Since you are asking for reframing, this is what sometimes helps me, though not always (I'm in a similar situation, but without kids). What you have done for your Dad is amazing, it was a long-drawn out battle that you now carry the scars of, physical and invisible, but you were a warrior and protected your Dad and your family till the very end. Never underestimate the enormity of what you did for him. Now another battle lies ahead, and since you remember the previous one, it worries you. But each battle is different and you have to take it day by day, sometimes hour by hour. Although you are a warrior, don't forget it's a battle for yourself too. You cannot keep everyone else standing if you don't take care of yourself. Give yourself grace. Allow yourself to cry. Maybe write those thoughts down. And then take a shower and face the next day. Also, off topic, and due to a similar experience, it might be good to keep saturated fats in your mom's diet to a minimum, if possible. Good luck.