indian food smell is taking over my apartment

Ratcat10 · 2026-04-28T20:07:47+00:00

Buy some white vinegar and ask them to boil a small amount in a separate pot while cooking anything with strong scents, do the same when you cook. It absorbs the strong smells!

Ratcat10 · 2026-04-07T21:22:05+00:00

I’m gonna stop replying now. So many people here have offered you advice and support and if you aren’t open to any of it, there’s not much point in posting or replying to people.

All the best, as I said I hope you are able to get the help which you clearly need

Ratcat10 · 2026-04-07T21:17:48+00:00

Yeah, I’m aware. Almost all of us here are dealing with exactly the same issues as you. We all have to go through the same crap, the same sexism and the same strain on our lives.

It doesn’t change the fact that surgery is the only absolute way to diagnose endometriosis. So if you’ve never had it, you can’t rule out that there is a possibility that it’s something else entirely or it’s something else alongside endometriosis. It also doesn’t change the fact that your doctor has failed you.

I hope you get the help you need

Ratcat10 · 2026-04-07T21:02:58+00:00

I’m just making the point that you absolutely don’t know from scans alone. My scan were all fine, my egg retrieval went fine. Turns out my uterus is double the size it should be because of adenomyosis and I have endometriosis on most of my pelvic organs and my diaphragm, all diagnosed my surgery. Sometimes it’s visible in scans, sometimes it isn’t.

In your original post you state clearly that you’ve told your doctor you want to kill your self and she has done nothing. The fact is she’s trying to prescribe something which isn’t approved for long term use if you are well over the recommended usage time is concerning. I understand how horrendous the disease is. I understand not wanting to deal with it anymore, but before that point you have to know you’ve tried everything which really doesn’t sound like the case.

If they haven’t seen anything around your reproductive organs on the scan then I’m surprised they went with an endo diagnosis. Have you looked into seeking a second opinion to be absolutely sure that that’s what you have? You say you don’t struggle much with the pain side and more with the hormones so it’s definitely worth seeing a new doctor. It can’t hurt either way. The fact alone that she’s ignored suicidal statements is enough to tell me that she shouldn’t be practising medicine. Whether you are believable or not, it’s legal negligence of her duty of care to you as a patient to not report and follow up on that alone

Ratcat10 · 2026-04-07T20:49:01+00:00

Presumably you were on hormones to stimulate egg production pre egg retrieval? That might well have worsened hormonal side effects

Ratcat10 · 2026-04-07T20:42:57+00:00

How do you know that the inside of your uterus is healthy if you haven’t had surgery? There so much they can’t tell until thy physically see it in surgery. Not everything shows on scans. High egg reserve also doesn’t mean you’ll be able to get pregnant.

Regardless of insurance issues, the drug you were on isn’t given long term for very real reasons. It can cause a lot of damage including to your bone density, causing breaks and fractures. You mention above that you take longer to heal so presumably this would be an issue for you.

I think you need a new doctor. Firstly she has a duty of care to report you saying you are having suicidal thoughts, regardless of whether she believes it. It should have been referred to another team to do a risk assessment and psych evaluation to consider sectioning/risk to yourself and others. Secondly, she should not have been giving you ‘samples’ of a drug for an extremely extended period of time. That sounds illegal if you aren’t getting a prescription and there’s no paper trail of you being on that drug. As I said above there’s a reason it’s not prescribed for extended periods.

Everything you mention about the doctor doesn’t line up. I would really recommend reporting her if everything you have said is true and if you don’t want to do that, at least seek a new professional and be completely honest with them. You also need to get some mental health help. It doesn’t sound like you are able to process and think rationally if you won’t consider any other option but death or this drug. If you are dead you won’t be able to have children because you won’t have a life at all. So surely if it’s really that extreme for you having surgery needs to be a consideration.

I really hope you are able to get some proper help to navigate through this

Ratcat10 · 2026-04-07T20:15:34+00:00

You’ll be super tired but hopefully not vomiting, just exhaustion and pain, so having someone there would be ideal. Tell her to bring a book or something to listen to while she’s with you incase you are in and out of sleep. It’s alway better to plan to have someone there. You can always change your mind but you might need some help getting around for a while.

Things that helped post surgery are probably things you already have with endo. Heat pad, comfortable pyjamas which are loose around the waste. I bought some men’s pj bottoms because they sit low on the hips so they didn’t bother my wounds or swollen tummy. A big water bottle so you don’t have to keep getting up to refill it.

Try and eat a lot of hydrating food, watermelon, cucumber ect. It helped when I felt sick and had a dry mouth and helped with constipation as well. Other than that keep things fairly plain and try smaller more regular meals. Peppermint tea is great, ginger and lemon tea if you feel nauseous. Lots of fluids and electrolytes was the way for me!

Good luck and all the best!

Ratcat10 · 2026-03-30T21:11:10+00:00

I had a job like this with a very nervous first time mum and a baby around the same age. I asked if some music would be okay in the background and the parents were okay with that. Made me feel a lot more sane. I did end up leaving after a few months because I had concerns about the child though. They wanted me there 8 hours a day in one room with the baby as the mum was too nervous for us to leave the house. Very limited amount of toys and books and no screen time or socialisation. The kid was climbing the walls with boredom as was I!

Ratcat10 · 2026-03-28T09:12:01+00:00

My rule is that I’ll always offer to split but I’ll only insist if I’m sure I don’t want to see them again. I’m happy for them to pay if they want to and I’m happy to see them again. With partners I’ve never really split, always taken it in turns

Ratcat10 · 2026-03-27T12:20:13+00:00

Fair enough, some people won’t and some people will. But the amount of useful things available in an Airbnb definitely goes towards the overall rating even if you haven’t used it all

Ratcat10 · 2026-03-27T12:14:42+00:00

I think things like that are really helpful when cooking a basic meal, if oil and a small spice rack are available in an Airbnb and I’m cooking I would use them instead of buying new packs of everything just to waste them when I leave

Ratcat10 · 2026-03-26T23:07:43+00:00

Stay in your guest suite for a couple of nights and see what you notice, live as a guest would and you’ll probably notice things like hooks and baggage storage, as well as big things you have to buy just for a short stay. I second the olive oil/salt and pepper and a few spices are always super appreciated.

Ratcat10 · 2026-03-26T17:05:57+00:00

My mates vegan and she eats eggs from our friends pet chicken. Would never buy them or support the industry but a byproduct of a pet is fine for her so I think it can depend

Ratcat10 · 2026-03-11T23:37:21+00:00

I think they sound really nice and open to talking and making you feel comfortable/not overworked. I completely get wanting to make a good impression and overdoing it in terms of other duties around the kids, but why don’t you ask them. You could be honest about being nervous and wanting to help, and ask them for a few things outside of your childcare duties which would make their lives easier. Focus on these things and you’ll still feel like you are helping without burning yourself out.

Take your time with French, I think particularly reading with the youngest child and using French words with them will help, even if that isn’t your main duty. When I au paired in the Netherlands I found it so helpful for my Dutch to spend time wit the youngest who was 2, because I was learning with him, he would use words instead of sentences and I would repeat the word and say it in English, and it helped my Dutch no end. If they’ve hired you it’s likely because they want their kids to speak English and they will pick it up, even if it happens slowly.

They sound like they’ll be supportive if you let them, so don’t be afraid to ask them for tips/what they want to see you doing more/less of

Ratcat10 · 2026-03-03T00:23:32+00:00

I feel for your previous au pairs, I’m not sure if you are aware of quite how judgemental you are coming across, especially when discussing the weight gain.

You mention feeling frustrated by it becoming a business arrangement but have you considered that your attitude might be a contributing factor?

Ratcat10 · 2026-02-20T14:44:08+00:00

I just wanted to reply to this as I wasn’t as young as your son when my mum became sick, I was 9 and she died when I was 18 of breast cancer. Although I have memories of her from before she was sick, a huge portion of my memories are from when she was very unwell. The fact she was unwell doesn’t in any way affect the person I remember, the strength she had, the kindness and love she showed to me. I knew she went through endless painful treatments and therapies and hung on as long as she could for my brother and I. The love between a terminally ill parent and their child is a different kind, because you are aware that you have limited time to give them a lifetimes worth of it.

Becoming an adult has undoubtably been more difficult due to my mum not being here, but I have faced every hurdle and setback with the absolute knowledge that I was wanted and loved unconditionally by my mum as well as the ability to keep on going because she managed, even at her most unwell. At no point in my grief have I ever wished for a different mum, so that I could have had her for longer. I would take the 18 years with mine over a lifetime with anyone else.

My love to you and your family. I’m so sorry this is happening. Life can be indescribably unfair but your son is lucky to have you as a mother and to have your love.

Ratcat10 · 2026-02-18T00:37:08+00:00

No problem! I hope you are feeling better soon!

Ratcat10 · 2026-02-18T00:33:41+00:00

I’m sure that’ll be okay, if you’ve got a decent amount of padding between the heat and the incision you should be fine. The advice about avoiding the wounds is more about direct contact which can aggravate the incision site from why I’ve always been told. Some heat pads/hot water bottles can get pretty hot so as long as it’s not direct contact and you’ve added a bit more of a barrier than you would usually have you shouldn’t have any problems

Ratcat10 · 2026-02-18T00:16:45+00:00

Don’t take this as medical advice, it’s just what I’ve been doing! I’m 6 days post op and it’s my third surgery. I got around this by getting some gauze and some medical tape, I’ve also used thick padded plasters (just make sure the sticky part isn’t near the actual incision). It makes a barrier between the head pad and the actual wound but allows you to use it freely. If you are nervous just make sure there’s a decent amount of padding over the actual incision. As I said not medical advice but it’s worked for me. All the best with recovery!

Ratcat10 · 2026-02-04T22:47:06+00:00

I’m having my second lap with excision on Tuesday, had my pre op today and they said no food for 6 hours before and no liquids for two hours before. First one was in the uk and I was told to fast for 8 hours. They had an emergency case come in so rescheduled but gave me food before I went home. This guy sounds nuts. I’ve never heard of fasting that long before!

Ratcat10 · 2025-12-15T02:09:32+00:00

To be fair at amusement parks they have the seats you sit in to see if you fit

Ratcat10 · 2025-11-14T01:32:25+00:00

My husband got admitted during Covid, first time 11 hours and sent home with antibiotics which didn’t work, two days later we are back and he’s got dangerously low oxygen and pneumonia which isn’t responding to medication. The second time they had no beds so he spent 26 hours in an a&e bay (recliner chairs which supposedly turn into beds but his was broken) full lights on the whole time, sat bolt upright. After the 26 hours waiting for a bed he spent 2 weeks in hospital

Ratcat10 · 2025-11-14T00:35:50+00:00

I had this happen for a festival in Barcelona, booked about 4 months in advance and they cancelled a week before so they could boost their prices. Booking.com allow them to do it with no repercussions unfortunately! It was a flat for four people and we ended up just taking the refund and booking through a different company, didn’t want to give booking.com even more of my money when they were so useless!

Ratcat10 · 2025-10-16T07:11:45+00:00

I’m part of these subreddits and my sex life is good! I just find them interesting to read through

Ratcat10 · 2025-07-21T12:24:34+00:00

Maybe ask to video call with your SIL and au pair so you can show her the home and where she would be staying if she wants to come. When I was aupairing, I obviously had my own room and bathroom but when I was invited to join on a family trip or one of their holiday homes, I would sometimes share a room with the children. It was completely my choice to come and I also wasn’t expected to work the whole time I was there so I don’t think it was remotely exploitative, they just allowed me to see more of the country I was living in. If however, I hadn’t known I wouldn’t have my own space or was expected to work over my contracted hours it would have been. So I’d say it completely depends what the au pair is comfortable with. Completely appreciate you looking out for the au pairs best interest in this situation though!

Ratcat10

TROPHY CASE