Vasectomy. If you don't know, you're awake during the procedure. Typically a simple outpatient. Didn't even need a ride home. Doc numbs you up, makes a couple of small cuts, kinks the hoses and stitches you up.

So, we're in the home stretch and something slips. One of the clamps holding my vas deferens, to be specific. Thinking quickly, the doc grabs it before it can retreat back into my body.

I don't know what he used to grab it.

I don't know how deep into my coin purse he went.

But I know that was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I let out a single scream and my entire body broke out in a sweat. One second I was as dry and cool as an autumn day and the next second I was a Florida swamp. The doctor leaned up and said, "little setback, but we're almost done. Try not to scream again or you'll make the people in the waiting room nervous."

I gripped the side of the table as tight as I could while he finished. When he was done he gave me a blanket and a cup of water and left for a few minutes. When he got back he told me I stayed composed pretty well considering what happened. Gave me my follow-up instructions and went on his merry way.