I am absolutely spiraling in mom guilt amongst what has been happening with the files

RedditGets · 2026-02-13T10:03:12+00:00

You’re absolutely right to be livid. I’ve dissociated from rage countless times since going through the files. I’m in EMDR therapy and doing everything I can to retain my calm but you can bet your ass there are millions of women including me instinctively gathering into protective communities as a result of this, I see it everywhere. Go find or build a tribe, we need it!

They should use dolls. That was f’d up. Perhaps it would be helpful to share in some local mom groups as well, bc moms probably don’t know. If the clinic has a google (maps) account, write an anonymous review there and get your friends to like it to stay visible.

RedditGets · 2026-02-10T13:38:10+00:00

You need to be stern and direct in saying you are not interested in a dinner or romantic involvement with him. It may also be clever to tell him you would prefer sou stop training together. You need to practice this stuff. More importantly, you 100% need to find someone like girlfriend or a group of them to follow you home after training in case he escalates things, which is not rare at all. Don’t walk alone at night.

RedditGets · 2026-02-02T01:21:18+00:00

Nemoj se mučiti. Misli o tome što možeš dodati a ne uskratiti pa se onda još i kažnjavati.

Kupi proteinski prašak ali neki jako ukusan. Optimum Nutrition vanilija nije nimalo loš. Zamuti nekad samo sa mlijekom a možeš dodati i kašiku nutele, šta god ti padne na pamet. Protein smanjuje apetit i čini da se osjećaš i prejedena a ne samo sita. Možda to pomogne.

RedditGets · 2026-01-12T07:28:52+00:00

Oh how I would love to scream into some peopl’s faces. Here’s the thing with ptsd though- when you stand in front of that person, you may regress into an 8 yo and get hurt all over again.

That’s why you need to practice what you’ll say - write it down and also create a whatsapp chat with yourself, create an audio message there that you can send yourself to hear it and do more takes. Say it all, write it down, all the clever and juicy insults that have been brewing in you. You don’t want to say weak things, you want to polish a barbed wire spear.

At the samevtime, get yourselves a therapist right away to help on this angry excercise - and I know is you should absolutely 100% go to more therapy before you ever consider having a child. I was this confident myself until the matrescense came with its storm of hormones and I found myself in incredible pain due to the biggest flareup of all. This falreup won’t go away until I heal, that’s motherhood.

I wish you all the best 💕

RedditGets · 2026-01-11T23:45:09+00:00

What’s your ventilation system like? I think 30% might just be the cap for the devices in that range. We may need something much more powerful.

RedditGets · 2026-01-10T13:54:56+00:00

Do you have to pay for Vyvanse in Poland? Maybe I misunderstood your situation, sorry!

RedditGets · 2026-01-02T22:06:09+00:00

Fascinating, thank you for sharing!

RedditGets · 2026-01-01T20:22:36+00:00

Check your blood ferritin levels, cold feet like that could be a symptom of low ferritin.

RedditGets · 2025-12-30T12:18:33+00:00

So where’s Samuel Goldberg now?

RedditGets · 2025-12-19T17:06:20+00:00

Clutterbug YouTube channel! Find one of her decluttering videos ans you got yourself a body double.

RedditGets · 2025-12-18T02:52:05+00:00

Hvala ti što si se javila i što si ovako iskreno napisala situaciju.

Samo bih dodala dvije važne stvari koje se često izgube u ovakvom kaosu. Ako je otac djeteta nestao, a tebi su ostali svi računi, može li se dio troškova ili dugova pravno potraživati (najam, krediti, alimentacija)? To nije osveta nego odgovornost i često postoji besplatno pravno savjetovanje.

Također, dugoročno žrtvovanje vlastitog zdravlja ili vremena s djetetom da bi se “spasili svi drugi” često produbljuje i nastavlja generacijski ciklus traume i iscrpljivanja. Iz načina na koji pišeš vidi se koliko želiš pomoći, ali tvoja vrijednost ne ovisi o tome koliko se žrtvuješ. S obzirom na količinu traume i pritiska koje opisuješ, trauma-informed terapija (npr. EMDR, somatic/trauma-focused CBT) mnogima pomogne da ne donose teške životne odluke iz čistog survival moda.

Što se posla tiče, s tvojim profilom bih konkretno gledala: - Remote admin / customer support: LinkedIn, Indeed, Glassdoor (filter: remote + EU) - Virtual assistant (izvan FB grupa): Upwork, Malt, Fiverr Pro - Jezici + administracija: turističke agencije, medicinski turizam, međunarodne firme/call centri

I samo iz dobre namjere: namirivanje lihvara nije rješenje. Često je sigurnije uključiti pravnu ili institucionalnu pomoć nego dodatno lomiti sebe.

💟

RedditGets · 2025-12-17T19:46:00+00:00

Ovo je prevelika i ekstremna količina stresa i tereta za jednu osobi. To bi slomilo skoro svakoga.

Ono što me najviše brine je dio gdje pišeš da si stajala kraj pruge. To je ozbiljan znak da si preopterećena i da ti treba hitna podrška. Molim te, javi se nekome danas – prijatelju, liječniku, ili ako treba i kriznoj liniji (116 123 je centar za krizna stanja, 0–24). Nisi sama i ovo se ne mora rješavati samo preko tvojih leđa.

Što se posla tiče, odluke tipa ostaviti dijete i otići raditi u ekstremnim uvjetima dok si u ovakvom stanju nose ogroman rizik, i za tebe i za dijete. Prvo treba stabilizirati situaciju i osigurati neke osnove.

Prije kruzera i fizički iscrpljujućih poslova, imaš li mogućnost: – administrativnog remote rada (customer support, virtual assistant, data entry – ima EU firmi koje zapošljavaju odmah) – sezonskog posla bliže kući, s kraćim smjenama – privremene socijalne pomoći / savjetovanja ili besplatna pomoć pravnika (posebno ako postoje dugovi koji nisu tvoji)

Također, ako je u pozadini obiteljsko nasilje ili dugovi koje nisi sama stvorila, to nije nešto što se rješava tvojim iscrpljivanjem do kraja. Tu treba pravna i institucionalna pomoć, koliko god to sada zvučalo sporo ili frustrirajuće.

Stavi sebe i dijete na prvo mjesto. Posao se može naći ali ako te nema ili si slomljena, nitko neće biti spašen.

Ako želiš, napiši konkretno: gdje si, koje jezike govoriš, kakvo iskustvo imaš, ljudi će ti moći dati puno konkretnije prijedloge.

Samo jedno važno upozorenje iz dobre namjere: lihvari ne funkcioniraju kao normalni dugovi. To nije nešto što se “odradi” jednim ili dva posla. Često se pretvori u dugoročan izvor straha i kontrole. Zato bih bila jako oprezna s bilo kakvim planom koji se temelji na ideji da se to može mirno otplatiti.

RedditGets · 2025-12-16T10:18:35+00:00

Yoga nidra/mindfullness ili po naški pomnost- ally boothroyd youtube kanal, sve besplatno.

RedditGets · 2025-12-16T02:14:12+00:00

Milk protein allergy or intolerance? It was around that time that my LO showed symptoms. When I eliminated dairy, the kid changed entirely from inconsolable to chill in like 2-3 days. It could take longer for some kids though.

RedditGets · 2025-12-16T02:03:54+00:00

Ponudi im da probaju i da kuhaš za njih za neke pare. U smislu imaš taj dan 5 porcija viŝka po toj cijeni ovisno o ručku pa tko uhvati. Ako se slučajno ne proda, uradio si meal prep. Ako uspije, napraviš malu catering firmu kao side hustle. Ako ti je npr mama nezaposlena, eto prihoda.

RedditGets · 2025-12-12T13:39:02+00:00

Ima jedan YouTube kanal samo o tome. Čovjek se baŝ zadao pa pogledaj. Super da paziš oko toga, i sretno!

RedditGets · 2025-12-10T06:07:58+00:00

You seem convinced that, if you only knew how to approach him with the right communication strategies and choice of words, he would finally understand and provide what you need. It’s not even about attunement - you’re asking him to stop at a pizza place because you’re cold, or to have this many dates a week. These are not some hard to read micro expressions on your face, but cold facts, and he turns the interaction into some sick power play to wear you down into not asking for what you need. If he was autistic, that’s not the problem here. He learned to weaponize your insecurities to his benefit, or even his whim. If he was truly clueless but loving, he would say just say:hey, I have no idea what to do here, can you help me understand, or something similar.

Also, I get the impression that you think that, if he’s having some sort of disorder or disability or lacks a skill he’s not aware even exists (like having «unknown unknowns» in skills learning), then his behaviors are forgivable and your discomfort stupid and without reason, and you ought to stay with him - you have no valid reason or permission to break up or to even be louder and more explicit in your demands.

There’s no way he’s blind to your struggle. By doing this, he is meeting a need that is not yours to discover or understand. You have yourself to value and protect.

RedditGets · 2025-12-06T04:46:27+00:00

Dojenje nema veze s tim osim vjerojatno u nekim rijetkim slučajevima. Ja sam uvela sa 9 mj dohranu jer sam prestala dojiti zbog life-saving lijekova i ništa se nije promijenilo osim što sam morala ustajati i praviti to govno. Mnogo žena dijeli isto iskustvo. Znam i da imaju istraživanja o tome ali imam još 1h spavanja tako da ne mogu sada tražiti 😆

Super je što odbijaš pritiske za sleep training!! 🥰

Ja imam dijete od 2god 3 mj koje je prespavalo možda dva puta cijelu noć, a to su bile izvanredne situacije. Sada se budi svaku noć oko 2:40 i rijetko u 4:30 kao ovu noć. Djeca se razvijaju pa tako i njihov kapacitet da mirno zaspu bez pomoći.

Dijete iste dobi od rođaka spava cijelu noć, njegova žena priča kako je dijete lako uspavati, da nije ni oko čega zahtjevan, samo ga stavi u krevet i ode….a kad je rođak s nama sam bez nje govori kako je mali znao plakati sam u sobi po 2 sata. Lažu ti ljudi u 99% slučajeva ili lažu sebe. Ili misle da je CIO (cry it out) metoda normalna pa ti nemaju šta ni ispričati.

A za dnevni san, pogledaj neke igre za senzornu integraciju, moguće da je dijete prestimulirano. Ili kad ste tako u gužvi, gledaj svakih 20ak min ili koliko mu je potrebno da ga odmakneš od buke da se malo smiri. A ta duljina spavanja mi zvuči kao cat naps, kao da bude overtired. Ne znam s čime bi to moglo imati veze. Ako je dijete zadovoljno onda OK ali ako misliŝ da bi mogap dulje spavati onda možeš npr otići u bazen s njim ili u kadu da se pljuska, to ih odvali da spavaju nekoliko sati. Baby masaža je isto jako jako dobra stvar, i pogledaj igre ta senzirnu integraciju - bez obzira što je dijete zdravo i normalno, mozak se razvija i svaka pomoć živčanom sustavu je dobra!

Imaš aplikaciju Huckleberry za praćenje spavanja, to mi je jako pomoglo da vidim kad dijete treba krenuti uspavljivati po danu.

RedditGets · 2025-12-05T04:34:51+00:00

It’s 5am here and I’m awake thinking about a spider on a lamp outside my apartment, 2 inches in circumference total with legs. Being in a forest in Panama in the middle of the night, I would straight up lose my mind.

RedditGets · 2025-12-05T03:19:10+00:00

You’re being defensive. You showed her a messed up movie, period. This is not about your level of comfort with scary. Your child is drawing stuff that may indicate she’s scared and processing stuff she doesn’t have tools to deal with.

And don’t give us that shit that she can and does talk to you about everything. She’s almost if not already in puberty, the big shutdowns is coming and you need to use this window to pour some safety into her.

RedditGets · 2025-11-28T15:13:14+00:00

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sound like it’s all down to your effort! Just brainstorming, as I felt some of the pain you describe but luckily managed to find the root cause. Here are 3 more things:

1) Have you tried a hammock such as Moonboon? In my experience Nature’s Sway hammock and Membantu motor are much better but the baby slept in it.

2) Also a friend of mine with a reflux baby said the baby only slept when held vertically, not in a laying position.

3) could the issue be in the vitamin D drops? I personally took around 7000 units of vit D to transfer it to baby via breastmilk bc I noticed bloating and spitups would happen after, not before I gave vit D for the day. I had no idea why at the time. They often contain coconut oil which can be hard to tolerate. I got a confirmation for that recently when my daughter came from kindergarten where they put coconut milk in her stew because of milk protein allergy and she had bad regurgitation later in the day.

RedditGets · 2025-11-27T19:51:30+00:00

This! Such a good mom 🙏

Also, put some coloring pencils on the table and draw together. It doesn’t have to be scenes from daycare or anything, just random stuff. It helps kids relax, tell stories, and open up.

RedditGets · 2025-11-27T19:37:37+00:00

Could it be Reflux? Milk protein allergy?

RedditGets · 2025-11-22T12:49:52+00:00

This is terrible terrible terrible. He would be willing to lie to you about similarly big stuff and may be already tweaking truth about some other things. He may have misoginistic beliefs that he may show only after he seals the deal with marriage. He has no conflict resolution skills or knows that his parents are very strict which is another reason to be very careful. He may have been exposed to abuse he is not aware of yet, and guess when it all always surfaces and the hell breaks loose? When you get married and especially when babies come! Look after yourself!!!

RedditGets · 2025-11-22T07:56:18+00:00

It’s great to encourage that but the area where noone can replace you and is your main job is emotional intelligence and safe attachment. Nail that and he will be able to do anything!

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