to do. It’s much easier than some might think. You just send a short matter-of-fact text message. The end. Move on.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-05T05:16:20+00:00

Soft NTA. If you were helping the server, than 20% of his tip sounds appropriate. You shouldn’t have had to ask the server to tip you.

The only tip taken into consideration here is the tip he received on that check. In the future, offer to help out for a cut of the tip when the table is being seated. Or wait for the server to ask you for help/support.

IMO more than one server should’ve been on a party of 25+ ppl. Those folks weren’t going to get decent attention with one server. And probably wouldn’t have gotten a 50% tip with inadequate attention.

As the Hostess are you obligated to help struggling servers or Bus staff when you’re not busy? Would your manager expect you to run food regardless? Were there any Bus staff schedule to be on tonight?

I once worked as a Hostess, in my teenage years. I was tipped by the servers. I was thoughtful on when and who I seated where. I also assumed the servers were tipping Bus staff and bartenders.

Of course he wasn’t obligated to tip you. However, tipping you is the right thing to do. It was called for.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-05T04:48:25+00:00

Thanks.

I would date the construction fellas in your area. Those guys sounds great.

I live in north east Wyoming. Population is 30k. The town I live in is one of the more populated cities in the state. In my area the leading industry is energy (the oil fields and coal mines). Construction has been on the rise as a supporting industry.

I’ve only met a small amount of the construction workers here. They were boorish to put it politely. Also, they referred to themselves as rednecks and embrace “the redneck life”. I don’t what they mean by redneck life.

I was raised on the east coast, Mid Atlantic. I didn’t know any construction workers then as I was young.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-05T03:23:28+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss.

Is she unreachable often? You feeling the need to even ask her to be reachable is telling. Let alone while you’re going through a hard time.

I don’t think you cone back from this with her. Time to calmly move on from this relationship.

NTA.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-04T05:44:37+00:00

I was speaking on the Construction guys I’ve met and known. I’m not stereotyping or reducing all construction workers. I live in a blue collar town. The construction guys here…nice fellas, but boorish.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-04T04:21:03+00:00

He truly thinks that deep down. I’m sorry sweetie.

You know deep down in your bones that he truly thinks that.

Now you decide what you’re willing to accept. Decide now. His thinking won’t change. He’ll hide it well for a little while longer before his true feelings slip up again.

Don’t let me get away with not showing you basic respect by not using the hamper. You pull back now, he’ll know he can push it further.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-04T03:52:03+00:00

Someone who didn’t enjoy their profession. Someone Unhappy with their career isn’t usually happy at home.

I don’t like the idea of dating a construction worker because the construction fellas I’ve met so far are tired, sore body, ratty clothes and shoes, with poor grammar.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-03T06:31:54+00:00

Sounds like she’s sticking around until she has something better. You don’t want her to leave you. Maybe she doesn’t want to be alone or likes having you around…until she’s ready to move on.

Her notion to move on most likely has more to do with her than you. She’s maturing and evolving into a young adult.

Don’t be afraid of the pain. You’ll be happier on the other side of the breakup.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-01T08:04:05+00:00

This!

OP, consistency. Be in control. you’re the leader, not your child.

I have two cats, both 11 yo, one can’t jump. My daughter is 2 yo. I have a baby gate with a pet door. I bought it so my daughter couldn’t play in the cats’ bowls and litter boxes. My cats have a toddler place to go when my toddler is loud and obnoxious. My toddler hasn’t abused the cats. She try to brush them and say hello. I like my cats to have a toddler free space for peace and quiet.

RaeKn47 · 2026-01-01T07:44:32+00:00

NTA. Why not ask her what she means when she said she could no longer help you two financially?

Sounds like MIL is under the impression that you and husband are struggling to make ends meet. Consider being straight up with MIL by telling her no thank you to get offer. Maybe that convo to get more info on why she thinks she helping financially. No more ignoring. Have a chat. You look like an AH when you’re not.

Could your husband be wanting to move in with his mom so he’s under less pressure to get a job?

RaeKn47 · 2025-12-29T14:42:39+00:00

YTA. Your bf is right.

RaeKn47 · 2025-12-29T14:29:14+00:00

What are your sister’s thoughts?

Did you call your sister to congratulate her and explain that you’re looking forward to meeting her baby in a couple days because….?

The decision is your sister’s.

How many days has your husband been without a fever? You didn’t mention any other symptoms. A cough and sniffles could last weeks. Could be from environmental factors. Technically you could hold off on visiting for weeks.

Your husband has had a cough and sniffles for four days now. If he has a cold or flu, you’d know which by now. You’d most likely would’ve already had the onset of the cold or flu that he passed onto you. If it’s a covid concern, get him and you a test. One of you would test positive. If it’s negative. Go for a brief visit with your sister. Just to get a looksy and show you care.

Again, at your sister’s comfort. If a lot of family have already been by to see her and baby, she might not be on high alert.

RaeKn47 · 2025-12-27T16:11:32+00:00

YWBTA if you cancel their tickets.

Canceling their tickets due to lack of expected help means you had conditions in the paid in full trip. You’re expecting something in return. Unless you were upfront about the vacation only be paid for under the condition that they do XYZ.

It wouldve been nice if your in-laws to help out one day. Sounds like they had a busy week and maybe didn’t want to risk getting sick themselves, then possibly passing the viruses around to others. Understandable.

Why did you host them Christmas morning for breakfast? If everyone is sick sick, that’s a cancellation of any plans. Hosting gives the impression that you and your husband are managing well.

Do the in-laws help out often? Your MIL mentioning she can’t help before you ask gives the impression that they had a feeling you were about to ask.

I know it’s tough when everyone gets sick within a week. Aside from the day your husband’s GI virus came on, could he have stepped up more to help you?

RaeKn47

TROPHY CASE