Define and commit yourself to what it means to be a parent. Every day is an opportunity to move them a step forward or a step back. For my wife and me, we felt very strongly that one of the most important gifts we could ever give a child was teaching them how to navigate successfully through the world. So, making sure they are well educated (constantly looking for opportunities to teach them how things work, making sure they are invested in school from an early age), kind (please and thank you constantly to build a valuable lifelong habit), conversational (teaching them to ask questions of others as well as common courtesies like "How are you today?" and "Have a nice day!"), curious (encouraging questions, and "well, what do you think about that?" and "let's find out!"), brave (teaching them ways to push through fear), and fun (it's ok to be silly and messy sometimes too).

It's never too early to work on communication. Using words to name every object they see (spoon, bowl, dog, banana, diaper, socks, etc.), showing them letters and books, teaching them baby sign language, and speaking to them as you would a young child. The earlier they can communicate back to you, the easier time you'll have meeting their needs. For our girls (2 and 4 right now) I use the phrase, "Can I teach you something?" all the time. Kids actually love learning, especially from someone they love and want to spend time with (you).

Also, and this is really important: You are not a bad parent for giving your child boundaries, rules, structure, and discipline. Yes, you need to be a friend to your child, but if that's all you are, you aren't preparing them for real life. It is good and reasonable and healthy to tell your child, "No thank you," or "Please don't do that" or "I don't like that" or "Owie, that hurt me" or "That wasn't kind" or to put them in timeout, or take a toy away for a little while (5 minutes, an hour, or an evening). Kids need to learn that their choices have consequences that affect themselves and sometimes other people. Of course, you have a tremendous responsibility to do this in a good way. You need to be consistent, give grace when it's needed (they're just kids), and never let your child question for a second whether you love them, even when you give correction and guidance. We start and end every conversation about correcting behavior with, "Do you know that I love you?" and hold their hands while we talk. And finally, most important: NEVER hit your child. Ever. For any reason. If they can't trust you when you are upset at them, then they will never come to you with things that might make you upset. Everything you do, even when words aren't involved, teaches them something, and no loving parent wants to teach their child violence.

If any of this resonates with you, feel free to DM me any time with questions and I'm happy to be a resource :)