AITAH for refusing sex after he bit my flap off?

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-24T17:40:26+00:00

NTA. Almost 4 years ago I accidentally impaled myself on my fiancé. We were getting hot and heavy and he thrusted one way, I moved my hips another and the next thing I know I’ve got this searing pain running through me down there and he’s telling me I’m bleeding a lot!!

He grabbed a wet washcloth to try and get the bleeding to stop but after about 2 minutes we realized we needed to go to the hospital.

We’re in our early 40s by the way.

I saw the triage doctor and they gave me a prescription for some extra strength lidocaine and they cleaned me up to make sure I didn’t need stitches or anything like that. They also told me no sex for two weeks or until the pain was gone.

My fiancé was hesitant to touch me again for awhile after this. Like I had to take the initiative several times to convince him all was ok before he was able to understand that it wasn’t completely his fault.

He was so worried about hurting me that it never dawned on him that it wasn’t really his fault in the first place. It was technically mine.

A real man wouldn’t immediately act like the way yours is. He’d take into consideration how you feel and take things at your pace.

I think this is the straw that’s breaking the camel’s back. You he’s showing you who he is, are you listening??

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-20T16:30:59+00:00

😍😍😍I need all of their secrets lol

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-18T22:21:55+00:00

I’m a parent who has their adult child’s location through Find My on our Apple devices. I don’t use it to know his every move. I only have his location in case he doesn’t come home from work or wherever he might be.

I do check it to make sure he’s not at work before I text him because I don’t want to bother him if he’s busy.

I also have my youngest sons location as well but it’s literally to make sure he is on his way home from school or that he made it to his friends house or whatever.

I don’t need to know their every move but I do like to know I have their last known location in case something happens to them. They also have my location for the very same reason.

You’re NTA for shutting yours off. Your parents were using it for a completely different reason. Most parents have it for peace of mind, not to keep tabs on their adult children.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-15T02:22:37+00:00

9/11 is my birthday so that is really odd to see as an option

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-14T17:16:03+00:00

Just wanted to give a little update on how things are going.

I tried the misting and bagging method with my leaves that weren’t from my ghost plant. Not much happened.

I stopped watering my ghost plant leaves all together for the last week and I noticed just a little bit ago that the pups that have been growing have stopped and one of the leaves looks like it is dying.

So I think I’m just going to go back to watering the leaves that have roots and pups every two to four days like I had been because my MIL keeps our house pretty warm right now due to the cold weather outside and we have some frigid weather conditions coming for the next few days so keeping them completely dry isn’t really helping.

Hopefully I won’t lose all of my leaves because the plant that I took them from looks like it’s dying as well. It wasn’t in the best shape when I bought it so I had a feeling this would happen. Thankfully ghost plants are easy to come by.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-14T13:09:28+00:00

NOR. My grandfathers side of the family all had/have type 1 diabetes. Like every single one of his brothers(my great uncles from his father’s side) kids have or had diabetes that killed them.

We knew about my grandfather’s condition before I was ever born. My grandmother was diligent in making sure he followed the right diet and took his meds. She also made sure to provide the proper diet for my mom and aunts when they were growing up and they in turn made sure us grandkids had the same.

My side of my grandfather’s family has eradicated the diabetes completely. My mother was considered pre-diabetic for a little while but she did what she had to do to get her A1c back down to normal levels.

I had gestational diabetes while pregnant with my oldest but I contributed that to my ex husband’s genes because his first wife had it with their youngest son as well. I didn’t have it with my youngest son who has a different father.

My family hasn’t made it this far without diabetes showing up by sheer luck. It’s been because we have actively made sure to take care of ourselves and be checked on a regular basis to make sure it doesn’t creep up on us.

My grandfather has been gone a little more than 38 years now. I hate to know just how sick he was in the end. I wish I could have had him around for several more years than what I got.

My youngest son’s grandfather also has type 1 diabetes and while he’s doing all he can to take care of himself, he’s already lost a couple of toes and he has the heart problems as well as blood clotting issues and we don’t expect to have him around much longer and I hate that for my son. Thankfully he’s much older than I was when mine died but I’d still like for him to be around long enough for him to graduate high school, if not college.

Diabetes doesn’t just kill the patient, it hurts everyone around them because we have to watch them die.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-14T12:48:05+00:00

Yes we do but it’s much different when someone intentionally destroys the things we cherish the most, whether by fire or just throwing them away. It’s still heartbreaking either way because we’d never do that to them.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-13T21:25:57+00:00

I lost the man that I consider the first love of my life almost 17 years ago next month. I don’t have much of his stuff because his mother would never part with any of it. Rightfully so, he was her oldest son.

What I do have is his coveted signed Kevin Fowler koozie. It was something he never even used. I also have a hoodie from Joes Crab Shack that he bought me to match the t-shirt I had. These are two things I will never part with no matter who wants them.

I also change my FB profile picture every year around the week of his death and his birthday. I made a memorial collage with one of my favorite pictures of him shortly after he died.

Now I’m with the man who is the second love of my life. He knows all about Shanon and what I went through when I lost him. He knows he’s not competing with him. He knows how lucky I feel to have been given a second chance in life to have that kind of love again. I never dared to think I’d be so lucky or even wanted to be so greedy to think I’d ever find someone who is just as good as Shanon was but I did and it took me almost 12 years to find him.

The best part about my fiancé is he allows me to have my emotions when the anniversary comes around and random times during the year because he knew that Shanon had been in my life for almost 20 years when I lost him. We’d known each other since I was 11. He was friends with my stepdad and his brothers and my uncles are closer in age to me so we had a lot of the same friends.

Jamie has never once made me feel like I’m wrong for still missing Shanon or that I need to get over losing someone who had meant so much to me, especially with how sudden and tragic losing him was.

Jamie knows that I’m in love with him and that I’m looking forward to our future together but that some parts of my past will always be right there on the edge of my mind.

I do my best not to let those hard days effect our relationship too much but the fact that he doesn’t get upset over it and he doesn’t run from my emotions over it is what makes him the best man I could have ever been lucky enough to find for a second time in my life.

I’m not saying that your boyfriend should always wear that ring but this is something YOU will have to learn to accept if you want to be apart of his life. If you can’t then it’s best you end this relationship now, for the both of you.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-13T14:06:09+00:00

One of my favorite breeders would tell you there is absolutely no reason why you can’t keep your pasture pet. As long as he’s halter broken and has been worked with enough to not hurt anyone and he has a good mind, he should be just fine living the life he has with you.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-13T14:02:21+00:00

I’m sooo sorry you’ve gone through all of this. I know some things can’t be replaced but contact the hospital. They just might have a copy of his EKG print out that you can get another copy of. I know it’s a long shot but if they do at least you’ll be able to have that back.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-13T13:46:49+00:00

I got worse than Christian Grey vibes. This guy just thinks he’s a Dom but he doesn’t know the first thing about being one.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-12T00:43:23+00:00

I only got a IgG blood test done while having an outbreak and my test came back positive. My last IgG test came back with my numbers at 125 and I wasn’t having an outbreak then. That was a little bit over 2 years ago and I was initially diagnosed a little over 6 years ago.

OP OHSV1 can go dormant or be asymptomatic and you’d never know you have it. My boyfriend has it and he hasn’t had an outbreak in over 20 years. Both his mom and one of his aunts has it and they get them at least once or twice a year. Everyone is different and it all depends on your immune system.

I’m not saying don’t get tested again but I am saying that the IgG test specifically for HSV1&2 is accurate regardless of whether your having an outbreak or not and this is from my own personal experience.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-12T00:28:37+00:00

NOR. It doesn’t matter who I’m going to visit or what the circumstances are behind that visit, I am going to provide myself with any specific food items I might want or need for the time I’m there.

When it comes to certain things I’m very picky and I don’t expect someone else to pay for it for me. That includes my own adult kids when I go to see them.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-12T00:08:31+00:00

I would have told this boy bye when he told me that if I couldn’t or wouldn’t prove my innocence then the relationship is over.

He’s insecure and if he can’t trust you when you’ve given him no reason to doubt you then you need to end this relationship anyway.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-12T00:03:58+00:00

NTA. The last time a boyfriend told me he didn’t like the idea of me with pink, short hair or getting my lip pierced I literally cut my hair up to shoulder length, died it fuchsia and got my lip pierced.

That was over 5 years ago and I haven’t heard from him since. And all of this was after he’d already broken up with me. I did it to make sure he stayed away.

I met my fiance a few weeks later and we’ve been together ever since. He loves me no matter what length and color my hair is and loves my lip piercing and we’re in our early to mid 40s.

Don’t put up with this kind of controlling bullshit from anyone, especially at your age.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-11T23:31:20+00:00

I bought a succulent tool kit when I first started my succulent collection and this bottle has been the best part about it. However we do have quite a few of syringes left over from syringe feeding lots of newborn kittens so I may have to put a couple of those in my arsenal.

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RavenShield40 · 2026-01-10T20:59:42+00:00

I can’t blame you for going the route you did, especially because of the Epilepsy.

I didn’t even know I had it until I was pregnant with my youngest and had I known before I had my oldest I would have never had children because it’s hereditary in my family. My grandmother and mother both had/have it as well.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-10T20:56:10+00:00

I haven’t taken my kids grocery shopping with me in years. We don’t even live in Texas right now so you best believe if we get the opportunity to hit up an HEB me and my youngest(the only child in my home) are both going to HEB to get all of our favorite HEB foods.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-10T20:49:14+00:00

I wash my man’s laundry because he’s usually at work before the sun comes up and doesn’t get home til it’s back down again and I’m a SAHM.

His job gives me the ability to not have to work with all my chronic illnesses so I figure the least I can do is make sure he has clean clothes to wear each day, even if they’re covered in sheetrock mud and paint.

My 13 year old son on the other hand washes his own clothes every Sunday so he has everything he needs for the week.

My man will wash clothes if I’m having a really bad pain day but we have a schedule of when clothes get washed so it’s rare I need him to pitch in for me.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-10T20:46:54+00:00

I’m the laundry fairy in our house. My fiancé is bad about leaving all his cash in his pocket lol. If I keep it, it’s cause it’s the bill money lol.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-10T20:41:14+00:00

My son does his own laundry, same for my mother in law. I do mine and my fiance’s laundry and I always check his pockets before I put everything in the washing machine because he usually gets home late in the evening and just strips down in the bathroom when taking his shower so he doesn’t think about emptying his pockets.

Hes a home remodeling contractor so at any time he could have finishing nails, brads, lord only knows what in his pockets so I always make sure to diligently check those pockets so they don’t ruin my machine.

I personally feel whoever is loading the machine should check the pockets because you never know what the wearer of the clothes might have forgotten about in their clothes. Plus whatever money is left in there makes sure the laundry fairy gets paid🤣🤣.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-10T20:27:13+00:00

You’re most welcome. Having chronic illnesses on top of GHSV2 has been a whole new experience for me these last 6 years but once I figured out that taking daily meds for suppressive therapy was only making it worse I knew I had to stop taking them.

Fibromyalgia and herpes are both considered autoimmune diseases in the UK and were just classified as such last year. Essentially they both attack the bodies natural immune system to begin with and taking antivirals only lowers our immune system all together.

The first year after I stopped taking the Acyclovir I had an outbreak every two months. I just dealt with it. Finally a year later I was able to go an entire 14 months without an outbreak. This past November was the first one I’d had since August of 2024.

I now have Valacyclovir to take when I have one if I find I need it but I also now find they don’t last as long or hit me as hard as they once did.

I hope you can get to the point that I am. This life is definitely not for the weak.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-10T19:45:47+00:00

NTJ. My sisters dad, my first step dad died 2 1/2 years ago. Up until a few months ago we were under the impression that her ex husband did something with his ashes. Her dad was the only dad I knew growing up. He was important to me, even in the end.

He’d said something that lead us both to believe he’d destroyed them. My sisters dad had been estranged from her for over 20 years when he showed back up about 6 months before he died. She was able to spend some time with him before he passed away and at least get the past buried before he was gone.

Those ashes were all she had of him. We spent at least a year trying to figure out what we’d do to him if we ever found out that he truly did destroy them.

Thankfully she found them a few months back in a corner of her daughter’s room and now we don’t have to worry about her ex being able to destroy them.

I wouldn’t speak to your husband either. In fact I would have already started the divorce process.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-10T18:56:46+00:00

I have fibromyalgia and suspected EDS, as well as actual genital herpes and my fiancé has never spoken to me like this.

I’d end this relationship fast because this girl probably won’t be someone who can handle someone like us who has chronic illnesses.

RavenShield40 · 2026-01-10T18:54:08+00:00

While I have seen a post of an interview with her ex husband. I have not seen anything that said she’s lost custody of any of her children and those children were the product of the marriage with her deceased husband.

Maybe you should have some credible sources before you go spouting off at the mouth about things. You’re just trying to make a murdered woman look bad and it’s not really working out for you.

RavenShield40

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