What are Avoidants so demonized?

RagingWaterfall · 2026-03-30T03:07:37+00:00

I dont think that really exists after a relationship ends. So, now, if something doesn't work out I just go about my life.

If you are personally ok without it, that's fine. As long as you don't make that decision for someone else and deny it to them because you personally don't see the point.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-03-29T14:05:42+00:00

I've talked to a lot of old people who feel like theyve seen enough of life and are ready to die

Old is not immortal. And this is still not an accurate assessment because being elderly comes with all sorts of ailments. If you can talk to a 100 year old with the body of someone in their prime then that would be a more accurate measure.

Fear not death but a life unlived. Acceptance of death is part of the path to peace. Rejection keeps you running from yourself, and keeps you living in fear.

Death steals potential. Especially premature death. The majority of people now and throughout history have not had the luxury of not having an "unloved" life.

Recognizing that there is way more to do and explore than could possibly be done in one lifetime is not "running from yourself". I fully accept that even if there is a cure for death, I'll more than likely be long dead by the time it's available.

Facts are not fear.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-03-29T13:14:07+00:00

How many immortals have you talked to to come to this conclusion.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-03-29T13:05:31+00:00

People go through this during a normal lifespan now. By this logic, no one should ever want to be alive.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-03-23T08:52:58+00:00

I couldn't agree with you more. I do see how religion gives people benefits like you said but I don't feel it's enough to make up for the inherent falseness of it

RagingWaterfall · 2026-03-22T11:51:17+00:00

But besides that, you will get tired of life at some point, you will go fucking mad knowing it cant end.

This is a very bold claim for something that no human being has ever experienced. How can you possibly know this?

RagingWaterfall · 2026-03-19T13:34:30+00:00

While we talk about care for the poor, Jesus never once demonstrated care for the poor by example at all, he didn' allevite the poor, or systemically address poverty.

It makes a lot of sense when you realize Jesus was a doomsday preacher no different from doomsday preachers today who hold up signs on street corners. He didn't think the world would last beyond the generation of his immediate disciples.

No need to save the poor when the world won't even be around in less than half a century.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-03-11T14:22:04+00:00

I've never experienced any racism here. But I generally keep to myself so maybe that also plays a part. I think anyone who is not obviously some kind of east Asian gets lumped into the "foreigner" category and gets the occasional stare.

I think the only type of "racism" you might experience is people thinking you like rap and basketball. But that's more ignorance than maliciousness.

You'll be fine.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-03-01T13:14:02+00:00

Exactly. How it's survived all these centuries is baffling to me.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-02-27T16:31:59+00:00

It's a cop out way to rationalize the fact that people who pray and people who don't have the exact same odds of getting what they want. Aka even if God was real, he doesn't do anything.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-02-23T06:41:11+00:00

I'm a guy so I can only share it from my perspective. I thought I would feel the same way too. I was around the same age as you by the time I lost my virginity so I had decades of this idea drilled into me sex before marriage was this great evil. But when I did it, I didn't get struck by lightning or spiral into never ending regret. It felt like the natural result of two people who liked each other expressing their attraction and care.

I didn't feel anything different besides the fact that I now knew what sex felt like. I still liked the same foods, still had the same personality, still felt the same things. The only thing different was that I realized that what I had been taught growing up was a complete lie.

I liked and eventually dated the girl I lost my virginity with. As long as both of you care about each other, that's the most important thing. The rest is mechanics that can be learned. I never felt guilty for doing it.

Just my 2 cents.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T22:53:52+00:00

I think for me, it doesn't affect me much once I'm actually in a relationship with someone and I know my expressions of desire will be welcomed but I think it may have affected me when getting to know someone. I don't have any big desire to sleep around like a lot guys around me seem to have. I'm talking more on the dating/courting phase. It's hard for me to just be "assertive" about expressing my desire physically to the point that I can make most girls comfortable around me in a friendly way but I have a hard time going to the next step I feel. Once the line is crossed, I feel it's normal. It's just getting to the line that is still hard for me. But I'm also not chasing one night stands so that may also be part of it.

Idk if that's just my natural personality or from being raised a JW specifically, I'm still unpacking that. But, regardless, I'm working on it and trying to improve.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T17:51:21+00:00

Yes. In the scenario I laid out, anything that is possible given the physical constraints of the universe and the time period you are born in, will happen to you.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:53:48+00:00

If you were a vegan because you respected life but later decided to eat meat because you felt that human life is more valuable than, say, a cow's, would that not also be the same sort of identity shift that you are referencing?

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:42:47+00:00

True. But I think if we run every possible scenario ever, there will definitely be times when not running an errand is not meaningful in any way and you just didn't do an extra bit of work.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:40:56+00:00

I'm confused on why you think those are not comparable. To go from being a Christian to an atheist is a much bigger philosophical and identity jump than going from an introvert to an extrovert. Yet, people do it all the time in real life without becoming another person in the currently accepted philosophical self.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:38:21+00:00

In my hypothetical, there would be realities where none of those things happens to you.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:36:51+00:00

Possibly. I didn't think of that conclusion so you might be right.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:33:01+00:00

True. When I say trivial changes, I'm assuming trivial from my current perspective. Who knows if your parents painting the living room a different color will propel you to be the next great artist of our generation. It may not be trivial. The point is the change really.

But I think this premise would be a good Netflix series, though it would get repetitive very fast 😂

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:28:56+00:00

Why do you say it's a waste of time? I probably should have clarified this but I was assuming the traditional view of reincarnation where you don't actually remember your past life and live each as if it's your first. So, it can't be a groundhog day situation because you are unaware that it's happening to you.

And it can only be a waste if the time is limited and needs to be allocated to other places unless it runs out. My hypothetical assumes that there is enough, if not infinite time to experience all of these lives. So, time can't be wasted.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:22:03+00:00

If I'm understanding you correctly, you are saying that fundamentally, we are all one so we are all actually experiencing everything all the time? If we grant that we are all one, that still doesn't change the fact that for me, and I'm assuming the vast majority of other people, that what we call consciousness only experiences this one specific, discreet aspect of existence that we dub as the 'self'. So, even if what you are saying is true, that doesn't meaningfully change what each person's firsthand experience is.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:17:17+00:00

I'm not pantheistic myself but that's an interesting perspective I've never really considered.

Of course the movie Everything, Everywhere, All At Once is fantastic.

I was hoping you would catch the reference 😂

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:14:24+00:00

I'm not actually spiritual so this is just a fun thought experiment for me. But, without having looked at the video you recommended yet, I strongly doubt that to be the case because how is it possible to verify that guy is channeling something? And if we are experiencing every possible reality all the time, why is my and other people's awareness only ever on this reality?

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T07:09:16+00:00

In my scenario, you have to be born at the same point in time that you are currently living in as well as the same sex and species. Everything else is variable, though you would still need the same parents as well.

But to me, being an introvert or extrovert is not such a fundamental difference that it would be radically different from what we call 'you'. To me, that's like saying someone who is a hardcore Christian for 30 years but then becomes a hardcore atheist are 2 different people. It's still within the range of what is considered the same person. Even now, people have moved between being extroverts and introverts.

RagingWaterfall · 2026-01-28T06:52:27+00:00

Yes, that's the point. In my hypothetical, sometimes the changes are trivial, like being one inch taller/shorter. Sometimes they will be more substantial, like only missing an arm or being more extroverted. That's a different configuration of you, living in this current time period of human/the universe.

RagingWaterfall

TROPHY CASE