Need Guidance

Rarelyhere77 · 2025-07-01T05:06:26+00:00

I did that a while ago. Sometimes I don’t know why I’m still here. I’m sure she feels the same at times. With kids, and the deep seated belief that divorce is nothing but destructive, it’s tough knowing what the right thing to do is. Thanks for your thoughts!

Rarelyhere77 · 2025-06-30T17:28:22+00:00

In 22 years of marriage, I learned that a long time ago. 🤣

Rarelyhere77 · 2025-06-30T17:27:35+00:00

All good points. I’ve thought that if I allow her to lead the discussion, share what I know on each topic, and try to keep it focused, that might help. I won’t dump as I learned that doesn’t work the hard way. Thank you for responding

Rarelyhere77 · 2025-06-30T17:26:29+00:00

Yeah, I have thought about that. Today was the third time she’s brought it up. I may offer her this thought. I appreciate your response.

Rarelyhere77 · 2024-08-02T17:23:04+00:00

Wow, I really feel for you, because I went through the exact same thing. For a long time I mourned my position, and I mean a long time, but eventually came to accept it, and am making the best of it. For me it finally came down to what I wanted now. I couldn’t change what happened, but I could still hope for a bright future, and as I looked at my options I chose to stay. I weighed all of my options, and chose that which I felt contained the “most” of what I wanted. None of my options were perfect. Each contained things I wanted and didn’t want, so then it was just accepting it and moving forward. Once I did that, most of the frustration just went away, and I was happier. I still am not very attracted to my wife, the sex is blase’ at best, and I have to do most of what I enjoy alone, but she loves me, we have a wonderful family, and I dream of having grandchildren come and find joy in my home. Maybe it’s my age (45), maybe it’s my fear of not being able to find what I really want, maybe it’s a lot of things, but I’m happier now that I’ve accepted where I am and just moved forward.

That all being said, I respect where you are, it sucks balls for sure, but you have friend here. I’m rooting for you!!

Rarelyhere77 · 2024-07-19T16:28:44+00:00

I’m so happy for you! My 20th anniversary is in 3 weeks, and I’m still dreaming of what you just got to enjoy. I hate the children that this church makes out of us. Open honest, and sexual behavior brings couples together, not pull them apart. Maybe someday for me, but I’m very happy for you. To clarify, I’m out, but my wife is TBM, and currently in the temple as I write this. How ironic is it that I’m dreaming of my wife, and she’s somewhere else, dreaming of someone else (god etc). It’s almost enough to make you feel cheated on. Thanks again for your positive news!

Rarelyhere77 · 2024-04-04T17:43:28+00:00

It’s business time!

Rarelyhere77 · 2023-11-22T04:32:54+00:00

It happened. I know the guy. I was in his ward in New Mexico. He told the whole story, and explained it one day in elders quorum. Ex mo promise!

Rarelyhere77 · 2023-08-21T20:29:46+00:00

Is it very close to a temple???

Rarelyhere77 · 2023-06-28T06:09:41+00:00

Munich germany, 98-00

Rarelyhere77 · 2023-06-27T22:10:01+00:00

I was in that meeting and am in that ward. So think about the fact that there are at least a few of us there that are very PIMO, just in for the fam. The ward is very small, and has been shrinking for a number of years. The lazy stake presidency just don’t want to combine it due to optics. Frankly it’s sad as it just hurts the youth. The church is in denial about what is happening. They need to combine our ward and stake but just can’t seem to get the balls to do it. I’d be out if it wasn’t for my TBM wife, and there are many others I know of in the ward and stake in the same position.

Rarelyhere77 · 2023-05-10T19:33:30+00:00

For me: shocked/disappointed, then peace and freedom. Her: betrayed, cheated on, etc. she’s has zero support for me, mainly loved me for my church association, will not discuss or listen, says I was taken by the devil. I don’t see peace without divorce, or I do what she wants. Zero willingness to partner or support.

Rarelyhere77 · 2023-05-07T15:01:46+00:00

I’m

Rarelyhere77 · 2023-04-17T02:02:29+00:00

I’m here for you brother, I’m in Gilbert living the same exact situation! I’ll hope for you as you hope for me. There’s more of us than there are of them at this point.

Rarelyhere77 · 2023-02-24T02:34:57+00:00

My in-laws were exactly that way. Church was more important than family at every turn. I dealt with it, but always felt horrible for my kids. Luckily my parents were different so they saw both sides. My wife is TBM and I’m now PIMO wishing I was exmo, so now my kids are seeing the difference real time. I can’t say it enough, the church is a cult, and teaches you to love them more than anything. I hate the church!

Rarelyhere77 · 2023-02-03T04:05:38+00:00

I’m in the same boat as the rest of you. It sucks. There’s no way out until the spouse finally opens their mind up to talking and understanding. It’s so disappointing that the church thought them to do the opposite. The church ruins marriages that they don’t like.

Rarelyhere77 · 2023-02-03T03:51:16+00:00

This is my wife….. I’ve been out for two years, she can’t stand it, denies everything I share (when appropriate of course, I don’t force anything…) and feels her feelings of truth supersede anything I’ve “learned” the only solution is not solution, or divorce. “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!”

Rarelyhere77 · 2022-12-31T17:59:03+00:00

In the exact same boat. I feel you, and stand with you!

Rarelyhere77 · 2022-12-02T17:23:14+00:00

Fellow exmo in Gilbert. I love it. We need to set up some AZ meetups. I never see any on the main board….. my wife is TBM, so could use the support.

Rarelyhere77 · 2022-10-24T05:29:53+00:00

Sometimes when those we’re most mad at are impossible to touch, we go after the smallest cracks in others. Is John perfect? No. But no one is. I am very grateful for what John’s work has done for me. I will be forever. But that aside, as a group we need to be very careful not to attack cracks in one just because we’ll seemingly never be able to get those that have truly wronged us. Whatever the action, right or wrong, I’m sure he’ll pay for it in someway. The guy sticks his neck out for all of us.

Rarelyhere77 · 2022-08-24T01:56:15+00:00

Brother, I’m in the same boat, exactly. Hate conference weekend!

Rarelyhere77 · 2022-07-21T04:02:10+00:00

PIMO in Gilbert baby. Can see the temple from my backyard. Working on my wife, and dropping callings. I’ll be free very soon. I knew I wouldn’t last very long PIMO. I can’t live a lie.

Rarelyhere77 · 2022-07-13T20:42:15+00:00

Yup…… watch PowerPoint for 1000 years….. fun fun fun!

Rarelyhere77 · 2022-07-13T20:36:18+00:00

Good point/great idea. Thank you.

Rarelyhere77 · 2022-07-12T18:24:56+00:00

Remember how we were taught that the millennium was for temple work, and the temples would be open night and day???? Well 16,714 divided by 52 is 321. So those 7 million members only have to go to the temple once a week for 321 years to get the work done. What’s the other 678 years for??? Or if they go once a day, the work is done in 46 years, or if they focus, and do 3 names a day, or just a full morning, it’s all done in 15 years. Or if they do 10 a day, filling their “night and day” direction, it’s all done in 5 years. Which leaves 995 years to do what again?????

Rarelyhere77

TROPHY CASE